Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2017, 03:56 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Kingston, ON
Posts: 182
Bellbaby is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes, that's what I'm thinking. It turns out, I have three hernia's that are strangulated. So I need the surgery soon. They said if pain gets worse, walk into the ER and be prepared because they'll do the surgery as soon as the general surgeon can get in. One in my diaphragm, one in my belly button, and one just above. They're 2cms (belly button - big deal) and 4cms for the other two. It's disgusting. I can see it. My abdominal wall collapsed, so they need to rebuild it. I'm hoping that means free tummy tuck... 3 kids, I need it! There has to be a positive in this.

I never trapped him. That's what he keeps saying too. He's the one who had slow reflexes. I think he can choose to be a good person. But not towards me. I think there's always positives to the father being involved in the children's lives.

I'm questioning it in this case though...
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2017, 04:03 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,041
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
ignore all the none sense from him and only respond to what youre after for him to see his kids. if he's email is indicative that he doesn't want to then thats it it's the end of convo. you offered him an opportunity and he refused. don't offer any more opportunities. if he wants time then he can reach out and ask. go ahead and get daycare. if it's not in your order then don't expect a penny from him.


She could very well get daycare, it doesn't have to be in an order for her to get it. It is outlined in the CS guidelines. Your case is NOT the norm... you were successful in not having to pay daycare for whatever reason but that is not the norm. He doesn't have to agree to daycare if it's for work, school or illness. In your case I believe mom is withholding access and using daycare when you are available. In this case Dad is refusing to take his child therefore daycare is needed.

That being said, collecting from Dad could be an issue. One you will have to decide if it's worth or not


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2017, 04:13 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Kingston, ON
Posts: 182
Bellbaby is on a distinguished road
Default

Exactly. Is the final bill going to be worth the headache, time and energy.
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2017, 04:26 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,924
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Often strangulated hernias can be addressed with laparoscopic surgery. Recovery time is minimal.

I hope you have consulted with a surgeon before you get yourself worked up and worried (reading the internet won't help).
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 05-07-2017, 05:37 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 399
Ange71727 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellbaby View Post
I'm currently on maternity leave, so not at work. My daughter turned 9 months old today.

My other two children will be staying with their Dad. But he's unwilling to help with the baby...

I was going to sign the baby up for daycare for the later weeks of healing time. But the first two, I won't be able to drive... I won't be able to get out of bed. These first two weeks are my issue and problem. If a court is okay with just a babysitter, in that case is so much easier. I'll need about 12 hrs help during the day. I can hire two girls, 6 hours each and I'll keep a neighbor as backup just in case. I can manage at night as the baby sleeps in my room, doesn't wake for a bottle anymore, etc. She'll just sleep.

My court order - the judge never awarded visitation to my baby's Dad. I asked for reasonable visits, on reasonable notice as he is a pilot, to satisfy his schedule. The judge gave me full custody and never even addressed visitation in the order. This was through an uncontested trial.

I asked the baby's Dad, if he could help me at all. I emailed him to let him know the surgery details, date, etc.

I received an emailed response from my baby's father today. He refuses to communicate via phone or text. When I text him he always replys "Who are you?". Latest gf obviously doesn't know about baby. He said he can call in sick to the airline for three days to help. But then the issues started - he also said "I just paid FRO $10k for you, you threatened to take my passport, you said you'd pay half the DNA test, etc etc". FRO sent a letter demanding child support payment in 15 days or they'd take licenses/pilots license​ away,, I did previously tell him I'll ask for him to be held in contempt when he kept emailing me threatening to leave country so maybe that's where he gets this passport idea, and the DNA test I was willing to pay half for until I found out his OTHER gf was the one that wanted it. So I told him make her pay for half or ask the court. Well he never showed up for court. But I deposited/e-transferred him half the DNA $$$ immediately anyways. Needless to say we're very volatile... and I haven't moved on emotionally, which makes it worse. All the court issues were reopened and my emotions were too.

Asking my babys Dad for help opened Pandora's box. Dumb on my part.


I'm confused about the DNA test part. Does he believe he is not actually the father and therefore that is maybe why he is not helping?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2017, 01:03 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Kingston, ON
Posts: 182
Bellbaby is on a distinguished road
Default

He comes from a place of bitterness and resentment. He's very distrustful and challenges me on everything. His words were that he believed me but needed the proof to see it.

He fully admits he has emotionally committed relationships, but he cheats all the time. He claims it comes with his industry (aviation) as he is constantly on the road and has needs. First wife, divorced because he slept with a stewerdress when his other daughter was months old. Then, he told me on the phone just last week he's dating a new girl, but trying not to get any of the other women pregnant because he can't afford 3 kids. I actually also had coffee with another women he had on the side, at the same time as me. She met me for coffee and lunch on a different day, and was super nice. She held my baby through lunch just to give me a break.

But he's distrustful of me... Go figure.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Can parent take child out of school and hire nanny instead? FirstTimer Parenting Issues 4 01-14-2016 07:09 PM
Scheduled Surgery naz Parenting Issues 11 04-02-2013 06:39 PM
I need a nanny 911. karmaseeker Parenting Issues 7 06-23-2011 09:18 AM
Unusual case?? donnel8 Divorce & Family Law 30 05-18-2010 11:07 AM
Do Child Care Expenses Encompass a Nanny? #1StepMom Divorce & Family Law 8 06-29-2009 06:07 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:59 AM.