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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #81 (permalink)  
Old 09-23-2010, 11:59 PM
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The OP does have a hard situation to deal with. She is on the receiving end of a charge based on false allegations, and I think it is clear because her ex wanted to get the upper hand so that he would be able to prevent her from bringing his bad behavior to light.

Luckily there is a higher burden of proof needed for a conviction,and if she has a good lawyer who is able to get to the heart of the matter, she may have a good chance to use the false allegation to show exactly what her ex is and has done.
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Old 09-24-2010, 12:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rwm1273 View Post
Maybe if you did not jump to conclusions you would not need to apologize.
This is a smart ass comment. Try and deny it.

I'm not belittling your comments. I was just a little offended that you felt the need to add your 2 cents just to stir things up, especially when there was no issue between Hammerdad and I.

I'm sorry, but I've lived through a very similar situation as the OP. When you are lying there crying inside just waiting for him to get off...it's assault, esp after you've said no.
  #83 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2010, 01:49 PM
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Billiechic.

Yes I was out of line. I was angry with a few comments, and I retaliated. I was not trying to stir things up between you and HD. Sorry.

I know that divorce is such a terrible emotional rollercoaster, and non of us are able to get off the ride, regardless of how much we try to.

I feel for the OP, as I feel for anyone who has been the victim of assault. I personally don't know how some men can do that kind of thing. I personally could never do it, nor live with myself if I knew my partner was not into it, or atleast a willing partner.

But as I said earlier, I have also been a victim of an allegation of this kind of assault, (and many others) and I went through some very difficult emotional moments wondering what would happen. It is a very difficult thing to defend against if the other side is very convincing, and you worry about going to jail and loosing your children for ever, not to mention your career, and all your friends. I lost many nights sleep, and it was very hard on everyone around me. I can also tell you that sitting in a jail cell waiting to find out if they will let you out is a very emotional thing, and some of the police are very quick to judge you.

Luck for me, I had enough other proof of her lies, that the judge saw the accusation for what it was, and I never had to face that kind of allegation again, as her focus was other allegations such as stocking and vandalization, but again all false.

Our courts are completely disfunctional. Both men and women are capable of abusing the system, and from what I have seen, I have witnessed bias, and I therefore have strong opinions on that. However I do look at each issue as a one by one problem, and I do try to give suggestions as to what you can do to help in that situation. I have studied much of the law, and am currently starting to study for an LLB.(may as well put to use what I have learned).
  #84 (permalink)  
Old 10-07-2010, 09:48 AM
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Wow... my head is spinning after reading this conversation thread.
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