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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 03-15-2013, 11:00 AM
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Default Ex banging on my locked door

My ex is currently banging on my locked door with the kids beside her cursing and swearing at me. She's calling me a liar. Demanding I open the door.

I'm working from home today. It's her access day and she has the kids.

She is swearing at me and picking fights because I told her I won't do her taxes.

Edit: yes my recorder is running.
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:04 AM
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I had a couple similar incidences when I was in the house.

Don't open the door, remind her that the kids are with her and that you're giving her 10 seconds before you call the police.

Then do it in exactly 10 seconds if she doesn't stop. And when you call them, tell them you're behind a locked door and hold the phone up so they can hear the noise.
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:29 AM
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It stopped and my son came down and wanted in my room so I let him in so I took the opportunity to tell him I loved him and I was sorry he had to listen to the yelling.

I then had to go upstairs and get something for work. She then took that opportunity to call me a liar and again start to swear at me. Asked her to stop in front of the children and returned to the basement.

I have a conference call in 5 minutes. Hopefully there will be no more interruptions.

Should I send her an email stating her behavior or just let it die.

Lol she just sent me a text. "Can u please change the laundry so I don't have to come down there and disturb u while ur working"

Nice.
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:30 AM
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Even if you were the nicest guy in the world, no sane person would advise you to do your ex's taxes. So much possibility for things to go south, if you make even one minor mistake. If you had reason to be really nice, give her a check for what H&R asks for a basic return ($59 I think). But seeing as she is screaming, I wouldn't give her a penny - what would that teach the children, that screaming and temper tantrums get you what you want?
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:35 AM
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I wouldn't send an email, its pointless but I would note the incidences in my daily log in extreme detail (including the kid coming down to get comforted) and make another copy of that tape.

You can't use that tape in court...but you can definitely use it during a
custody evaluation...make a copy and get the copy somewhere safe.

She's definitely escalating...so please be vigilant and keep your tape recorder on at all time. Be careful to try to stay away from her in the house.

Lol...If she starts screaming at your conference call it gives you a whole meeting room full of people to affidavit.

Sorry about your day FB...hang in there..these next few months will be the worst of it until you're out of the house. Take care of your kids and best wishes!

By the way, why can't her bf do her taxes?
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:43 AM
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I know its not "funny" but I still say it's a "good sign" when we can find some humour in the chaos. It's definitely not funny or fun - but some of it is (sadly) humorous.
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Old 03-15-2013, 12:15 PM
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One of the things she said at the door was that the counselor told us we need to communicate "for" the children.

I don't think this is exactly what the counselor meant.

When I told her I was not doing her taxes. She then said well fine I'm going to do my own taxes and I'm claiming all the kids deductions.

I was ignoring her so well all morning and then she was able to get me going. I quickly realized that I slipped up and immediately went to my room and locked the door. The chaos ensued.

Lesson learned... I think i'm going to step out of the house for lunch. To take a breath.
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Old 03-15-2013, 01:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
One of the things she said at the door was that the counselor told us we need to communicate "for" the children.

I don't think this is exactly what the counselor meant.
haha. No, this is not what he meant. And that's not "communicating". Unless she's trying to use Morse-code on your door with her fist.

Sorry to hear about this. Just be sure to keep calm (she's hoping you blow up). You have your recorder, so you can prove that you're the non-combatitive one.

I hope you remain safe. Use your judgement.
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Old 03-15-2013, 02:08 PM
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OMG are you f'in kidding me.

She just came downstairs (door unlocked for the kids) asked me to borrow $10 to take the kids to the Mcd's playland. I told her no I'm not lending you money I will never get it back. You can go to the bank and get some. She then yells up to the kids "We can't go your father won't give me any money"

My son comes downstairs and asks me "why won't you give mommy any money" I just said to him that "mommy has her own money"

He goes back upstairs and I heard him say something although I don't know what it was"

I then heard her yell at him that "No daddy is cheap and doesn't pay for anything"

I'm about to lose it.

I think I'm about to send my lawyer an email outlining what has happened to day. He is planning on updating the court documents this weekend.
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Old 03-15-2013, 02:23 PM
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I would offer to do her taxes, and have her disclose a cash income of $150,000.

Show that she has paid a lot of tax already, so she is getting a huge refund. She'll sign that one happily

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