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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 03-29-2012, 03:59 PM
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Default Ex is dating...complete 360 !

Can anyone give me advice on how to work around this...

My ex has been seeing someone which is great...I was hoping it would be the push he needs to speed this up as I can't afford court.

At the beginning he was very amicable, and much more pleasant with me (more than he has been in the past 14 years ! )...Now they are apparently getting more serious and he has done a 360 and is absolutely wicked again with me... Why ? Wouldn't you dating somebody seriously make you happier in general ? Any advice on how to handle or just go back to radio silence until he stops/eases up...

Thanks
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Old 03-29-2012, 04:50 PM
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His new hearthrob may be the cause of the animosity - happens all the time.

It's too bad some people don't have the guts to say "She WAS my wife but we're divorced now. We will always, however, be linked by our past together. Get over it."

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 03-29-2012, 05:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary M View Post
It's too bad some people don't have the guts to say "She WAS my wife but we're divorced now. We will always, however, be linked by our past together. Get over it."
Hear, Hear!

Radio Silence is probably a good thing right now.
Don't rise to the occasion.
Water off a ducks back.
Wish I could follow my own advice, though.
LOL

Last edited by wretchedotis; 03-29-2012 at 05:37 PM.
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Old 03-29-2012, 06:22 PM
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Radio silence is the best. Now we only communicate through lawyers and at court which is a relief. Girlfriend interference has cost him megabucks as I absolutely refuse to talk to him now. Make sure your lawyer has all the court issues in a private setting where the girlfriend can't attend and "coach" him. We've had her removed from the courtroom - drives her crazy.

Good luck
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Old 03-29-2012, 06:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary M View Post
His new hearthrob may be the cause of the animosity - happens all the time.

It's too bad some people don't have the guts to say "She WAS my wife but we're divorced now. We will always, however, be linked by our past together. Get over it."

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 03-29-2012, 06:52 PM
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I was the new girlfriend and now the wife. In my husband's case, it was simply that he no longer said how high when she said jump. She didn't like that very much and 5 years later, nothing has changed.

There isn't a lot of room in a relationship for an ex, LOL.

Don't take it personally, just live your life and only deal with him when you need to.

Last edited by CCB; 03-29-2012 at 06:54 PM.
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Old 03-29-2012, 07:02 PM
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May May: Gary is right. He's probably whipped. Such a sad sight.

I say RADIO SILENCE and kill him w/kindness when you must respond. No rhyme or reason sometimes -- my ex is re-married and we don't even talk but he's still a total a*shole. The occasional text/email - always a jerk. I'm glad he's with someone. I just don't know how anyone can stand him lol.

How old are your kids? Perhaps it would be a good idea if you met the new lucky lady After all, she will be around the kids. Would be a perfect opportunity to demonstrate that you are a good, decent person and happy for your ex

Hahaha WretchedOtis: I sometimes have problemos with my own advice too, but I'm gettin' better at it

Last edited by hadenough; 03-29-2012 at 07:04 PM.
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Old 03-29-2012, 07:48 PM
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Quote:
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MHow old are your kids? Perhaps it would be a good idea if you met the new lucky lady After all, she will be around the kids. Would be a perfect opportunity to demonstrate that you are a good, decent person and happy for your ex
That sounds like a baaaaaad idea... It's already a hostile situation. I'd leave it for at least long enough to know his relationship is serious and things calm down. Just play the nice guy. Who knows what lies he's told her about you.
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Old 03-29-2012, 07:59 PM
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Oh May_May are will living the same life? Ex was way easier to deal with before the girlfriend. I’m calking mine’s new attitude up to “wow she really doesn’t care if I date, well that pisses me off more!”
I’d go radio silence in the hopes it will eventually blow over.
Good luck!
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Old 03-29-2012, 08:21 PM
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When I was still with my DD's mother, she 'supported' me in my split with my prior ex'es by calling them all sorts of names. Unfortunately, she somehow hadn't picked up on the fact that they were still VERY good friends of mine.

So perhaps the new GF is 'supporting' him in encouraging him to believe he is blameless, and you are evil incarnate.
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