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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2013, 09:22 PM
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Its such a shame that we get dragged down to their levels when knowing something isn't right, and yet we feel that we have to take a stand against something that is wrong. I would stay away, and find somewhere else to go. Respect your children utmost, and if you feel that one day they need to know just how badly their "mommy" treated you, this will be a shining example of her behavior.
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2013, 09:24 PM
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And, FB_,

I apologise to you on the behalf of all humanity.

I think that is the most evil thing I have ever heard of on this website.

It'll get better. Please believe me.
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2013, 09:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Porthopeman View Post
Respect your children utmost, and if you feel that one day they need to know just how badly their "mommy" treated you, this will be a shining example of her behavior.
Good grief, that's just as bad as what the FB's ex is trying to do. I have a gadzillion situations where I could play what "daddy" did... but I don't and never will play them. Are you serious?

FB -go home.. Looks like there are a bunch of us up tonight, who will be there to talk you through it.
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2013, 09:35 PM
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My vote is grab a date and crash the party. If you and the date can't keep your hands off each other that's not awkward ...for you anyways.
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2013, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by involveddad75 View Post
Emotional Teflon.

This is my new Mantra.
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2013, 09:38 PM
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I just want zero chance of conflict. its been documented debated and beaten to death. this is the type of person she is. My son told me last weekend that she doesnt like mommy anymore because in the words of a 7 year old "she makes us see her friends and not my friends" of course im not going to tell her that ill just get blamed for trying to sway him in his opinions.

i will be going home later but not now i dont see any good coming from either option. so im kinda in a pickle.

i just wish she could act mature but i know thats not going to happen.

thanks for all the comments.
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2013, 09:44 PM
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It is evil.. Really evil.

The stbx is a total bitch and her bf is a loser. He should be taking notes - he picked a real beauty. There is no f*cking way that I would be dragged into that scenario. If it were me, I'd just rather not be there.

I'm still reeling at how anyone goes along with that! Unreal. I just worry if they are all in the same house, there's likely alcohol involved (dinner party)- I just see it potentially erupting. It's such a slap in the face.

FB, document this for your own records and just know it won't always be this way. Take a lot of comfort in the knowledge that your stbx is a true low-life, you are fortunate to be rid of her, and under no circumstances do you, nor should you stoop to that unconscionable level.
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Old 01-18-2013, 09:45 PM
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Just go home by yourself, be the mature person.

I agree with what was said earlier, act like she is a room mate.

Be Emtional Teflon, and record, "for your own note taking purposes."

I will not let my STBX upset me.
I will not let my STBX push me.
I will not let my STBX control me.
I will not let me STBX affect me.
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2013, 09:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
I just want zero chance of conflict..
That is not a reasonable expectation.

Your best chance for minimizing conflict is to be Assertive, not Passive, not Aggressive. Assertive.

Google it, take a course, get some therapy and ask the therapist for assertiveness training, whatever you have to do. Avoiding conflict is not resolving conflict.
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2013, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
That is not a reasonable expectation.

Your best chance for minimizing conflict is to be Assertive, not Passive, not Aggressive. Assertive.

Google it, take a course, get some therapy and ask the therapist for assertiveness training, whatever you have to do. Avoiding conflict is not resolving conflict.
im more thinking of a false dv charge as conlict not just an argument.

i do stand up for myself i just didnt feel like walking in on it.
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