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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 10-06-2016, 03:04 PM
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Default Coping tips?

Anybody have any tips to keep their mind off all the BS involved with divorce?

It keeps me pretty stressed, to the point where I get random fevers etc.

I really have quite a mess on my hands, and a long road ahead of me.

Anyway, just looking for any tips and tricks that people use. For now it is one day at a time for me.

Thanks
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Old 10-06-2016, 03:40 PM
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^^ Yes. Get out there and do some volunteer work, find a new hobby that makes for a change from your normal usual routine.

Go for walks / runs. An idle mind obviously will lead to more of what you are currently experiencing. Some people rush into another relationship / dating because "they are afraid of being alone"
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Old 10-06-2016, 05:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hopefull View Post
Some people rush into another relationship / dating because "they are afraid of being alone"
Agreed, I kind of have someone in mind already but plan to take it REALLY slow, if at all. Friends for now.
It is very refreshing to have someone to talk to that actually has common sense.

Activity and diet are 2 things I need to focus on more!
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Old 10-06-2016, 11:26 PM
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Coping tips would be great. It's very stressful and it's too the point it consumes you sometimes. I just keep recycling everything that happened, and go over it in my mind again and again
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Old 10-07-2016, 12:42 AM
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Pretend you are going to war, strategize every detail and focus on that. It will keep your busy.

Pretend you are trying to prevent a hostile corporate takeover that wants to layoff your workers and replaces them with low wage employees from a 3rd world country.

Family court is one of the most evil institutions in the country and you are the prey.
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Old 10-07-2016, 12:51 AM
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volunteer somewhere (if you like animals offer to work for fundraising events). Change your schedule up. Bowling one night, movie another night, swimming another day, golfing. Keep busy in an environment where you can meet new friends. I wish I would have taken my own advice. Instead I ended up becoming obsessive about cleaning and that's the worse thing because you end of thinking of things over and over. Distraction is the key I think. Boys and Girls clubs are always looking for volunteers. Offer to drive food to homes for the needy.
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Old 10-07-2016, 08:50 AM
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What is wrong with that; do you happen to have an iPhone/iPad, electronics in your home and drive a foreign car?

The world is becoming smaller by the year, and investors are in business to make profit

Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
Pretend you are going to war, strategize every detail and focus on that. It will keep your busy.

Pretend you are trying to prevent a hostile corporate takeover that wants to layoff your workers and replaces them with low wage employees from a 3rd world country.

Family court is one of the most evil institutions in the country and you are the prey.
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Old 10-07-2016, 09:45 AM
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Thanks for the tips. Definitely need to get more active and socialize more often!
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Old 10-07-2016, 10:19 AM
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Volunteering and exercise are two things that are never a bad use of your time. If you volunteer for lots of different events you'll see all different sides of your community; if you stick with one main volunteer activity you'll meet some new people who have nothing to do with your old (pre-divorce) life. Exercise: even if you don't want to do it, get out and do it anyway. This doesn't have to mean joining a gym or going to classes: I started biking everywhere, even in winter, and I think it saved my sanity during a few stressful times. Plus, you get to look at your newly fit self in the mirror and think "hmm, not too bad!".
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Old 10-07-2016, 10:29 AM
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Get through your divorce before you jump into another relationship. Yes there are understanding, patient and loving women out there but it does wear them down. Plus, a new relationship will give an unreasonable ex more fuel for their bs. Exercise, socializing etc are all good. My partner wasnt allowed to do a lot of the stuff he enjoyed while married and Ive encouraged him to embrace these things. He likes outdoor activities and he finds peace doing things he loves.

All that said, you will still have stress, unhappiness, hurt and anger. It will wear you down. Try to remember in the grand scheme of your life, this is but a minor moment. You will survive. If necessary, speak to a medical professional and make sure your health is good. Heart attacks, strokes and other ailments do hit people with heavy stress. You may also make unhealthy choices like drinking, drugs, tobacco etc. try to remember the harm these have on your body. You want your kids to have their dad around
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