Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce Support

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2013, 04:58 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 42
Thomas is on a distinguished road
Default 3 years and done!!

After $43,000 in legal fees(no kids!!!)
Loosing my home, my cottage, my business all my RRSPs, and being through criminal court after she assaulted me ...it was a haul.

Now I am free, but... now I deal with how it has changed me,
I am cynical, have no patience, untrusting , expect the worst.

I am stronger but now have to recapture alot of the pleasant personality traits I had to ditch in order to survive.

Good luck everyone.
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2013, 05:09 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 505
takeontheworld has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Congrats? Sounds odd. Unfortunately, some people have to go into survival mode and can bring out some unpleasant traits in us. But...heres to you getting your groove back.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2013, 05:28 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 158
Gilligan is on a distinguished road
Default

Best of luck to you... hopefully you can let that behind you and start a new chapter in your life. Things I've always kept in mind is that you shouldn't punish a future partner for the actions of a bitter ex. It's no way to live.

Good luck to you, I'm sure it wasn't easy, but this part should be much better.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2013, 05:34 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,809
Pursuinghappiness will become famous soon enough
Default

So a bad marriage and divorce took too much of your past...don't let it take your future.

Happiness is a choice and its a lot easier to choose it after a crappy marriage. You only get one life....live it well.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2013, 09:54 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,961
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Thomas - sorry to hear about all that money in the hands of other people.

Remember that you and your ex are likely different people now. Changed from who the two of you were when you married.

If you can reflect upon all the good times the two of you had, in my experience it definitely helps with moving forward. Positive energy etc.....

While my ex was and still is an ahole I certainly don't hate him. He's not worth the energy it takes to hate someone.

Move on, don't look back except to have a chuckle or two about how stupid you were in your youth.

Time does help.
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2013, 10:07 PM
wretchedotis's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: ON
Posts: 2,317
wretchedotis is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post
After $43,000 in legal fees(no kids!!!)
Loosing my home, my cottage, my business all my RRSPs, and being through criminal court after she assaulted me ...it was a haul.

Now I am free, but... now I deal with how it has changed me,
I am cynical, have no patience, untrusting , expect the worst.

I am stronger but now have to recapture alot of the pleasant personality traits I had to ditch in order to survive.

Good luck everyone.
It'll get better, I promise.

I really like 'Thomas' as a name btw.

Dunno why.... Thomas the Tank Engine comes to mind, maybe?

To me, 'Thomas' is a strong name. Similar to 'Clark'.

Does that makes sense?
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2013, 10:09 PM
Rioe's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,245
Rioe will become famous soon enough
Default

Freedom is liberating, and you will find a new you that you can be proud of.

I think it was Stripes who said that she got out of the marriage with her biggest asset untouched - earning potential. What you have lost is material. What you have gained is irreplaceable.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2013, 10:10 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,961
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

to hate is to give someone too much power over you

when you can lose the hate you will feel truly liberated
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2013, 10:33 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: GTA, ON
Posts: 537
Mother is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
So a bad marriage and divorce took too much of your past...don't let it take your future.

Happiness is a choice and its a lot easier to choose it after a crappy marriage. You only get one life....live it well.
I couldn't say it better myself!

I imagine you went through living Hell but it's over now. No matter how stupit it sounds but time heals the deepest wounds. Just please chose to be happy. It's the best you can do for yourself. It's over and it's just the beginning. You survived.

If you feel like it, come here from time to time, help others who is still travelling this route with your advise. I am sure you have tons of it and we will be very greateful for your help. We can and will support you too if needed.

Be strong! The best of luck!
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2013, 10:44 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,961
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Thomas - it would be particularly interesting to get your input on how, if you could do the process over, one could avoid paying 43k in legal fees.

The only thing I would say is to limit the amount of correspondence the lawyers get into.

What would be the biggest legal expenditure you had? (trial, correspondence, useless conferences, etc.)
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:03 PM.