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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 03-01-2012, 09:14 AM
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It's 18.

and if Bio-Dad has disappeared, you file motion with the court dispensing with the need for obtaining his consent to travel, given he cannot be located after reasonable efforts to do so have been exhausted.
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Old 03-01-2012, 09:32 AM
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Thx NBdad.
And BernerFaith: don't be sorry - and "truly hope" all you like but yes, in our circumstances it would be idyllic if he had disappeared. The list of dear dad's wrong doings are far too much to go into here but they include telling child that he (dad) was a better athlete than him (when he was younger), so basically he competes w/the child (really "normal"), disposed of the child's RESP that we had since child's first few months - where you might ask? To his trustee in bankruptcy that he filed a fraud personal bankruptcy with (still before the Bankruptcy Courts), shows preference (financial and otherwise to his 2 "new" kids w/current wife), tells child (and so does his wife) that they are too broke to contribute to the one sport child is in b/c "your bitch mother takes all my money." THIS while he short pays CS (now almost 30g in arrears), renovates his house, buys new cars, and travels. His wife (while pregnant w/2nd child) was also smoking in the vehicle w/my son w/them. I did manage to put a stop to that.

Recently his wife said to my son "you tell your mom we are so broke that your dad didn't even buy me a birthday gift." Oh yes, and then there's ex's deathly ailments he shares w/child every 2 months or so. He's a bullshitter. Perhaps he has Munschhausens (I spelled that wrong). He's had "cancer, an enlarged heart, kidney stones, gastro problems etc etc". Amazing that he shares this info w/a 13 year old and still he manages to thrive.

So once again while I applaud you for being such a staunch advocate for your boyfriend who clearly is one of the normal ones - there are plenty out there, that are far from normal w/no hopes for improvement. So yes, my darling - if he were to "disappear" it would be a Godsend for all but we won't get that lucky, at least not for some time.

Last edited by hadenough; 03-01-2012 at 09:34 AM. Reason: add
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Old 03-01-2012, 09:37 AM
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Hadenough...I can't start to understand how horrible it must be to deal with someone like that, but I just can't imagine seeing a child lose a parent... I have had many friends who lost their parents young and it is devastating to watch someone go through that.

Eventually your child will grow up and make decisions for themselves regarding Dad and he will see right through what Dad has done/ is doing, but in the mean time he has a great Mom, who he will appreciate all his life, but I am sure even though Dad puts him down or says things, he wouldn't want Dad to disappear.

We know all about the money things unfortunately... every time we have the children we hear how broke Mommy is. It really takes a toll on the kids to hear such things.
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Old 03-01-2012, 09:50 AM
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BF; thx for your reply. Another thing that came up in last 6 months. There was some talk of dad moving about 5 hrs driving distance away. You guessed it: I'd have been thrilled. His in laws live near the (then) proposed move. Like his cancer and other ailments (all imagined) he told child he might move there. It didn't happen. Recently child said "if dad had moved to "abc" I wouldn't go visit him, "screw him" - dad had told child he could TAKE the BUS to come "visit." Yeahhhh, okay - what a plan. Funny how everything is set up not to suit the CHILD. Also my son is adamant that he does NOT want dad at his graduation coming up soon. I said I'd let dad and his wife know about it so they had the option to attend (they likely wouldn't) and child flat out said "I do not want him there." So these are just a few of the situations that arise. He does go there EOW, and that seems to go okay, apart from the occasional bullshit he and his wife spew out. It is an unfortunate situation. As far as the "move" (that didn't happen) goes - by TELLING child he was considering it - he may as well have done it. Child said the same.

Luckily, child does see through dad's crap - and has elected to have a sense of humor and strong will w/regards to all of it. He's a fantastic kid. Smart, funny and kind. I will not and have not allowed for his confidence and self esteem to be undermined in any way by the likes of his father.
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Old 03-01-2012, 11:13 AM
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BernerFaith: I wonder what the "toll" is on (child/ren) hearing the "broke" story, being denied proper CS etc, but SEEING full well that the "broke" story is BULL and that "dad" does not go without anything when it comes to himself - and his wife shops CONSTANTLY. There's no shortage of food or threat of utilities being cut off over at Dad's house. Over here, we get by with the basics. Jeez not too much of a disparity in lifestyles. :s. I've had cable cut off once. Gas (had no hot water for 3 days, over a year ago) etc etc. Family Court and all the Bankruptcy BS has been very draining. A full time, un-paid job that I've had to deal with. What kind of "dad" puts their kids through all that??
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