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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 10-13-2010, 11:17 AM
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Default bullying - my vent for the day.

This is my vent for the day.

My ex thinks that he can have his cake and eat it too and since I have no desire to spend all of my equity going to court and fighting him I am agreeing to things that I should not be agreeing to just to get this over and done with.

I am agreeing to not take an equalization of his pension in exchange for spousal support waiver. Nope he says, not waiving that right. So, when I say, well I guess I'll take the equalization then, he says that he won't sign the agreement. Seriously, I thought we were negotiating!!! So now I'm not taking an equalization and he's not waiving his right to seek spousal support?

He played the same game with the parenting plan and child support so now, we have a parenting plan which I dearly hopes he lives up to for the kids and if he doesn't then I will at some point have to take him to court.

I have moved out of the house and am renting while my equity is tied up in a house I no longer live in because he refused to accept either of the two offerers we received.

I get to deal with the emotional distress of our kids who were used to me parenting them most of the time and him being absent much of the time.

Where is the equality, negotiation and fairness? Why must I be the one to give all the time? Somedays I would really like to tell him what I really think of him and his behaviour. AND, I wish I had oodles of cash to take him to court RIGHT NOW.

Thanks - I feel better now. I'll feel even better after spin class later
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Old 10-13-2010, 11:54 AM
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Hope you feel better about venting. It does help. Im very much in the same sort of situation with my ex. It's about winning and controlling. And the threats are just ridiculous that I now just laugh at them.
Know you are not the only one going thru this.
Oh if I could only give HIM a piece of my mind.... but I refrain cause honestly it's not worth it.
His true self will show thru once all is said and done and I will wait till then!
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Old 10-13-2010, 12:03 PM
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Broken record:

The only remedy is to continue to push towards trial.
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Old 10-13-2010, 12:13 PM
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Talking

So here is a really good story that totally supports the "just wait .... karma's a bitch" theory:

Husband cheats and gets his much younger girlfriend pregnant. So he leaves his wife and three children and moves in with gf. He hides money, claims poverty, empties house, blah blah blah - all that bull.

Fast forward a couple of years ... husband and gf (now wife) and new baby are living happily ....

Now ... new wife has an affair with his grown daughter's boyfriend - husband finds out - flips out - lands himself in jail! Restraining orders in place.

So the final picture looks like this ... First wife is just fine! Second wife is living with the daughter's boyfriend in husbands' house! And husband sleeping on Grandparent's couch

Just makes me giggle a little. And I don't care if it was the scum bag husband or the scum bag wife! After playing games that hurt people - it's nice to see them get played a little themselves.
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Old 10-13-2010, 12:20 PM
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Poster broken record? Or was that a hit to me as well? LOL

Last edited by tugofwar; 10-13-2010 at 12:22 PM.
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Old 10-13-2010, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeepSmiling View Post
So here is a really good story that totally supports the "just wait .... karma's a bitch" theory:

Husband cheats and gets his much younger girlfriend pregnant. So he leaves his wife and three children and moves in with gf. He hides money, claims poverty, empties house, blah blah blah - all that bull.

Fast forward a couple of years ... husband and gf (now wife) and new baby are living happily ....

Now ... new wife has an affair with his grown daughter's boyfriend - husband finds out - flips out - lands himself in jail! Restraining orders in place.

So the final picture looks like this ... First wife is just fine! Second wife is living with the daughter's boyfriend in husbands' house! And husband sleeping on Grandparent's couch

Just makes me giggle a little. And I don't care if it was the scum bag husband or the scum bag wife! After playing games that hurt people - it's nice to see them get played a little themselves.
Too bad about the grown up daughter.
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Old 10-13-2010, 12:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tugofwar View Post
Poster broken record? Or was that a hit to me as well? LOL
Keep it...coming love,
Don't stop it now, don't stop it now...

YouTube - K C & The Sunshine Band === Keep It Comin' Love

...or maybe it's "keep it common law", take a listen you decide.

Last edited by dadtotheend; 10-13-2010 at 12:34 PM.
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Old 10-13-2010, 12:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
Too bad about the grown up daughter.

Daughter moved back in with her mother and they are moving forward and doing a good job a patching up a diffcult relationship ... seems common ground brought them back together.
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Old 10-13-2010, 01:29 PM
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DTTE: broken record - yup. Does seem that same issues keep coming back time and again, sometimes despite best efforts. Posts from this forum clearly show that trial isn't a walk in the park though and that you may end up with an agreement that closely mirrors what you started with only you've spent $100k. I'm going to sign an agreement and hope that my soon to be exes bullying is just hot air. I just needed to vent because I was getting some seriously aggravating emails that in retrospect I should have ignored.

Thanks
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Old 10-13-2010, 02:01 PM
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Meh...if one side is bound and determined to be difficult, your choices boil down to push for trial, or give in and agree.

If you go down the road to trial, especially with 2 reasonable offers having been on the table...ask for costs.
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