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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #71 (permalink)  
Old 10-11-2013, 03:49 PM
FB_ FB_ is offline
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Originally Posted by forthekids View Post
I witnessed something last night that I am unsure how I feel about it. Our neighbours daughter was outside arguing with her boyfriend. He was in his car and she was standing outside of it. As they argued she was reaching inside the car and punching him and spitting in his face. She did this approx 6 times through out the 20 minute dispute. People say that you should never hit a woman. I have a hard time justifying the need for equality when someone like this beats the crap out of her boyfriend but if he even raised a hand, he would be lynched.

Needless to say, he just left and good for him but if I was him, I am not sure I could have contained myself.

There was more than enough provocation here to give her at least one good slap. ( I know it sounds mean but is it based solely because she is female?) equality comes with the bad stuff too. If you want to raise your hand to someone, prepare to get it back.

You should have called the police.

I know that sounds bad, but it is assault. Intervention at a young age may prevent it in the future.

I recently saw something on tv where the filmed a man being abusive towards a women in public and what happened. Many called the police. They then did the same thing but with the women hitting the man. Only one person called the police. They also interviewed the passerby's asking why or why they didn't do anything. I'll try and find it.

EDIT: here it is ABC news‎

I ask you this. Had the guy been hitting the women would you have called the police?

Last edited by FB_; 10-11-2013 at 03:55 PM.
  #72 (permalink)  
Old 10-11-2013, 04:03 PM
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That's what I am trying to say. I can't even justify my own lack of reaction to this. If she was getting beat up, I think my fiance and I would have intervened for her safety and then called the police. But why did we not do anything? Or would we have waited until he hit her back to intervene. I am totally second guessing myself on this.
  #73 (permalink)  
Old 10-11-2013, 04:44 PM
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From what you say here, it sounds like you did the right thing. The boyfriend had the means to escape the situation - driving away - and he did. I think intervention would have been justified if he had not been able to free himself. If you knew the daughter well, you could have gone over and tried to distract her, but I don't think you had a moral obligation to do so if the boyfriend was
not in immediate danger. Depending on how well you get along with the neighbors, you might have a word with them about what you saw - they may not realize how screwed up their daughter is.

I've intervened in scenes of street violence (and I am a short not very intimidating-looking middle-aged woman), but only when it was clear the victim was being prevented from leaving, and only if I was sure it was safe for me to engage (i.e. no weapons).
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