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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2010, 05:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Workin View Post
They have now outgrown all of the clothes that I originally had for them.
Allow me to tell you a little secret......

Kids grow bigger over time. Even when the parents are no longer together.

Further to what Cobourg said, surely making your kids feel cosy and at home with you includes buying a modest amount of clothes that you keep at your house for alternate weekend visits. You don't need to get much since they are at the other parent's most of the time, but you will need to change out their small wardrobe seasonally now that you know the little secret.
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Old 06-20-2010, 02:24 AM
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There are gently used children clothing stores out there, one example is Once Upon A Child.
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Old 06-20-2010, 02:33 AM
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Originally Posted by enoughalready View Post
I hope there are CP's reading this and seeing how petty things are. I wonder if it was reversed how they would feel. You just want to spend the weekend with your kids and now you have to worry about whether or not your ex spouse sends them clothes or not.
When is someone ever going to just look out for the best interests of the kids and not just trying to cause more unnecessarily friction because that is what hurts the children.

I don't see the big deal here, go out get a few tee shirts, pants, pjs and have them kept at the house. Walmart is pretty cheap. Maybe take the kids there to pick out what they like..
The children might feel better knowing they have two wardrobes.... I know I would!!!!!!

Last edited by tugofwar; 06-20-2010 at 02:40 AM.
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Old 06-26-2010, 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted by tugofwar View Post
There are gently used children clothing stores out there, one example is Once Upon A Child.
Agreed! if money is really an issue, children's clothing is not costly, I am going through it as well but on the other side of the coin. I was losing my child's clothing because my daughter would request to take home her dresses, I had to buy a new dress every other weekend because we attend church, keep in mind her mother has never sent back the dresses or with clothing for her visit, no fav toy/book medications etc. only what she is wearing on her body which most of the time looks like they are from a second hand store(Which was founded via bank statement), which causes rashes and is known for carrying bed bugs so in my case i cant wait to see my daughter so i can trash the used clothing she is wearing. C'mon a good parent tends to over pack and make sure they have everthing needed. I personally call it child abuse, Neglect and under providing. i am not a lawyer and is just advising you on my current proceedings and what i did was questioned her spending habits to obtain bank statements, then i broke down all credit/debit car/gas ins/expenses etc. vs her personal income and money received from child support in doing this i can now point out that my ex uses 100% of c.s. received to cover car payment(s) and doesn't have a job. she also claimed on her form 13 that she only made 14k but on her notice of asst states $1'600 i requested bank statement dated back 3 years but she only provided 15 months which showed she made $45k and also prove she never paid for daycare and only had the provider make fake receipts or failed to disclose all accounts and credit cards. part of my sec 7 was to pay $100/mth for piano lessons bank statement shows under $900 spent in 15 months i guess i can only advise further after the next c.c. in July Wish me luck, and if you see your children in need of cloths despite paying child support just find a way and there is two sides because i know man/woman who would dress their kids up like street kids on access so the other parent can buy new cloths, again why would you want your child to even think about leaving the house looking like a bum? and it does suck seeing you cant even afford to own a car and is paying for someone else while you now take a bus when you've had a car and driving for years gage that.
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Old 06-26-2010, 11:43 AM
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[QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by tugofwar View Post
There are gently used children clothing stores out there, one example is Once Upon A Child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaysneed View Post
Agreed! if money is really an issue, children's clothing is not costly, I am going through it as well but on the other side of the coin.
So you agree that there are great used clothing stores out there...


Quote:
...which most of the time looks like they are from a second hand store(Which was founded via bank statement), which causes rashes and is known for carrying bed bugs so in my case i cant wait to see my daughter so i can trash the used clothing she is wearing.
Oh wait....no you don't - used clothing is bad, causes rashes and usually carries bed bugs??? (no idea where you shop, I have NEVER seen or heard of this before and we have shopped in many MANY second hand stores.)

And seriously, nowhere in thr law does it say anywhere that if you recieve child support you are only allowed to purchase NEW clothes for your children. If you are throwing out the clothes she is buying for the child then why on earth WOULD she spend anymore on the clothes. I don't blame her one bit, you have no right to throw away the clothes she buys. If you're concerned about the cleanliness of the items there is such thing as a washing machine.


