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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 11-15-2005, 01:00 AM
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Default Getting Over Divorce?

It is almost one year since my having left a 4 1/2 year relationship with the love of my life and I just can't seem to get over her. I am trying to move on. I have found another partner, we are buying a house and planning a family. I do love my new partner dearly but am not sure I am being fair to her still having so much anger and confusion still in my mind about why my marriage failed. Anyone else struggle as much as I am after this long or is this grief and loss normal even a year out of the relationship?
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Old 11-15-2005, 01:30 PM
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Have you considered counselling. Many employers have EAP available to employees to assist them with difficulties.
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Old 11-16-2005, 12:28 AM
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I have considered this although i have spoken to a few people which said it was really expensive for the help they received.
So im abit skeptical about it.
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Old 11-16-2005, 10:33 PM
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A lot depends on the choice of counsellor. Just like choosing a lawyer, you need to be careful in choosing a counsellor. If you can find the right one, they should be able to help.
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Old 12-09-2005, 08:49 PM
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Yes counseling is a good thing at this point in time. I was told once that a divorce is like a death. It no longer exist and what you had you cant get back( meaning with the ex). There is a greiving process for divorce and I was told it takes 2 to 5 years depending on the person. At this point sometimes the proper couseling is the best thing.
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Old 12-10-2005, 02:39 AM
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SigRent

Am I understanding your post correctly?
It sounds like you were the leaver.
Did you leave the marriage or did your spouse leave?
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Old 12-20-2005, 09:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lpstong
Yes counseling is a good thing at this point in time. I was told once that a divorce is like a death. It no longer exist and what you had you cant get back( meaning with the ex). There is a greiving process for divorce and I was told it takes 2 to 5 years depending on the person. At this point sometimes the proper couseling is the best thing.
Yeh I could believe it could take a long time to get over a divorce. And for many people I think counseling would/could help. I am considering it myself.
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Old 12-21-2005, 09:11 AM
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Default What does it mean to DIVORCE?

Yeah know. Divorce simply means --- you will stop caring for the other person (spouse). You can always pick up and move on in life and care for another more deserving person. Heck, there are so many people out there that are deserving of your love! It's a honor for one person to receive LOVE in a world so torn apart ...

So if you're the spouse that still has LOVE in your heart and soul ... consider this a precious GIFT from above to GIVE to someone who may be more deserving.

You're not divorcing your kids and as such, you should continue to care for them with all your heart!

When it comes to counselling ... you have to gauge your situation as unique and measure what it is you're trying to achieve. Counsillors are human and as such are fallible and apparently ... counsillors only have a statistical success rate of 25%! If you can realize your part of WHAT made the relationship deteriorate and LEARN from this and take ACTION to remedy it going forward ... you're already a MUCH better person.

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Old 12-23-2005, 01:39 PM
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Hubby,

I think that is pretty good advice. I heard something recently about we all deserve to find someone who loves us the way we deserve to bel loved. It is not easy to move on when we still have feelings for our ex. However, it is important not to lose faith in love. I think there is someone out there for all of us and we can all find someone who loves us deeply if we are open to that happening.
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