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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-26-2013, 08:30 PM
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Arabian, I truly do feel sorry for you and everything you have to deal with... I just have never understood why people have to get involved in other people's drama (for a lack of a better word)... this is most likely the reason, most of my friends are way older than me, I hated high school and all the drama that came with it and the more I think about it, there was a reason the majority of my friends were males... they have soo much less drama than females.

I can admit, it has not been easy all the time, she has pulled some fast ones (calling cops and such), but I have to remember she is ALWAYS going to be around... why would I want to create a hostile environment that I will have to deal with for years? There have been a handful of times where I have had to tell my partner to shut up and stop talking like that, when he would rant about his ex. Personally, I don't care what happened during their relationship or what she use to do... for the longest time, EVERY TIME we visited his family, I had to hear about how horrible this woman was, how she failed as a mother and a wife... I repeatedly told bf how much it bothered me...I don't know if they did it because they thought I wanted to hear it, but honestly, I couldn't care less. I remember the day I told his family to shut up...the look on their faces was sheer shock. I just kind of lost it on them and told them that I don't care how the felt about her, what happened or what they speculated about her, it was not going to change the fact that she is the children's mother and that I came to visit to visit with them, not constantly hear about her... if they didn't like her fine, they don't have to deal with her, but I was going to be dealing with her for years to come so I made the decision to be civil, not an ass.

Unfortunately a lot of people thrive on drama...
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Old 01-26-2013, 09:18 PM
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Thank you BF. Hopefully you won't have to hear about the ex anymore. How terrible for you. They probably just thought you wanted to hear bad things about her. They don't realize that it is a poor reflection on the family. I know I would think long and hard before I got involved with someone who's family members spend their social time focusing on the faults of the ex. I mean, really, the ex is just that - the "ex."

My brother was divorced at a young age. My parents treated his ex like gold right up until they died. They didn't pass judgement on the breakup and all I ever heard was that they were sorry the marriage ended and that they wouldn't treat their former daughter-in-law any different than they had before. This might explain why, to this day, my brother's ex wife is his very best friend. My former sister-in-law went on to get remarried and to this day my brother spends Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving with his ex and her husband. My nephew was given the option to live with either his mother or his father. He turned out to be a very responsible, kind young man. My ex and I used to remark on how civilized their whole divorce was. Now that I've been through divorce I'm even more amazed than ever at my brother and his ex!
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Old 01-26-2013, 10:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Unfortunately a lot of people thrive on drama...
Yep. And they love being in the middle of it, or better yet, the cause of it. It's all about power and control. They need to bring someone else down to make themselves feel good. They can't get their self-esteem any other way. They can't just be pretty, they have to be prettier than some chosen rival. Not just successful, but more successful than that other person. And it has to be done over and over again, for confirmation, or it might not stay true. Even if they have to engineer the situation.
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Old 01-26-2013, 10:43 PM
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Rioe - you described the ex's g/f quite well. Uncanny!
I find your comments to be very interesting as I had never really thought of her this way.
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Old 01-26-2013, 11:03 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Rioe - you described the ex's g/f quite well. Uncanny!
I find your comments to be very interesting as I had never really thought of her this way.
I'm sure Tayken can come along and put a clinical name to it. Then you can do lots of research!
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Old 01-26-2013, 11:16 PM
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inferiority complexn. A persistent sense of inadequacy or the tendency to diminish oneself, sometimes resulting in excessively aggressive behavior through overcompensation.
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Old 01-29-2013, 12:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by firhill View Post
D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

Our little dog is six years old, and he`s smart as any damn kid.
But when you mention the V.E.T. he damn near flips his lid.
Words like S.H.O.T. shot or W.O.R.M. worm,
These are words which make him S.Q.U.I.R.M. squirm.

His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E starts today,
Because he bit the V.E.T. and then he ran away.
He caused me and my wife to have a big fight, and then, both of them bit me.
And that`s why I am gonna get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

She shouted `get him Rover,` and he jumped over, and bit my L.E.G.
She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and called me an effin` C.
Well I`m telling you, that was my cue, to get O.F.F.-ski
And I`m going down to the town tonight to get a new B.I.R.D.

Oh yes his Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E starts today.
Both my wife and my wee scabby dog will soon be hauled away.
That`s why I spell out all these words, so as my dog can`t hear.
Oh I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.E.R. queer.
Firhill, I thought that parody was pretty funny. Made me laugh.
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