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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #31 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 11:00 AM
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Thank you for your posts. They do help. As a man of few emotions I am really not handling this well. The feelings of loss and failure and hurt are overwhelming at times. Luckily my logical self takes the helm periodically and keeps me going. Reading these posts help as many of you have gone through the same thing and come out the other side better for it. I still don't see that outcome for myself but do recognize it's possible.
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 11:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laughagain View Post
Thank you for your posts. They do help. As a man of few emotions I am really not handling this well. The feelings of loss and failure and hurt are overwhelming at times. Luckily my logical self takes the helm periodically and keeps me going. Reading these posts help as many of you have gone through the same thing and come out the other side better for it. I still don't see that outcome for myself but do recognize it's possible.
I would highly recommend you read

http://www.amazon.ca/Tug-War-Verdict.../dp/1550228706

Also if your wife has an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) I would call them. They are 100% confidential. They can help with many things.

I got a 25% reduction on my lawyer fees through my EAP.
I received free counselling through my EAP.
They also sent me a complete separation package which included many books and other self help items to help get through the stress.

Second you are going to need support. I know how hard it is but you need friends to talk to. You need people there to help you, be it friends or family. Again I know how hard it is to tell the people close to you that your marriage is over but once you do the support they will provide will be immense.

Also this forum has a ton of information and is a great place to ask questions and even vent. You may not like everything you read here but "most" posters are looking to help you.

Good luck.
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  #33 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2014, 03:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laughagain View Post
...
We are both 50, fully own our residence ($700k) have no debts but do have an open line of credit if needed and some joint Credit cards as well as our own credit cards. No balances. We both have healthy RRSP's.
As already suggested by others, eliminate the joint lines of credit/credit cards. If/when things turn sour, you don't want to be on the hook.

Quote:
Originally Posted by laughagain View Post
...
One child is in University and two live at home with the youngest being 11. I have stayed at home, not working for 10 years to look after the kids. (Youngest has special needs)

She makes 100K plus. I make nothing. Prior to leaving work I was making approximately the same as her.

We would likely choose equal time with kids, she thinks she can change her work schedule to be home during 'her time' to look after our youngest so that I can find employment. I'm not convinced that I can find anything.
I'd say you have a strong case for spousal support. You really need to consult a lawyer, your own lawyer. Do it...now.
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  #34 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2014, 03:42 PM
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Originally Posted by laughagain View Post
...Do we separately lawyer up?...
You must...yes.
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