Do yourself a favour

[billiechic]

and read this page: Don't Cheat Yourself After Divorce - Part 1 | The Psycho Ex Wife

I can't remember who posted a link to this website today, but I think there is something in there for all of us. This one is about accepting some accountability for the problems in your marriage, even if you were living with the "psycho-ex wife". This is the idea that finally took the wool from my eyes. When I realized that I was ALLOWING his behaviour and ACCEPTED that I was partially responsible for the marriage failure. It was a horrible thing to realize, but imperitive to move forward.

HTH!

[logicalvelocity]

Thanks for the link.

In the article -- It's not clear why the individual failed to receive medical attention and whether it would of made a difference in the outcome of their marriage. Perhaps cost of the medical treatment was a factor as the site appears to be US based.

[tugofwar]

Great article, wish I read it awhile ago. Even though I do blame my ex for alot of things, I know also where I failed at marriage and was able to see this once we split up. I would rant about him, but at the same and would tell my faults to them as well too. But according to him it didn't really matter what I did or said, he was forced into the marriage and nothing could save something that wasn't really there to begin with???

[InterprovincialParents]

Funny thing for me was that I never blamed my ex...we split when I got pregnant (was not supposed to be able to) and he did not want to be a parent...it was not his fault or mine that the tables turned...what I ended up blaming him for was his lack of involvement and caring for his child, but even there, I knew when I decided to keep the child and walk away that he did not want it...my issue, not his...

Que Sera Sera

[InterprovincialParents]

I just need a reminder every so often

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

Whether an abusive relationship or not it always takes 2 to tango. Thank you for posting the link I take accountability for the downfall of my last marriage but still find I fall victim to the same behaviours during my previuos marriage, its so true that surviaval skills kick in and we dont even realize what we are doing until its too late. Thank You for that Link, it came at a perfect time.

[blinkandimgone]

I had a big long post typed out but my computer crashed went I tried to post it and I'm too tired to retype it. Just pretend I said something deep and profoundly resonant here.

[InterprovincialParents]

Originally Posted by blinkandimgone

I had a big long post typed out but my computer crashed went I tried to post it and I'm too tired to retype it.

lol...welcome to my yesterday! Only, it was the laptop going "back" on my browser.

Very profound indeed

[blinkandimgone]

Thanks! The realization was life changing I tell ya.

[billiechic]

For me too. That's why I posted it. Not taking any responsibility for how our lives turn out is one of my biggest pet-peeves. Even I, a victim of years of domestic abuse, must take some responsibility for it. I let it continue.