Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce Support

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2013, 02:49 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,810
Pursuinghappiness will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
I think that is the BEST/most neutral major societal change to make but I seriously doubt wage earners will get married anymore.
People will continue to get married. While the contractual obligations of the current way we practice marriage may need modification...the formalizing of pair bonding arrangements will always be a human reality.

People have been formalizing pair bonding arrangements since the dawn of time.
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2013, 02:55 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,968
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

While channel surfing last night I happened upon a reality show where people competed in putting on the best wedding.

Weddings/marriage is big business. I believe it will increase if anything.

I admire people who stay married and committed to each other. I wish I had a daughter to go through the mother-of-the bride with. Sigh.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2013, 02:57 PM
Hand of Justice
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the Shadows
Posts: 3,146
Links17 is on a distinguished road
Default

I agree people will "pairbond" but I don't think they'll compromise themselves the way marriage does to higher wage earners.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2013, 03:09 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,810
Pursuinghappiness will become famous soon enough
Default

There are men on this forum that have been through divorces, are paying SS and have remarried (there might be women too...not sure). My new partner is paying SS (lots of it) to his ex and wants to remarry. He thinks she deserves it and has no problem paying it.

Not being willing to marry can seriously limit the ability to meet and form long-term relationships with people. I know very few women, myself included, who would bother entering into a relationship with a guy who wouldn't consider marriage as an option.

Not all men are like you or think like you Links. And not all people come out of divorced scarred, angry and bitter like you are. Some still believe in the concept of marriage with the right person.
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2013, 03:10 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,968
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Links you are cynical because of your perception of your own situation. Many people do indeed remarry even after a rough divorce. I know many people who have found happiness in their second marriage and they are indeed wealthy.
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2013, 03:17 PM
Hand of Justice
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the Shadows
Posts: 3,146
Links17 is on a distinguished road
Default

Not really my own situation, its the law really that is the problem for me.

PH, you brought your wonderful amazing husband up again and so I'm gonna ask if you don't mind the following

1. Did he leave her or cheat on her or in some other way end the marriage, or was it "agreed" upon or did she leave him?

2. Lets talk #s, how much does ur ex earn?
how much does he pay in SS?
how much is left over?
Does he have other income (investments etc...)

Don't answer if you don't want, I'm just curious as to how somebody can really be happy paying LOTS (all relative)of money to support some other person's lifestyle.
____________

I'm not saying I wouldn't remarry, but it isn't going to be a relationship just because I think somebody is great.

I'm going to tell myself there is 50% chance we get divorced what would happen then? ideally, I won't live life one foot in/one foot out but I will make that evaluation at the start.
___________
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2013, 03:20 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,968
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Links you gotta find yourself a sugar momma.
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2013, 03:26 PM
Hand of Justice
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the Shadows
Posts: 3,146
Links17 is on a distinguished road
Default

That's insulting... I wasn't given my incredible intelligence, good looks and skills to be somebody's pet
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2013, 03:42 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,810
Pursuinghappiness will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
1. Did he leave her or cheat on her or in some other way end the marriage, or was it "agreed" upon or did she leave him?
I assume you mean my new partner? I have a limited point of view since I only have his side of the story but it sounds like she was a bit of a tyrant with nagging, criticizing, she spent a lot of money (10-13k in CC bills each month) and they were very emotionally distant. He tried years of counselling...moved out twice and finally when he realized it wasn't going to change, he requested a divorce. He would have never cheated on her, he's not that type of guy. In fact, today...I wouldn't say they're friends but they're cordial and we can attend events all together and enjoying talking to each other.

She's a nurse but stayed home to raise their children and he thinks she deserves SS for her contributions to their home and children. From what he explained to me, he mediated a higher sum than she would have gotten going to court because he considered it fair and wanted their children to know that he was doing the right thing.

Quote:
2. Lets talk #s, how much does ur ex earn?
how much does he pay in SS?
how much is left over?
Does he have other income (investments etc...)
My specific agreement isn't done because my ex won't willingly disclose. From what I know, he should have lots of money. But I have no idea exactly how much he earns (he won't turn over a paycheck), how much he has left, or what he did with the hundreds of thousands of dollars missing from our investment accounts. I do know that he seems to spend money well. He lives in a large 4-5 bedroom house in a very nice part of town.

Quote:
Don't answer if you don't want, I'm just curious as to how somebody can really be happy paying LOTS (all relative)of money to support some other person's lifestyle.
I assume my new partner is happy for a number of reasons including: 1) Money isn't an issue for him. He isn't a financially extravagant guy. I buy him more stuff than he buys for himself. Plus, his SS is far cheaper than the credit card bills his ex used to rack up monthly. 2) He's in an emotionally stable relationship and we enjoy each other's company and 3) He's got happy, great kids.

I don't think he sees it as supporting her lifestyle. From what he's explained, he sees the SS as payment for what her career suffered while she was raising their kids and taking care of the household. He was able to get another a 2nd degree, pursue a business, excel at his career and will be able to retire early due to her contributions. She didn't get any of those opportunities.

Again Links...not everyone thinks like you.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2013, 03:48 PM
Hand of Justice
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the Shadows
Posts: 3,146
Links17 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
2. Lets talk #s, how much does ur ex earn?
how much does he pay in SS?
how much is left over?
Does he have other income (investments etc...)
Sorry this was in reference to your new partner.

Your partner's ex works right?
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
annoying spam Foredeck General Chat 3 11-24-2009 10:28 PM
Oh how annoying Kimberley Divorce & Family Law 13 09-12-2008 07:28 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:24 PM.