Dazed and Confused!

[confusedguy]

Hi everyone,

After reading many of your stories, I think it's time for me to tell you mine. I was with my ex for 6 great years, I am a 35 year old male with a 4 year old daughter. As for every couple, we had our up and downs.

We use to do everything togheter: Camping, day trips, going to Tremblant, Montreal, quebec city, pubs, restaurants... the GOOD life!

Then suddenly, she started comming in later from work, texting way too often, ... stange stuff. She asked me to go to cancun (Hu-HO) with a friend of hers from work... I did see the plane ticket and it was with her friend. She called several times from there stating she missed and loved me.

I found an email that explained the day she came back... THE WORST HAD HAPPENED! She slept with a guy twice over there and she wanted to see him again. 3 weeks later, she needed to go to saskatoon to see him, I had to keep our daughter here... I was heartbroken. I was always faithfull.

I feel so betrayed. Now the house is for sale ans she just does not seem to care one bit.

Can someone explain this??????
Confused!

[staysingle]

Whats going on with your daughter?

[dinkyface]

I know this won't make any sense to you, and might seem like a cruel comment, but .... YOU ARE SO LUCKY! I mean, she is making it easy for you to guarantee that you are in your daughter's life. Your daughter is your #1 priority - your wife is a F*ck-up, she just wrote herself out. It must be hard for your daughter though...

[confusedguy]

Everyday is a battle, we will have 50/50 of daughter... I am really finding this hard to accept. I can't believe what I have is all gone...

[SanityforHire]

Similar story after eleven years of marriage and three children, though it was our neigbour she was in love with. It hurts. The sense of betrayal and lack of understanding by others was intense. I survived it with help from others. Shared parenting worked pretty well for a long time. Stay strong.

[confusedguy]

I mean we had a great life!!! how on earth am I gonna trust anyone again?

Can't wait until this pain goes away. How long did it take for you guys?

[billm]

13 year marriage - it took me about 4 months to feel really good again after separation, after 6 months I started dating. We did struggle off and on living together for over a year before actual separation which was a rough time, so that helped prepare me.

Now 4 years later, I still wish it had not happened, yet at the same time, I have no interest in a relationship with her, its over and I am happy.

I still don't understand why this was better for her from her point of view. It was a great marriage in my mind.

[confusedguy]

But Bill, I am a 35 year old guy with 50% custody of a 4 year old... Where will I ever find that special someone?

[dinkyface]

They are out there!

I found mine when my child was less than 1yr - but I only have 35-65 (EOW and Weds overnights), not 50-50. I was almost 50 at the time.

There's a good chance you will meet someone with their own young kid(s) and their own ex (how would YOU feel about that?) Gets very complicated!!

[billm]

Originally Posted by confusedguy

But Bill, I am a 35 year old guy with 50% custody of a 4 year old... Where will I ever find that special someone?

On line of course!

I am 44, 3 kids 50% of the time, and I have no problems.

Also, initially the concept of merging families/kids/lives seemed impossible, but after dating some women with kids, I can see that that will not be a problem, in fact it is a good thing - more the merrier!

You have most of your adult life ahead of you - you can still find the love of your life, or at least have fun trying!