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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 07-26-2008, 04:31 PM
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Default Advice for all of you in the midst of it!

I want to give everyone here some sound advice that I wish someone had given me almost two years ago!

During the course of all of my separation, selling of assets, custody issues etc etc etc, I have been inundated with extremely nasty letters from my X's different lawyers. These took a huge toll on me, and more importantly my new partner. It hurt our relationship, and it hurt her relationship with my children due to the accusations of poor parenting, etc. A number of months ago, I was at my lawyers and asked "Do I legally have to be informed of all of these things they are saying about us, and threatening to do?" My lawyer smirked and said "NOPE!"

From that day on, I have not heard or read anything from them, and it has been absolute bliss. My partner and I are living our life with my children, and our son, everyone gets along better every day.

What makes it most enjoyable, is that I see my X at the children's events and sports, and I begin to giggle when she scowls at me with that "I've shown and told you!" look, and I'm oblivious to it. She has spent a fortune sending all these letters to me, and I haven't a clue! ahahahaha!

Take it from me friends....live your new life with ALL of your children, focus on your new partner or life, and isolate yourself from the nonsense.

There is nothing in those letters you need to know about

I hate to say it, but it wouldn't surprise me if those same types of letters are what causes some of the violence that sadly surounds divorce.
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Old 07-28-2008, 07:36 PM
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No kidding, those letters, in addition to posturing for (the 3% chance that you will go to) trial, are schoolyard bully/intimidation tactics designed as much to scare you into submission.

Those tactics are reprehensible and the legal community ought to be ashamed of itself for pursuing them, primarily to advance it's own self interest in dividing and conquering the broken families wealth.

We spent $125K between us. I'm not bitter, but I pity the lawyers who have to make their fortunes on the garbage dump, while most of us are out there adding value in the world.
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Old 07-28-2008, 11:38 PM
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I think the whole system is corrupt. I think mediation should come first even before going to court. It would save time, money and lots of pain on the side of both parties. How come all these family support services organizations are all focused on breaking the families apart and/or kicking the fathers out of kids lives? In their evil scheme of things they forget that the same fatherless kids will some day become fathers too.
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Old 07-29-2008, 05:14 AM
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I don't think the family service organizations are bent on kicking fathers out, but there is no question that the legal system is broken, if not outright corrupt.

The people in charge of changing it aren't likely to kill the goose that made their careers though, and will make the careers of those behind them. Very sad.
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Old 07-29-2008, 06:34 PM
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Letters can be intimidating but on the other hand they can used as evidence and attached as an exhibit to an affidavit. To me its best to respond and refute whatever picture they are trying to paint.
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Old 07-29-2008, 11:57 PM
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Dont get me wrong, my lawyer responds some of the time, I'm just not aware of it, nor do I care.
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