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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 05-21-2017, 11:25 PM
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Default Unagreed on extracurricular activities

If you can prove via email you mutually decided to not enroll a child in a certain high cost sport and the ex and her husband unilaterally enrolled your child (interrupting) your visitation...would that be beneficial if this was taken to court?

It has come to my knowledge my children's step father enrolled one of our kids and signed off as their father...and now I am being badgered for contribution when I still do not consent to it.

I pay full support and believe ordinary sports are covered. This one sport in particular can be very costly down the road (time and money)

Main issue is we agreed we wouldn't go down this path and they have unilaterally have chosen to disregarding my visitation rights.
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Old 05-21-2017, 11:31 PM
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In addition my ex is famous for never giving reasonable notice or asking for consent which has resulted in my (no receipt, no payment, no consent, no payment) attitude. We're dealing with $27,000 in ortho treatments at the moment for 3 of the 4 children. Which to me take precedence over high cost activities. Especially when I have to pay 88% and take out loans to do so.
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Old 05-22-2017, 12:00 AM
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Oops was supposed to be a new thread about the budget :newbie:
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Old 05-22-2017, 06:22 PM
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have a read through my threads re activities on other parents time and unilateral s7 expenses.

what does your order say about s7 expenses?

if you didn't agree and other parent enrolled the child unilaterally and just asked you to pay you don't have to pay. matter of fact it gives you every reason not to pay. furthermore, sports are not a necessity for children.

Don't take the child to activity on your time and don't pay her a penny if you don't agree with the unilateral decision. this would be no different than you telling the other parent to take child to dairy queen every Tuesday and Thursday evening that she has child.

Judge has wished the other parent tough luck in my situation.

Last edited by trinton; 05-22-2017 at 06:25 PM.
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Old 05-22-2017, 09:54 PM
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Thanks I'll take a look at your posts!

Our agreement says that either parent has to give notice and obtain consent or there will be no contribution. This is more over the principle that we agreed we wouldn't go down this path with this activity and the step-father took it upon himself to register my son disregarding my visitation rights.

I don't think my ex would have done this one her own.

We agreed to a lower less competitive level just so child could play for fun. This is year 3 now that they will be signing him up without my consent, the two times prior I didn't even receive notice....I believe I only got notice this time because they were told by the lawyer that they can't do much about it if they can't prove I was ever "asked, or notified"
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Old 05-23-2017, 05:53 AM
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May I ask what this sport it? First thing that comes to mind is baseball... if the child has played in the lower levels for three years maybe he is ready to try out for the competitive league? I understand where you are coming from but if this is something the child really wants is there any way you can make it work?

Not sure where you are from but I know the competitive league around us for ball plays most weekends and is often in different towns... it is for sure a big commitment but some kids don't like just playing for fun and enjoy the competition. My youngest brother for example loved ball but he was well above the skill level of the house league players... he was so bored playing with him... he did competitive ball for a few years until he moved on but he would have quit ball a long time ago if there was not the competitive level.

If it's something you can make work then I would... if you can join in on your weekends that's awesome otherwise tell mom you will do your best but you will not guarantee the child will be there on your time


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Old 05-23-2017, 08:43 AM
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It's hockey and my children live 200 km from our marital residence, so unfortunately, no, I still disagree on travelling both Saturdays and Sunday's with 4 children for this particular activity. And I refuse to give up my weekends with him from October until April on a yearly basis...

Not every child gets to pick and choose their activities (I am all for sports, was very active myself) but hockey was always a firm no and we agreed on that until the step father pushed for it.
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Old 05-23-2017, 09:17 AM
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I think you already got your answer.

You said no, so you don't pay. You said no, so he doesn't go on your time unless you decide to bring him.

Sounds like mom moved away so maybe if you know your kid wants to play, offer to put him in in your town, where they originally lived. Then she can be on the hook for the travel and your kid gets to play. If it is not something you can do financially, then say you will take him if he plays in your town but you cannot and will not pay for it. Competitive sports are great but not worth loosing your house over. It's easy for the parent who is only responsible for 12% of the cost to push it!

Either way, when she sends a request simply reply with as per our court order, S7 expenses are to be agreed upon. We did not agree on this expense and therefore, I will not contribute to it.
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Old 05-23-2017, 09:31 AM
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i have done exactly that. And now contemplating setting a yearly budget per year per child specifically for sports. But paying 88% of them does add up. I can probably afford $200 extra a month which gives each child $600 my share. According to her this is the cost of the registration fee alone plus maybe a pair of skates and does not include their hotels and gas etc...(I would be ok to pay the registration and some equip but then I am consenting to have very minimal time with my child) and I certainly do not want to pay their gas and hotels.
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Old 05-23-2017, 09:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandem80 View Post
i have done exactly that. And now contemplating setting a yearly budget per year per child specifically for sports. But paying 88% of them does add up. I can probably afford $200 extra a month which gives each child $600 my share. According to her this is the cost of the registration fee alone plus maybe a pair of skates and does not include their hotels and gas etc...(I would be ok to pay the registration and some equip but then I am consenting to have very minimal time with my child) and I certainly do not want to pay their gas and hotels.
No Judge would expect you to pay their gas and hotels. That is not section 7 expense. Maybe let them know that if they register him in marital town (Because she chose to move away, you would not be giving up as much time with your son as you would if he were playing where she moved, and you cannot take on the driving expense) then you will pay your portion of the registration cost as you did not agree to the expense nor the driving it would entail. Stand your ground!

Section 7 expenses are extraordinary not everyday sports. If she registers them in swim lessons, child support covers your part of the expense. Rep hockey would be section 7 and it can get pricey but you said your order states they need your consent. Without that, you don't have to pay and they can take their complaining somewhere else.
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