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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 10-01-2013, 02:35 PM
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Originally Posted by oink View Post
Do you mind saying that out loud....one more time please?

I'll hate to think what this geezer would have done, had it been his hockey card collection, or a scratch on his F-150 /250/doge ram truck (if he drove one)

My EX shoved me against the wall for not wanting to stand there and engaged her, she also threw things at me a couple of times

I am not the swearing, naming calling or arguing with a spouse type...NEVER believe it or not. I grew up watching my dad bite his tongue at my mom (they are still married 50+ yrs later)
Wow sounds familiar.
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Old 10-01-2013, 02:35 PM
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Originally Posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
Agreed.

On the day of my separation, my ex wouldn't let me leave until she had finished screaming. She dug her nails into my forearms hard enough to make me bleed. When I struggled free she did a classic soccer dive and fell to the floor. My kids only saw her fall, my son did see the blood. I think she was baiting me into more violence so she could get exclusive posession.

But I was always the calm placid one, and she was the hot tempered one, so even under pain, I didn't strike back.
That really makes them mad doesn't it.
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Old 10-01-2013, 02:42 PM
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NOTE: contrary to what some namby-pamby oik on here might think, I love women (I have 2 sister after all), and condone any violence towards them or anyone
Agreed, in fact nobody should be harming anyone, male or female - zero tolerance! If a person drives you so hoppin' mad that you need to lash out, go take a walk, cold shower, call a friend or better yet just leave the property and come back later.
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Old 10-01-2013, 02:43 PM
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Agreed, in fact nobody should be harming anyone, male or female - zero tolerance! If a person drives you so hoppin' mad that you need to lash out, go take a walk, cold shower, call a friend or better yet just leave the property and come back later.
That behaviour drove my ex crazy, I would leave if I couldn't take it and she wasn't done venting her anger.
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Old 10-01-2013, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
. My ex's quality of life is his own problem but if a having a better life would make him less angry and therefore a better parent, I hope that's what he finds. Personally, divorce was the best decision I ever made. I probably should have done it a lot sooner than I did but its all worked out wonderfully so I'm thankful.
Very wise of you to think that way - especially when children are involved. A peaceful, happy parent is all that kids want and need, not money, toys, activities etc.
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Old 10-01-2013, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
Agreed.

On the day of my separation, my ex wouldn't let me leave until she had finished screaming. She dug her nails into my forearms hard enough to make me bleed. When I struggled free she did a classic soccer dive and fell to the floor. My kids only saw her fall, my son did see the blood. I think she was baiting me into more violence so she could get exclusive posession.

But I was always the calm placid one, and she was the hot tempered one, so even under pain, I didn't strike back.
It's hell sometimes ... on the day/night of our separation, I tried to leave the house and thanks to my neighbors help was taken to ER for 2 days. I did end up with exclusive posesion of the MH and criminal charges pressed but there was NO baiting involved ... I would have avoided this nightmare if possible.
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Old 10-01-2013, 03:40 PM
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That's really terrible - good for you for getting out of it, and good for your neighbours for not just standing by.

I don't believe anyone can be "baited" into acts of physical violence. You either have self-control or you don't - and if you don't, you better get some because you are not a civilized human being.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
It's hell sometimes ... on the day/night of our separation, I tried to leave the house and thanks to my neighbors help was taken to ER for 2 days. I did end up with exclusive posesion of the MH and criminal charges pressed but there was NO baiting involved ... I would have avoided this nightmare if possible.
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Old 10-01-2013, 03:41 PM
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Oink is right! Oink is right! Oink is so totally, totally right!


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Originally Posted by oink View Post
do you mind saying that out loud....one more time please? :d
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Old 10-01-2013, 05:08 PM
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Originally Posted by stripes View Post
That's really terrible - good for you for getting out of it, and good for your neighbours for not just standing by.

I don't believe anyone can be "baited" into acts of physical violence. You either have self-control or you don't - and if you don't, you better get some because you are not a civilized human being.
My ex spat in my face and threw a cup of juice at that point I already knew she was crazy so it was easy to just get up and walk away without even answering.
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Old 10-01-2013, 05:26 PM
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Originally Posted by stripes View Post
That's really terrible - good for you for getting out of it, and good for your neighbours for not just standing by.

I don't believe anyone can be "baited" into acts of physical violence. You either have self-control or you don't - and if you don't, you better get some because you are not a civilized human being.
My example was certainly not an extreme one, but physical violence can beget physical violence. In the extreme, think of the battered women who end up attacking their husbands, I think there is ample cause to think they would not have done so had they not been abused, albeit over a long period of time.

In my case it wasn't an isolated incident, but I never felt in fear for my life or my person. The worst that would happen is that she would try to block me or wrestle me into not leaving(when I felt the need to get away and think things over and cool down). Drawing blood was an escalation. and it was clear after that point that I would never give the opportunity to do anything like that again.
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