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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 01-03-2017, 10:32 PM
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Default Ex fabricates events in emails to use in court

I am new to this site and looking for some advice on my situation. My ex agreed 8 years ago to give me 70-30 custody of our two kids. We divorced officially 4 years ago and signed a deal that was pretty good child support wise for him and kept the 70-30 custody arrangement. The support payment agreement expired in march of last year but he did not make the required increase. I then received a proposed new agreement from his lawyer suggesting he get 50-50, not pay for daycare anymore, pay about 1000$ less a month etc. I feel this is all fuelled by his desire to save money rather than actuallly see his kids more. I emphatically said "NO" to this proposal and am now facing court (not officially but the lawyers have been communicating). My huge concern is that he is now fabricating events and writing them down in emails to me because he doesn't have anything against me and is a desperate man. I never held the kids from him. I follow the agreement. He is a shift worker and hasn't had any material change in circumstance. Not sure he has much to go on but scared to death he may win. He has been writing down all these false events and accusations and sending them to me because I think he believes it will be a he-said-she-said and maybe he could manipulate a judge into believing them. My question to those who have been through this: how much weight will a judge put on these he-said-she-said examples? What should I do to prepare against this? Is it harassment to be sent emails that defame me and falsify events? There is obviously so much more to this but any quick thoughts are appreciated.


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Old 01-03-2017, 11:32 PM
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What are you scared to death of?
He gets to see the kids 20% more and you lose money?
Why not just give him 50/50 and be done with it?
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Old 01-03-2017, 11:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
What are you scared to death of?
He gets to see the kids 20% more and you lose money?
Why not just give him 50/50 and be done with it?


As I stated, there is a lot more to it. He has been manipulating the kids to think less of me (attempting to by again making up stories). He cheated on me and every girlfriend since me which isn't a big deal except my kids have witnessed things like one girlfriend over one night and another the next night. He has a live-in girlfriend right now but I don't believe him to be a moral person at all. He never showed up to anything when they were younger if it conflicted with his own dating or sports schedule. Now he wants them when he is due to pay more? It just doesn't seem right to me, the person who has been trying to do right by them for this long. The biggest deal to me is that he needs to resort to fabricating all these lies about me and creating things that didn't happen in an effort to make me appear a bad person. I have a hard time just saying here have your kids 50/50 after what he's been doing to me.


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Old 01-03-2017, 11:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
What are you scared to death of?
He gets to see the kids 20% more and you lose money?
Why not just give him 50/50 and be done with it?


I should also mention that he has rarely ever paid his monthly support on time. Huge control freak who can't handle that support is a mandated thing. I have had to involve FRO. He is currently in arrears. I know this doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad dad. It makes me pretty reluctant to just give him what he wants though when I've spent years trying to get him to honour the agreement.


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Old 01-04-2017, 12:11 AM
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So would you be willing to accept the status quo for both custody and CS?
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Old 01-04-2017, 12:16 AM
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So would you be willing to accept the status quo for both custody and CS?


I would accept less $ than what I am receiving if he would leave custody status quo. I suspect if we go to mediation before court that my lawyer will suggest some kind of support related deal with him. It's not about the money for me at all - I would reduce everything if he left custody as is.


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Old 01-04-2017, 12:59 AM
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File with FRO.

Ignore his fabricated emails.
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Old 01-04-2017, 05:08 AM
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
File with FRO.

Ignore his fabricated emails.


I have already filed with them. I am trying to ignore the emails. Just collecting evidence to the contrary. I guess that's all I can do. It's happening at least once or twice a week though and feels a bit like harassment. Do you not think things like this could be used against me or will the onus be on him more to prove they're true over me proving they're not?


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Old 01-04-2017, 01:17 PM
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He would have to prove they are true.
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