Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce Support

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 09-21-2010, 10:20 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Vaughan
Posts: 2,360
billiechic is on a distinguished road
Default Do yourself a favour

and read this page: Don't Cheat Yourself After Divorce - Part 1 | The Psycho Ex Wife

I can't remember who posted a link to this website today, but I think there is something in there for all of us. This one is about accepting some accountability for the problems in your marriage, even if you were living with the "psycho-ex wife". This is the idea that finally took the wool from my eyes. When I realized that I was ALLOWING his behaviour and ACCEPTED that I was partially responsible for the marriage failure. It was a horrible thing to realize, but imperitive to move forward.

HTH!
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 09-21-2010, 10:35 PM
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,944
logicalvelocity has a spectacular aura aboutlogicalvelocity has a spectacular aura aboutlogicalvelocity has a spectacular aura about
Send a message via Yahoo to logicalvelocity
Default

Thanks for the link.

In the article -- It's not clear why the individual failed to receive medical attention and whether it would of made a difference in the outcome of their marriage. Perhaps cost of the medical treatment was a factor as the site appears to be US based.
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 09-21-2010, 10:40 PM
tugofwar's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: mostly in my own little world
Posts: 1,384
tugofwar is on a distinguished road
Default

Great article, wish I read it awhile ago. Even though I do blame my ex for alot of things, I know also where I failed at marriage and was able to see this once we split up. I would rant about him, but at the same and would tell my faults to them as well too. But according to him it didn't really matter what I did or said, he was forced into the marriage and nothing could save something that wasn't really there to begin with???

Last edited by tugofwar; 09-21-2010 at 10:43 PM.
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 09-21-2010, 11:59 PM
InterprovincialParents's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 908
InterprovincialParents is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to InterprovincialParents
Default

Funny thing for me was that I never blamed my ex...we split when I got pregnant (was not supposed to be able to) and he did not want to be a parent...it was not his fault or mine that the tables turned...what I ended up blaming him for was his lack of involvement and caring for his child, but even there, I knew when I decided to keep the child and walk away that he did not want it...my issue, not his...

Que Sera Sera
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 09-22-2010, 12:00 AM
InterprovincialParents's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 908
InterprovincialParents is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to InterprovincialParents
Default

I just need a reminder every so often
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 09-22-2010, 01:06 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 610
ConcernenedStepMom78 is on a distinguished road
Default

Whether an abusive relationship or not it always takes 2 to tango. Thank you for posting the link I take accountability for the downfall of my last marriage but still find I fall victim to the same behaviours during my previuos marriage, its so true that surviaval skills kick in and we dont even realize what we are doing until its too late. Thank You for that Link, it came at a perfect time.
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 09-22-2010, 01:26 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,175
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about
Default

I had a big long post typed out but my computer crashed went I tried to post it and I'm too tired to retype it. Just pretend I said something deep and profoundly resonant here.
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 09-22-2010, 01:29 PM
InterprovincialParents's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 908
InterprovincialParents is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to InterprovincialParents
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
I had a big long post typed out but my computer crashed went I tried to post it and I'm too tired to retype it.
lol...welcome to my yesterday! Only, it was the laptop going "back" on my browser.

Very profound indeed
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 09-22-2010, 01:43 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,175
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about
Default

Thanks! The realization was life changing I tell ya.
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 09-22-2010, 02:02 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Vaughan
Posts: 2,360
billiechic is on a distinguished road
Default

For me too. That's why I posted it. Not taking any responsibility for how our lives turn out is one of my biggest pet-peeves. Even I, a victim of years of domestic abuse, must take some responsibility for it. I let it continue.
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Interesting Article on Joint Custody Grace Political Issues 23 03-20-2012 10:35 AM
Representation by male or female lawyer? Heart-broken dad Common Law Issues 8 01-23-2008 11:50 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:55 PM.