&^%$#%&*(%^ excuse my french!

[karmaseeker]

Every week there has to be something else.

Status quo has been we get the kids on Thursday for Easter.

She says no.

Lawyers letter says have the kids ready for Thurs.

She says no

We send email saying we will be collecting the children on thurs.

She says no. Taking the kids to the cottage for one night. You can have them Friday.

I am so unbelievably angry that she can violate and behave any way she wants, never putting the needs of this kids first, and never being held accountable.

It is easy for the nut job to prove non cooperation by simply never cooperating.

Now fiancee and I are arguing because we disagree on how to handle this. Why does it feel like I am fighting harder for his kids than him? He says we handle things differently. I just don't understand.

We've started counselling to deal with this constant crisis.

Now getting a migraine as I think my head may explode at any moment.

[WorkingDAD]

Originally Posted by karmaseeker

Every week there has to be something else.

Status quo has been we get the kids on Thursday for Easter.

She says no.

Lawyers letter says have the kids ready for Thurs.

She says no

We send email saying we will be collecting the children on thurs.

She says no. Taking the kids to the cottage for one night. You can have them Friday.

I am so unbelievably angry that she can violate and behave any way she wants, never putting the needs of this kids first, and never being held accountable.

It is easy for the nut job to prove non cooperation by simply never cooperating.

Now fiancee and I are arguing because we disagree on how to handle this. Why does it feel like I am fighting harder for his kids than him? He says we handle things differently. I just don't understand.

We've started counselling to deal with this constant crisis.

Now getting a migraine as I think my head may explode at any moment.

I know it almost imposable but I would like you to give one advice...
I know how hard is it but try VERY VERY HARD to mix all that indsanity into your relationship with your fiancee - it may just destroy your relationship. And probably that one other goal of other party...

And at the end of the day it his decision.

No offence but I am kind of strangling with the same ..

[iceberg]

All you can do for now is document it. How to document proparly? Read posts by Hammer Dad.

It is painful when one parent induces noncoopration and uses it vs the other parent.

[winterwolf7]

I had my Christmas ripped away in much the same way. Got a letter from X's lawyer outlining the Christmas visit schedule. Made plans, called family.

Then two days before Christmas get another letter from the lawyer saying it was an error and I don't actually get to see my son at all during Christmas.

Nice.

[HammerDad]

Ultimately, it is your fiances decision. Respect his decision as it is his children. If he is ok with this, I don't know why you should be anything but ok also.

Document the instance, but know that 1 instance isn't much to drag her in for contempt.

I know how this may affect you, as my fiance has the same issues. She just cannot stand my ex and always sees the bad in every action. But again, it this is my battle I am the one in the middle, and I will deal with it. Same goes in your situation.

[karmaseeker]

Thanks guys, It is the same with us for x mas, summer, and everything else. She dictates all access.

I know I worry more and stress more. It is hard for me not to get passionate about it for more than one reason. First, as I watch the kids suffer it drives me nuts, my momma bear instincts are activated. Second, because of my educational advantage I take care of the majority of legal prep, documentation, etc. So I am involved in the heart of it. At times, I would love to say, just leave me out of it and do it yourself. But, That wouldn't help anyone as I am more skilled and organized (he would agree with this). Each brings to a partnership skills and qualities. If I left him to struggle with something that is relatively easy for me to process through I wouldn't be doing a good job as a partner.

So while I wish I could agree that this is his problem alone... It directly impacts my life everyday in more ways then one. There is tension in the house, resources are all drained into this, and our lives feel put on hold.

So I am even more motivated to get things resolved because I want my life, with my partner, and children who are mentally and emotionally happy, with enough resources left at the end of the year to afford a trip to Canada's wonderland or even a holiday once in a year or two. I want peace and routine. These are simple desires that are reasonable.

Instead I see her mistreat her own children treating them like pawns in a game of power and money, take 4 holidays a year, destroy many families through multiple adultery, lie, cheat, disrupt, dictate, cause continual conflict, and all the while pleading some poor me crap to friends and family.

Just go get on with your new married lover and leave us alone!!! She has found replacement daddy and wants their REAL dad out of the scene.

It's disgusting what (some) women get away with. They give the rest of us a bad rep. The Pendulum has swung too far the other way. (Some) Women are not the victims they are the perpetrators of cruelty, abuse, and vile behaviour. Those women that behave like this should be ashamed of themselves. But that would require a conscience which clearly they are lacking!!

[dinkyface]

Even though you may have more skills, you can still back off a little and let him set the pace, and how hard to push, and where to draw the lines. Maybe as if you were the lawyer and he the client?

I can understand how frustrating it must be (or will be) to see lost opportunities, or to feel like HE is letting YOU be trampled on.

[wretchedotis]

Originally Posted by karmaseeker

I am so unbelievably angry that she can violate and behave any way she wants, never putting the needs of this kids first, and never being held accountable.

I suggest you get used to this. It sucks- but there is little to be done. File a motion of contempt, maybe. But that doesn't really help does it? Just kind of raises the conflict - and I imagine is no more difficult to not comply with than is an Order.

I feel your pain. I live it too.

[NBDad]

Document the crap out of it, then when you have sufficient documentation (3 + times) you file a motion of contempt and ask the existing order be clarified.

ie. That when holiday access times falls on a Friday, that access will begin the day prior at the usual time.

Then she can't say no. (or she can , but then it's actually contempt)

Kick your lawyer in the ass, he should know this already .

[neverdivorced]

Hang in there - it certainly seems like the courts are not there for the dad -