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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 10-01-2013, 06:53 PM
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Having a good divorce lawyer makes all the difference in the world. Yes, they are obviously coin operated since they do have to make a living. But they are not robots, the good ones go through the mess with you and even act as your therapist at times. I will say this: my divorce lawyer was fantastic. We were friends until he passed about 5 year's back. He always listened to my concerns, never belittled me...put up with my tears, my unruly behaviour at times, my phone calls at night, you name it!

My advice always, find someone who cares. It will make all the difference in how you perceive your divorce.
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Old 10-01-2013, 07:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Gordy View Post

My advice always, find someone who cares. It will make all the difference in how you perceive your divorce.
At first, they all seem to care.

Back in the 80s it might have been a little different... but now Family Law is a mega-multi-billion $$$ industry and "caring" is not something that is part of the system.

I interviewed 5 different lawyers... specifically picked the one who seemed to "care" the most.

'nuff said.
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Old 10-01-2013, 10:54 PM
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Originally Posted by SomeGuy View Post
At first, they all seem to care.

Back in the 80s it might have been a little different... but now Family Law is a mega-multi-billion $$$ industry and "caring" is not something that is part of the system.

I interviewed 5 different lawyers... specifically picked the one who seemed to "care" the most.

'nuff said.
You could interview 1,000 of them and it would not change anything. They see so much drama - real or imagined that I believe they become immune to it. Our personal hell is nothing more than a meal-ticket to them ...

Mine has a sense of humor and has helped me to see things from a judge's point of view - which has helped me. Though this forum is FREE and I have learned way more in here!
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Old 10-03-2013, 12:12 PM
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Am suprised it was only a month. I don't know you, I wasn't there, but based on your story and version of events.....YOU SHOULD HAVE GOT A HARSHER PUNISHMENT!

Nobody condones hitting anyone, let alone a woman, and to throw a saucer at her? You think some of us guys on here haven't had worse said or done to us?

She baited you big time, and you fell for it...shame it impacted your kids too. Oh, and your neighbour got to BANG your wife (ex), and probably did it in your bed and in your house that you paid for/were paying for...salt to injury

NOTE: contrary to what some namby-pamby oik on here might think, I love women (I have 2 sister after all), and condone any violence towards them or anyone
Judgemental are we? You have no idea what kind of saucer it was, where it was thrown, the context of it. But it's violence against women? I won't get into details, but she did a LOT worse than that yet I never called the police. She called the police months later when I would not leave the matrimonial home, she was given advice by a friend of hers I learned who said it's a great trick to get your husband out of your life. The advice was this: find an incident where the both of you argued, where you felt threatened, or if he's ever thrown anything at your during the arguement be it a book, a cup, doesn't matter. My ex in her desperation to have her new lover move in and take over my life was to call the police. She told them that she wants me to leave. They said, "well he doesn't have to since this is also his home". She said, "well he threw a saucer at me last year". That was enough. At the time they asked her if she wanted to press charges (that's how it worked back then) and she said 'yes'. I was teaching math and science at a local high school at the time, they arrested me in front of my students. It was the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. I never went back to teaching after this.

You are a real dink, oink. While it may make you feel good for saying things that are politically correct, doesn't make you good and right.

You say I should have spent more than a month in jail for that? You are a sick person. You are obviously very judgemental, you know very little about the facts surrounding this let alone what kind of plastic saucer it was, the fact it was not thrown at her. I was found not guilty, they offered me a peace bond which I declined. No way, I was not guilty of assault. She was guilty of assault a number of times over the course of our marriage and I never called the police.
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Old 10-03-2013, 12:16 PM
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Women can chase their husband with a hammer, ruin their most prized posessions, slap you, scratch you,
We can? Damn, I didn't get the memo.

Quote:
A woman can hit a man 20 times in a year with a hammer in Ontario,
Exactly 20? What if one hit is kind of light? Can I go to 21?
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Old 10-03-2013, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
We can? Damn, I didn't get the memo.
Yes you can because at the end we can dodge/block saucers - that is the logic.
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Old 10-03-2013, 12:22 PM
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Yes you can because at the end we can dodge/block saucers - that is the logic.
Well, the DV movement for women was started by women. So if men are being abused and not getting help, by all means they should organize.

I would never put my hands on any other person to physically hurt them unless I was defending myself or my children...never have. I have no right to do that and neither does any other person.

But honestly, if your wife hits you in the back of the head with a hammer and you don't call the cops...what on earth are you thinking?
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 10-03-2013, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
Well, the DV movement for women was started by women. So if men are being abused and not getting help, by all means they should organize.
The pendulum swings....

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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
I would never put my hands on any other person to physically hurt them unless I was defending myself or my children...never have. I have no right to do that and neither does any other person.
You don't, but the reality is you couldn't probably do that much damage to a man. So if you do go nuts and attack him as long as he isn't in real danger you'll be fine. This is really based on what I've read and that people say

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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
But honestly, if your wife hits you in the back of the head with a hammer and you don't call the cops...what on earth are you thinking?
hit on the head with hammer? prob not thinking much at all!
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 10-03-2013, 12:35 PM
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To Gordy:

Well, in Quebec or any other province nobody gets away with hammer-hitting anyone - male or female unless they keep quiet about it. Violence happens and anyone can become the victim of an aggressive manipulative Ex.

Your mistake Gordy was that you did not call the police and press charges, you should have done that immediately rather than retaliating and risking jail time. No fault divorce means that your ex can cheat on you and still get CS or SS it does not mean that she can get way with harming you, that's not a family court issue that's criminal law.

I'm sorry that you went through this, but 2 wrongs don't make a right.
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 10-03-2013, 12:35 PM
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You don't, but the reality is you couldn't probably do that much damage to a man. So if you do go nuts and attack him as long as he isn't in real danger you'll be fine. This is really based on what I've read and that people say
Yes its stupid logic. I'm almost 5'10 and weight train...so I could probably mess up a short, skinny guy actually.
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