Quote:

.....and if you see your children in need of cloths despite paying child support just find a way and there is two sides because i know man/woman who would dress their kids up like street kids on access so the other parent can buy new cloths, again why would you want your child to even think about leaving the house looking like a bum?
Perhaps not everyone is as judgemental as you are. You sound like a snob because OMG! your kid is wearing used clothing - how gauche!!! Ugh...
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Old 06-26-2010, 01:09 PM
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Me being a snob?, Then so be it, My kids should always be better clothed then my self, and shame on you if you shop at a second hand store for your kids and not your-self. brutal it's understandable if the whole family has no choice but to shop there, Not spend $30 at Talize or once upon a child and spend $1000.00 at a leather store and is unemployed....lol never seen my child in a leather jacket . who comes first billiechic? isn't it wanting the best for your kids. so if you had the choice of you or your child wearing a garbage bag you'd happily give your child the bag.....
So News flash* if you use money received from child support to get your hair/nails done and booze it is child abuse and your kids have no use or need for it...!!!!People always get mad and say child support is for kids is it? there is a difference spousal is for you if any and CHILD Support is for your children
Not the mothers/fathers.... Yikes Lady Just Yikes and who got custody?
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Old 06-26-2010, 01:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaysneed View Post
Me being a snob?, Then so be it, My kids should always be better clothed then my self, and shame on you if you shop at a second hand store for your kids and not your-self. brutal it's understandable if the whole family has no choice but to shop there, Not spend $30 at Talize or once upon a child and spend $1000.00 at a leather store and is unemployed....lol never seen my child in a leather jacket . who comes first billiechic? isn't it wanting the best for your kids. so if you had the choice of you or your child wearing a garbage bag you'd happily give your child the bag.....
So News flash* if you use money received from child support to get your hair/nails done and booze it is child abuse and your kids have no use or need for it...!!!!People always get mad and say child support is for kids is it? there is a difference spousal is for you if any and CHILD Support is for your children
Not the mothers/fathers.... Yikes Lady Just Yikes and who got custody?
jaysneeds - you're out of control and wasting energy analyzing your x's bank statements and flaming people here. You don't sound like a reasonable person. Learn to not worry about things you can't control - like how your x spends CS money.
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Old 06-26-2010, 01:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaysneed View Post
Me being a snob?, Then so be it, My kids should always be better clothed then my self, and shame on you if you shop at a second hand store for your kids and not your-self. brutal it's understandable if the whole family has no choice but to shop there, Not spend $30 at Talize or once upon a child and spend $1000.00 at a leather store and is unemployed....lol never seen my child in a leather jacket . who comes first billiechic? isn't it wanting the best for your kids. so if you had the choice of you or your child wearing a garbage bag you'd happily give your child the bag.....
So News flash* if you use money received from child support to get your hair/nails done and booze it is child abuse and your kids have no use or need for it...!!!!People always get mad and say child support is for kids is it? there is a difference spousal is for you if any and CHILD Support is for your children
Not the mothers/fathers.... Yikes Lady Just Yikes and who got custody?
Don't blame Billie for my opinions.

Quote:
i can now point out that my ex uses 100% of c.s. received to cover car payment(s) ....
So she isn't using 'your' money to purchase second hand clothes for the children, she's using hers and how she chooses to spend her money is up to her. She needs the car to transport the children around so as long as the children have everything they need ie: food, clothing, shelter etc. than there is NO neglect or child abuse going on. The law says you have to provide the basics for your child, including clothing - NOWHERE does it say the clothes have to be from the Gap or American Eagle over Walmart or a second hand store. Just because you disagree with the labels on the clothes doesn't give you the right to accuse her of child abuse. If you want your kids in brand name clothing then go out and buy it yourself.

You can't have it both ways.
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Old 06-26-2010, 01:51 PM
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I am a bit confused on this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What does everyone consider Child Abuse?
I don't have a problem with anyone shopping at a second hand store, what I have a problem with is seeing my daughter in second hand clothes and her mother in new clothes every other weekend. How do you pay for a car loan and insurance that comes out to $643 and thats not including gas and maintenance and have no job, and not only that shopping at leather clothing stores. I am paying for my daughter to dress nice not my ex. Whoever receives CS need to realize it isn't SS and it is all for the child not the Custodial parent to shop and pay their bills with. You have the internet you can find out what child neglect and abuse is and than come put your comments. When Custodial parents ask for CS they are asking for it to help cover the child's needs for the month not their needs. It is people like you that that's the reason there is such thing as child abuse and neglect. Are you a pediatrician do you specialize or even cared to look those definitions up? Do you know what the stats are from Stats Canada? Do you know that it is because of single mothers that cause the most poverty rates around the world. Have you done any research before you leave your commments and opinions? Or you just talking from your own experience? Is it in the best interest for you to look better than your child or to pay your bills before you buy something for them? Most people on this site are only talking about themselves and what is in the best interest for themselves.
Does your children(s) know that the non-custodial parent are paying CS, most children don't and most Custodial parents act like the don't neither. That isn't abuse? Than what is? Do you think abuse is only physical?
What do you think happens when your children find out when they grow up? You don't think they will realize one day that you were wrong?
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Old 06-26-2010, 02:00 PM
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What isn't good for me isn't good for my children. If I don't shop at second hand stores for myself never would I shop there for my children. And I never said I had a problem with Wal-mart and I don't expect Label clothing but what i do expect is at least what I pay for. When your in court asking for CS your argument is it is for the child's clothing, shelter and food, if it was meant for your clothing and transport than why not use that as an argument. Is it because you know the Judge would not allow that.
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