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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 06-12-2017, 04:04 PM
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Default Taking my son out of daycare and getting a nanny instead

I split section seven expenses with my son's mom. She has moved on with her life and lives with a new boyfriend and his kids. Co-parenting with her has been awful, she has withheld the most basic information about my son. Once he got into daycare things really got better because I could go directly to them with questions and I finally had people that I could talk to about his development.

She has now announced that she wants to get a nanny instead and expects me to pay a portion of the expenses. I have no idea what magical calculation she is going to come up with to determine how much I owe to pay for this woman to clean her house, cook for her and her new family, but I've already told her she can forget it.

She simply can't handle the number of kids she has inherited. Sucks to be her, but I am not paying for staff for her house. My son's daycare is awesome, they include me, communicate with me, I get pictures and daily updates, I would be giving all of that up and would be paying more and getting less.

I've done several searches but can't find any examples of similar situations, I have no idea if I have a legal leg to stand on or not. Any suggestions?
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Old 06-12-2017, 06:27 PM
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I would think you would have a leg to stand on. I am no lawyer but if the kid is doing okay in daycare I don't think she would be able to take him out for a more expensive choice.

she would have to come up with a reason why a nanny is the better choice and why.
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Old 06-12-2017, 07:16 PM
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Sure, as long as your cost for A+B doesn't increase she can do whatever.
A) If you will continue using the daycare on your days then she must pay a part of that
B) For her nanny, contribute only as much so that total cost is the same.
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Old 06-12-2017, 07:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
Sure, as long as your cost for A+B doesn't increase she can do whatever.

A) If you will continue using the daycare on your days then she must pay a part of that

B) For her nanny, contribute only as much so that total cost is the same.

I would think it is more than just the financial issues to look at. There are the social aspects the child gains from being in daycare, plus the fact dad is able to gain information from the daycare regarding his child, which unless mom can prove she has good communication skills with Dad, those are important aspects



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Old 06-12-2017, 07:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
I would think it is more than just the financial issues to look at. There are the social aspects the child gains from being in daycare, plus the fact dad is able to gain information from the daycare regarding his child, which unless mom can prove she has good communication skills with Dad, those are important aspects

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Agreed - and I don't think this OP has shared custody. Even more incentive to keep the child in daycare, in preparation for a shared custody situation when kindergarten/Gr. 1 commences.

How long has the kidlet been in daycare? Has a routine been established, friends created, do you participate with the daycare during events? Have you met other kids, other parents, from the daycare?

What benefit to the kidlet is there, in moving back to a home situation, with care provided by a nanny (as opposed to care provided by the mother)?
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Old 06-12-2017, 09:11 PM
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Daycare vs nanny pros/cons are not arguable, because a parent can arrange whatever care they want on their time.

OP has not mentioned it so I'm hoping that there is no threat of losing access time due to this change.

On possible issue might be increase conflict due to exchanges at mons home. But it's only a possible, not proven, issue.
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