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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-21-2010, 09:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rwm1273 View Post
I agree that no means no, but calling it assault may be a bit of a stretch unless there are more details. And no I don't want to know more details. But I am skeptical of the assault label.
It is assault or rape. ANYONE who forces UNWANTED sexual contact on someone is assaulting them and there are laws to protect people against this very thing - even if they're married. Marriage doesn't take away your right to your own body.

Marital rape and sexual assault is a crime in Canada (and many other countries), as outlined in Bill C-127 passed in 1983. It's is NOT a stretch to call it sexual assault. Please don't trivialize the issue simply because you don't like what it's called - it's called that for a reason.
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Old 09-21-2010, 10:00 AM
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I know I'll get slammed for this, but shoplifting is a criminal offence too. Calling something a criminal offence in itself is next to meaningless in terms describing it's impact on the victim.

Is a wife who has sex forced on her by her husband a victim? Yes. Is she as much a victim as woman who is assaulted by a stranger at knifepoint? In some cases she may be more of a victim if the abuse is ongoing for years. In other cases less. In all cases the entire situation has to be taken into account to determine how serious it was. That is not my opinion, that is the law, there are degrees of sexual assault recognized in the criminal code, this was a long thought out change from the old rape charge that was and is supported by feminists.

I have no idea if mamma mudfoot's ex is a sociopathic abuser or if she is using one instance of unwanted attention to label herself a victim. None of us knows that. We can give advice on the information provided.
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Old 09-21-2010, 10:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkees View Post
AnarX-You are an idiot
17 posts and a couple of weeks under your belt and you're well and truly entrenched in the name calling. Keep it up. It's a good look for you.
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Old 09-21-2010, 10:31 AM
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dadtotheend-2000+ posts on a website?????? Do you ever leave your computer? Who is looking after your poor kids as it appears all your time and energy is spent here spewing your negativity?
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Old 09-21-2010, 10:38 AM
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Perhaps you have noticed that I have been around here for over 3 years. You'll also note that I post here, on average, less than twice a day.

If you take a look at the body of posts that I have made, I trust you will see that I have brought far more to the table than have you.
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Old 09-21-2010, 10:38 AM
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DTTE - member since 2007:

Total Posts: 2,085
Posts Per Day: 1.77

Um, that doesn't seem to be a whole lot when put in perspective, now does it?

Last edited by blinkandimgone; 09-21-2010 at 10:39 AM. Reason: the voices told me to...
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Old 09-21-2010, 10:39 AM
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Oh....jinx!
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Old 09-21-2010, 10:47 AM
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Oh...well

Thanks!
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Old 09-21-2010, 11:03 AM
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You take all this way to seriously. You have better posts than me. Oh nos. Whatever will I do. This is a divorce advice site, or at least I thought it was. What it turned out to be is the same lot of emotionally crippled people jumping peoples throats on a message board. They should re-name it to - "Can't get over my own issues to have an ojective opinion so please post your question and and dadtotheend and his friends can feel better about themselves for a minute or two by preying upon others who may be as equally emotionally distraught".

Anyhoo, AnarX and RMW1273- No means no, married or not. creepy.

Original poster, so sorry you are facing such a trying time and wish you the best. Report the abuse. Abuse is wrong and unless you speak up about it it wont stop. It is about control and if they are unable to control you physically they will turn to other methods such as what you are going through. Keep strong and keep your kids safe emotionally.
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Old 09-21-2010, 11:41 AM
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Hey before you people jump all over me, all I said here was that the story needed more information. The rest of my post was to her problem, and was very sympathetic to her plight.

Here is her quote:

The last time my ex sexually assaulted me, in the same bed as our children ...

Kind of leaves questions as to what happened.

which leads us to this comment in reply:

Having sex with a sleeping child beside us happened -- although not often enough, in my opinion.

I do not know what happened to get her arrested. I am sure that her accusation of assault at mediation put him up to get her arrested. Bottom line is there is lots more going on than what we have been told. But if she made a serious accusation of sexual assault at mediation, I am surprised that nothing got done in mediation about that. I do believe that mediators have an obligation to take action in such situations, and from her post she did mention that they did not seem to care unless the children were in harms way. Based on her post, the children witnessed the assault, so it is hard do understand why they did not act, and all I pointed out was more info was needed.

If you want to chastise me, don't cherry pick your quotes. Take the whole comment, and judge it in that light. Anyone can twist things out of context as I think was done here, and I am sure due to my other posts.
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