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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 09-21-2013, 08:51 PM
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Default Telling comment by ex's lawyer regarding fairness and disclosure

Just a little comment by a silly lawyer.

After having a motion started by my ex, and while waiting for the judgement, I asked if we could have a meeting (myself, my ex, and her lawyer) to see what we can agree to.

During conversation regarding disclosure, her lawyer was upset that I wanted the exact same exhaustive disclosure they were asking of me. The lawyers says it was 'tit for tat'.

I asked what is the difference between my ex and I that I have to the provide disclosure requested and my ex doesn't?

The lawyer said, 'You're the payor'.

That spoke volumes to me. Was it because I was a man? Was it because her lawyer didn't really understand simple family law?? I was completely thrown off by that comment!!

I pay spousal support - both of our incomes are relevant.
We both have our kids equally and pay offset CS. Both of our incomes are relevant.
We both claim self employed income. Both of our expenses are relevant.
We both have rental units. Both of us must disclose this.

How are we different? How am I the 'payor'?? How is it that it is unreasonable for me to ask for the same exhaustive disclosure that they say is reasonable for them to ask for?

Silly lawyers, and my ex still doesn't get it. It is painfully obvious that they lost the motion too, and yet my ex says 'my lawyer says we won', and is moving forward to ask for full costs. I would not have asked for costs, but now I will too.

I hate the expression 'My lawyer says', it's cost my family tens of thousands.
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Old 09-22-2013, 08:49 AM
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billm,
The lawyer doesn't care about fairness or family law, or morale or ethics. They care about their own family they need to feed.
If you provide the financial disclosure, your ex provides the disclosure, and the family law/cs guidelines were applied, the case would be over after 2 hours mathematics and 4 emails. They would take home $1000.
By using your ex as a puppet and moving her by pulling her emotional strings they make you two fight over everything - and they take home $10,000. So don't hate the lawyer - hate yourself that you married to that primitive puppet and plan your actions with the above in sight. It is a game.
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Old 09-22-2013, 09:54 AM
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Yikes - a comment like that would make me wonder if her lawyer understands how the process of calculation works!

Wouldn't be the first lawyer who 'didn't get it." My ex's current lawyer seems to be one of those. His lawyer only practices family law once every few years (if that) - he focuses more on defending people charged with assault etc. My ex met him when there was a bench warrant out for him (theft over 5k charge to do with our business).
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Old 09-22-2013, 10:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BitHunter View Post
billm,
The lawyer doesn't care about fairness or family law, or morale or ethics. They care about their own family they need to feed.
If you provide the financial disclosure, your ex provides the disclosure, and the family law/cs guidelines were applied, the case would be over after 2 hours mathematics and 4 emails. They would take home $1000.
By using your ex as a puppet and moving her by pulling her emotional strings they make you two fight over everything - and they take home $10,000. So don't hate the lawyer - hate yourself that you married to that primitive puppet and plan your actions with the above in sight. It is a game.
Totally agree with you Bithunter.

I've had my ex's lawyer ranting and raving (case conference, countless letters) about:

my substantial underpayment on voluntary support that i have given for 22 months (I am 2% behind from mid range table support, yet have not gotten any tax relief yet).

has been pressing that my income is 15% higher than my HR department has stated in a letter

she has not provided any disclosure since 2011, but course I have provided full disclosure.

So now I've got an ex who says I'm lying about money, and I'm significantly underpaying her, and I'm trying to hide money from her... so with cranked up emotions comes a cranked up legal bill.

A quick search of lawyer on canlii shows that she uses cut and paste, word for word motions, etc etc... She is a $200 an hour, family law only lawyer who operates on volume, not litigating skill.

So yes Billm, don't expect reasonable or rational from the opposing counsel in your case.
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Old 09-22-2013, 11:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Yikes - a comment like that would make me wonder if her lawyer understands how the process of calculation works!

Wouldn't be the first lawyer who 'didn't get it."
Oh I'm sure the lawyer gets it perfectly well. What he's hoping is that he can bowl over an opponent who doesn't get it.

Stand firm, Billm.
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Old 09-22-2013, 11:12 PM
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You expect fairness and honestly from your Ex-wife's divorce lawyer....?
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Old 09-23-2013, 10:05 AM
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True exchange between two lawyers in writing (paraphrased - just to demonstrate the gist of the exchange):

Lawyer for payor parent:
"If my client was to pay the amount of spousal support that your client is demanding, that will leave your client with 70% of the NDI. This is in addition to still not receiving full financial disclosure from your client in order to determine the appropriate support amounts."

Lawyer for recipient parent:
"My client has already stated that she is not earning an income. She is the mother and she has the child (this sentence not paraphrased). Your client has a high-income job and can afford to provide my client with 70% of NDI."

Sorry billm, I couldn't resist. I can definitely relate though!!
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