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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 09-07-2013, 10:46 PM
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Default Finding Balance - Another Rant!

Hi all,

After a year and an half of separation, several meetings with my lawyer and 3 meetings at court, all that's been accomplished is a basic temporary agreement that the EX refuses to respect. No idea of when any progress will be made. It's a mess and the more I attempt to 'educate' myself on how things should be done, the more I realize what little I know or what little I can do about any of it!

I read posts in here, search the Net for jurisprudence and relevant materials - end up more confused than when I started out. There are times when I feel secure in trusting my lawyer and waiting for a court date - other times when my patience runs out and I fear that I'm getting tossed under the bus by this farce we call the justice system. Finding balance is a struggle in any divorce ... the toughest part is having to place my trust and financial future in a stranger (lawyer) as I lack the knowledge or stamina to represent myself.

If I had any say-so, my divorce could have been settled a year ago. I know what I want, I know what the EX wants, we sign it, stamp it and GOD BLESS! Unfortunately, that's not how it works.

You want to know why so many of us suffer from depression at this time in our lives? It's not the break-up itself but rather the bureaucratic nightmare that sends people over the edge and off to therapy! I used to be a sane, reasonably cheerful person before all this! Nowadays I consider it a good day when I manage to get through it without having a meltdown. The frustration and sense of powerlessness is overwhelming at times...


I really admire those of you who have taken on the task of self representing. Sorry for the rant, I just needed to let off some steam ....

Jan
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Old 09-07-2013, 11:37 PM
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I empathize with you and your situation. The process can be excruciatingly slow and that is what makes it all the more frustrating.

My lawyer has told me he can get all the court orders in the world but having things enforced is another matter.

If I were to do everything over again (gasp, gag, sputter) I would allocate only 3 or 4 hrs/week to the 'battle' and put it out of my mind the rest of the time. I spent way too much time focused on this crap.

Now I look back and think "what a waste of 4 good years" however, I am still involved in litigation with no end in sight.

When you're fighting the person with all the money it's very hard though as they are playing hardball - hoping you will cave in.

Keep your cards close to your chest - that drives them crazy.
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Old 09-07-2013, 11:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Keep your cards close to your chest - that drives them crazy.
No driving necessary, he's already there, that's why I wanted out!
You're right Arabian, ''what a waste of 4 good years'' ... at my age, I should know better. (sigh)
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Old 09-08-2013, 09:21 AM
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My ex was awful last night too. Couldn't even talk about a simple change to accomodate D8's dance without yelling....

Does it help to know we are mostly all right there with you Jan? I don't have any words of wisdom. I'll just stand beside you, trying not to go crazy too.

Hugs.
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Old 09-08-2013, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
My ex was awful last night too. Couldn't even talk about a simple change to accomodate D8's dance without yelling....

Does it help to know we are mostly all right there with you Jan? I don't have any words of wisdom. I'll just stand beside you, trying not to go crazy too.

Hugs.
It's the ones doing the yelling that are crazy -
''I may be crazy, but it keeps me from going insane.''
Waylon Jennings
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