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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #61 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2010, 02:54 AM
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I haven't been on the boards for a month cause my computer was dead and then I come to read this thread tonight. Makes me want to cry!!!!

I deal with issues with clothing (quite sadly) in terms of the "other family"- they purchase clothes for the kids but they are not allowed to bring them home. Being that the children get an average of 60 days a year with their Dad/other family, this hardly seems fair - darn kids grow out of them before they go back for a visit the next time!!!

HOWEVER, this does not stop me from packing the necessary clothing my children need! Son states to me he got a spring coat for his birthday.....um, I haven't seen it and I do not send you to Dad's without one!

And THANKFULLY I have yet to hear from the second hand store brigade ...not only do my children's clothing come for there, but mine do as well!!! It helps being the president of the non profit that we get the cream of the crop at fabulous prices - I consider it a grand deal!!!

Quite frankly, what a sad sorrry state of affairs such a conversation has become. To put it in perspective, if I may, by being able to keep our clothing expenses to a minimum, I am able to provide my children with an incredibly nutritious lifestyle, which most people could not afford if they were busy putting GAP shirts on their darn kids.

Second hand store here I come........
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Old 06-28-2010, 10:00 AM
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Originally Posted by mom2three View Post
Quite frankly, what a sad sorrry state of affairs such a conversation has become. To put it in perspective, if I may, by being able to keep our clothing expenses to a minimum, I am able to provide my children with an incredibly nutritious lifestyle, which most people could not afford if they were busy putting GAP shirts on their darn kids.

Second hand store here I come........
Agreed!, if needed thank god there are second hand stores and this has been my point, but people got fixated with the whole "it's her money part" The WHOLE! family would shop there if they are on a low budget. what i was posting was in defense of the original thread because as you can see alot of people relate on the issue. I don't see how i can be called a snob for wanting the same or better looking clothing and even health. these are the things i would hope you wish your children(s) got that is better off then yourself. and i'm sure you wouldn't shop at a top of the line stores or employ spending habits and cut costs on your child's sanity so you can look better!. I read a post that stated "The money is used for there profession" which is great because she is using the money to help provide for your child. I guess me stating she doesn't WORK was an over-sight* what is next a mother that states she doesn't want to breast feed because they want to maintain their figure is a good parent! and the end of the day why wouldn't you want to pack bag regardless..!
And look You shop there as well, my ex shops there for my child and shops at all the name brand stores including leather stores. That is what I am upset about.
  #63 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2010, 11:22 AM
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My stepsons aren't allowed to bring their toothbrushes. I have to take them shopping almost every other weekend. What clothes are sent, are filthy. I can't bring myself to make them leave the new clothes we buy them with us either, as they are so excited to have something that actually fits them and is not 1.50 from second hand shops. Don't get me wrong....we use the second hand shops, however, We get stuff that actually fits them and is current. Sometimes I still pay 9.99 for a t-shirt, but its a West 49 shirt, that would cost 29.99, so they get something current instead of Bart Simpson, or Borat t-shirts that are 3 sizes to big. I swear to god......It's a joke. These boys are 14 and 12.
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Old 06-28-2010, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by CISTEAD View Post
My stepsons aren't allowed to bring their toothbrushes. I have to take them shopping almost every other weekend. What clothes are sent, are filthy. I can't bring myself to make them leave the new clothes we buy them with us either, as they are so excited to have something that actually fits them and is not 1.50 from second hand shops. Don't get me wrong....we use the second hand shops, however, We get stuff that actually fits them and is current. Sometimes I still pay 9.99 for a t-shirt, but its a West 49 shirt, that would cost 29.99, so they get something current instead of Bart Simpson, or Borat t-shirts that are 3 sizes to big. I swear to god......It's a joke. These boys are 14 and 12.

AMEN, Thank you. Everyone is stuck on the Idea that I have a problem with second hand stores.
  #65 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2010, 01:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaysneed View Post
AMEN, Thank you. Everyone is stuck on the Idea that I have a problem with second hand stores.
And this still applies....

Quote:
Can I ask the parent to whom I pay child support to provide receipts to show me how he/she spends the money?


No. By definition a person who receives child support is free to spend the money at their discretion. If you deduct money from the child support you normally pay to cover the cost of something you bought for your children, or to pay an activity fee for your children, you will still owe money as child support unless the other parent agrees to the lower payment.

Special expenses are treated differently. If your agreement or order includes special expenses you may ask to see receipts to show that the expenses have been paid.



Get over trying to control everything she does and get past the mindset that she has to justify anything to you. Do you let her dictate where YOU can shop for either yourself or the child?? I highly doubt it.

Besides, with all the money you're saving by not having to pay that coffee cup's worth (it WAS a dollar and change, now wasn't it?) of difference in daycare I'm sure you can now afford to buy the child some clothing you deem 'acceptable'.
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Old 06-28-2010, 01:42 PM
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
And this still applies....



Get over trying to control everything she does and get past the mindset that she has to justify anything to you. Do you let her dictate where YOU can shop for either yourself or the child?? I highly doubt it.

Yeah Actually she is, my income went down and she is claiming that I am not entitled to any relief because of my spending habits. So if she can question me I have every right to question her, especially I have never been in arrears.

Besides, with all the money you're saving by not having to pay that coffee cup's worth (it WAS a dollar and change, now wasn't it?) of difference in daycare I'm sure you can now afford to buy the child some clothing you deem 'acceptable'.
The whole daycare cost is imputed because she receives subsidy and was proven she never in fact paid $9.00. A lie is a lie, no one can justify a lie, even if it is a dollar. it just shows one of many lies.
  #67 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2010, 02:42 PM
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can you just get the point? You are making MOUNTAINS out of MOLEHILLS!

Start focusssing on having a good time with your kids, on not on what the mom spends!
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