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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 10-01-2013, 12:48 AM
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Default Divorce makes me sick!

8 Surprising Ways Divorce Affects Your Health|Shape Magazine

Just a little reminder that we should all take better care of ourselves. The divorce process really takes a toll on our health - according to this little article, there are several 'symptoms' associated with the stress of breaking-up.

Personally, my appetite has all but vanished, and since the separation I get by on 3-5 hours of sleep per day ....
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Old 10-01-2013, 01:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
8 Surprising Ways Divorce Affects Your Health|Shape Magazine

Just a little reminder that we should all take better care of ourselves. The divorce process really takes a toll on our health - according to this little article, there are several 'symptoms' associated with the stress of breaking-up.

Personally, my appetite has all but vanished, and since the separation I get by on 3-5 hours of sleep per day ....
My divorce was in the mid 80s, I lost 30 lbs in 2 months I believe.

My wife left me for my neighbour, called the cops on me because I wouldn't leave the home, I was put in jail pending bail because my wife claimed I threw a saucer at her (which I did only after she ruined my stamp collection). I ended up in jail for a month, she moved in with the guy, I couldn't see my kids because of court orders and other matters, lost my job, it was a mess!

In the end I realized that my ex used the criminal justice system against me simply to justify her cheating, get me out of the home and make the family proceedings easier on her than me. Thing is, it didn't really. I did pretty well in the end.

I was miserable for a long time, my kids thank God came to realize as they got older what really happened as they went through their own difficulties in relationships.

Today my wife and the guy are no longer together, in fact she is miserable and i couldn't care less. I am happily remarried, healthy with great grandkids! So things do get better. Remember the cliche, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"...it's absolutely true.
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Old 10-01-2013, 01:25 AM
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wouldn't it be nice to walk into a court room knowing your going to see you kids 50% of the time

AND

kids will love it - its in "their best interest"

win win
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Old 10-01-2013, 01:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Gordy View Post

Today my wife and the guy are no longer together, in fact she is miserable and i couldn't care less. I am happily remarried, healthy with great grandkids! So things do get better. Remember the cliche, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"...it's absolutely true.
Good for you! I don't know about the cliche, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" I'll let you know once all this is over ...
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Old 10-01-2013, 01:50 AM
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wouldn't it be nice to walk into a court room knowing your going to see you kids 50% of the time

AND

kids will love it - its in "their best interest"

win win
At this point in time, I would be happy just to be able to walk into a court room, it's been 18 months and I'm still waiting ... best interest? the legal system is an industry and the interest's are for those who work there - not us, not our children - yes I'm jaded.
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Old 10-01-2013, 10:46 AM
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Just a little reminder that we should all take better care of ourselves. The divorce process really takes a toll on our health - according to this little article, there are several 'symptoms' associated with the stress of breaking-up.
I really was not feeling very well during my long in-home separation. No sleep, major appetite issues and nausea..I was paranoid and worried unnecessarily about my children, and my vitamin deficiencies were out of control. Mostly because I was literally scared being in the house with my ex and he was following me when I left. Sleeping was tough. And he started trashing the house to stall the sale and make me stay there longer.. Most times, I'd just leave his crap but because we were trying to sell, it made my daily life pretty rough. Everytime we had someone coming to look at the house, I had to spend a day or two getting it ready. I was very lucky that the house sold quickly.

My bf ended up insisting on renting an apartment nearby for me to use anytime I didn't have the kids and could get away and that helped some.

But once I finally was able to sell the house and moved into my own place, it was amazing how quickly things changed. Just to sleep a whole night was wonderful. Juicing, weight training (kettlebells ftw!) and meditation help a lot too.

I really think the laws need to change to allow people to move out of their marital homes during the separation process...particularly since it can take ages just to get to the CC stage in family court. I think the current system creates unnecessary potential drama...ie fake and real DV issues, etc.

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I ended up in jail for a month, she moved in with the guy, I couldn't see my kids because of court orders and other matters, lost my job, it was a mess!
Horrible, I can't even imagine being in jail for a month and I can't imagine not seeing my kids for a month.

Quote:
Today my wife and the guy are no longer together, in fact she is miserable and i couldn't care less. I am happily remarried, healthy with great grandkids! So things do get better. Remember the cliche, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"...it's absolutely true.
Very, very true. My ex's quality of life is his own problem but if a having a better life would make him less angry and therefore a better parent, I hope that's what he finds. Personally, divorce was the best decision I ever made. I probably should have done it a lot sooner than I did but its all worked out wonderfully so I'm thankful.
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Old 10-01-2013, 10:49 AM
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Quote:
I really think the laws need to change to allow people to move out of their marital homes during the separation process...particularly since it can take ages just to get to the CC stage in family court. I think the current system creates unnecessary potential drama...ie fake and real DV issues, etc.
This is what it is like in Quebec unfortunately the costs are exponential but I do think it is for the better.
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Old 10-01-2013, 11:19 AM
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best interest? the legal system is an industry and the interest's are for those who work there - not us, not our children - yes I'm jaded.
NO... you are not jaded.

I've said in other posts that "in the best interests of the children" is the most hollow mantra in the family law system.

What the 3 years of acrimony did to my kids is inexcusable.... all the lawyers did was drag it out and extract money.
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Old 10-01-2013, 11:45 AM
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Never thought I'd say it, but - you're right, Oink. From the description here, this guy's ex didn't "use the criminal justice system against him", he used it against himself by assaulting her. No matter what the provocation, once you cross the line into physical violence, whatever consequences you may suffer you've brought on yourself. And because of a *stamp collection*???


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Am suprised it was only a month. I don't know you, I wasn't there, but based on your story and version of events.....YOU SHOULD HAVE GOT A HARSHER PUNISHMENT!

Nobody condones hitting anyone, let alone a woman, and to throw a saucer at her? You think some of us guys on here haven't had worse said or done to us?

She baited you big time, and you fell for it...shame it impacted your kids too. Oh, and your neighbour got to BANG your wife (ex), and probably did it in your bed and in your house that you paid for/were paying for...salt to injury

NOTE: contrary to what some namby-pamby oik on here might think, I love women (I have 2 sister after all), and condone any violence towards them or anyone
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Old 10-01-2013, 12:00 PM
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Agreed.

On the day of my separation, my ex wouldn't let me leave until she had finished screaming. She dug her nails into my forearms hard enough to make me bleed. When I struggled free she did a classic soccer dive and fell to the floor. My kids only saw her fall, my son did see the blood. I think she was baiting me into more violence so she could get exclusive posession.

But I was always the calm placid one, and she was the hot tempered one, so even under pain, I didn't strike back.
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