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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 11-01-2010, 03:36 PM
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Default Can you believe this?

A bit of background first. My ex wrote my mother an email asking for money last week although she literally makes over 3X what I make. Not only that, she decided in poor taste to trash me to my mother. My mother took the high road and de-constructed my ex's view with some personal anecdotes of her own. All in an extremely professional and educated manner, which is who she is.


I am sure there are worse stories, but I just received a copy of an email my ex wrote to my mother and brother. No class, whatsoever.

Hello .... and ....,



I have heard what you have said and think about me. Whatever, I take it that is a no to whether you want the photos of the kids or not. It also demonstrates you are just as immature as baldclub, do you honestly think I care your thoughts on me? Not one bit really. That being said, your grandchildren cannot leave Canada without my permission until they are 16 years old or obtain an Italian passport without my permission.


I guess you'll only be seeing them if you come to Canada and baldclub happens to have them at that time until they are 16 years of age or baldclub obtains a court order which I will respect. (As a court order will ensure they return)



........., border services have been made aware.



With regards,

..... .......



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Old 11-01-2010, 03:38 PM
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My brother's response to my ex:

Dear ...., thanks for your mail, albeit not a pleasant one, as I expected.
I must correct you though: you don't know what I think since, for various reasons, I haven't spoken my mind nor had the chance to answer.
For now all I can say is I find it sad you have to take things to extremes. Saying we don't care about the kids is quite a statement, considering everything. Just because you write it though doesn't make it true.
I will write you as soon as I get a chance. In the meanwhile, you could forward what you want to send to my brother(s) and they can pass it to me.

.....
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Old 11-01-2010, 03:41 PM
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My mother's response, to me:

I am at the end of my tether and good manners. I have no idea where she gets this rubbish from but I wish to stay out of the diatribe unless I have a direct say! Were I to appear in a court of law to state my piece, I’d uncover her inconsistencies and trumped up accusations, with grace, clarity and aplomb! Intelligence and culture come in handy in these cases.
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Old 11-01-2010, 03:45 PM
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Does she know that she cannot unreasonably withhold her consent to travel? As if she does, she can be hit with costs and damages incurred in connection with the trip.

Edit - Also, from now on you tell your family to not respond to your ex. They are not parties to the proceedings and have no place responding or otherwise getting involved unless specifically requested to in court.

All that they can do is say things you may not want said and/or create issues you would otherwise have control over. All communication between your family and your ex should be through you. Unless she is providing them with pictures of the kids she should not be contacting them directly. And even then, if she wants pictures of the kids distributed to your family, she can send them to you for you circulate. It isn't her job to do anything otherwise.

Last edited by HammerDad; 11-01-2010 at 03:48 PM.
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Old 11-01-2010, 04:07 PM
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What people may have believed to be a totally rational woman is so irrational right now that I think her confusion is very dangerous. Kids in tears, I now will send them to counselling, she called me 39x Saturday till 4:14 am.

My family knows to keep it cool, and honestly my ex' email trail leads once again to clear evidence that she has absolutely no reasonable grounds to withhold her consent.
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Old 11-01-2010, 04:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
my ex' email trail leads once again to clear evidence that she has absolutely no reasonable grounds to withhold her consent.
I think she just gave you a nice golden apple in that email should you ever need to take her to court to obtain her consent. But what you need to also do is keep your family out of the picture so they don't give her an apple in return by telling her what they really feel of her, thus giving her reasonable grounds to refuse consent as she has proof that your family may make disparaging comments about her.

Yeah, she is a nutjob. But she is your NJ....I'd keep it safe and tell your family not to respond to anything she sends. Further, any email or text etc. is to be forwarded to you for you to deal with.
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Old 11-01-2010, 04:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baldclub View Post
...she called me 39x Saturday till 4:14 am.
That's attractive. Not only is that a few more than a few, it's not exactly business hours is it?
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Old 11-01-2010, 04:33 PM
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WOW!
All I can say is, don't engage her and KEEP THAT EMAIL! If you can somehow document the # of times she called in a 24 hour period, then do it. Photo of call display?
What a nut-job!
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Old 11-01-2010, 04:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
I think she just gave you a nice golden apple in that email should you ever need to take her to court to obtain her consent. But what you need to also do is keep your family out of the picture so they don't give her an apple in return
Nope, they are all pretty smart about this, one brother is a cop and my mother has proven to be well adept at staying correct. Thanks for the advice though.
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Old 11-01-2010, 04:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
WOW!
All I can say is, don't engage her and KEEP THAT EMAIL! If you can somehow document the # of times she called in a 24 hour period, then do it. Photo of call display?
What a nut-job!
Locked calls on phone, then of course paper phone bill.
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