Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2007, 01:15 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 24
wildrose is on a distinguished road
Default

Thank you for your response and I will try to clarify a few points.

No, my net worth is not 50K. At the time of divorce my net worth was approximately 40K after all was settled and I was awarded $2000 per month in an agreement made and it was made official in our divorce finalization. This number was a number agreed on in a meeting in my lawyer's office with my ex and his lawyer. According to the schedule that my lawyer showed me, he was responsible to pay almost $4000 per month according to his income but I felt that was unfair and settled on half of that. It was what I needed to meet my monthly obligations and get back on my feet. I will also say that a good part of that 40K net worth was tied up in RRSP's and I am not able to withdraw.

At this point, over the last three years.....I have had two major surgeries and have made a move to a smaller town to try to lower my living expenses. I am currently trying to upgrade my education so that I can become self sufficient and have enough earning power to support myself.

My ex on the other hand has been able to increase his net worth to 500K plus in the last three years as he has had the income to purchase two revenue properties and boost his RRSP contributions by almost 30K. As well, he has purchased a new home to live in.

I have not been able to do this due to restrictions on job skills, as I don't have many and am trying to improve my situation in that area. My ex has now purchased a cash business where he is self employed and his income cannot be traced. He has basically gone into semi-retirement and he is applying for jobs he is not qualified for in hopes of not getting another job.

In the recent court application, we were told we had to include all combined household income which only covers half of our monthly expenses. My SO works as a labourer and he pays half of the monthly expenses with very little left over. I am relying on SS at this point to finish my schooling and become self sufficient. I have been searching for a job in our town and so far have come up with a job that offers 12 hours per week at 7.00 per hour. I'm running out of choices.
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2007, 01:16 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 24
wildrose is on a distinguished road
Default

Sorry, the above post should have read my net worth is not 500K. My net worth right now is only about 30K as I have had to use any liquid cash I had to live.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2007, 01:20 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 108
phoenix is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by wildrose
Is there anyone out there that can give me some constructive advice? I really don't know what to expect when this goes back to court in a few days.
Hi Wildrose... I usually just lurk here... you may find a little more supportive help over here...

Last edited by logicalvelocity; 01-25-2007 at 06:55 PM.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2007, 01:22 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 108
phoenix is on a distinguished road
Default

OK... the url has been banned... please email me at and I can put you in touch with a very supportive group of women experiencing divorce

Last edited by logicalvelocity; 01-25-2007 at 06:55 PM.
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2007, 02:14 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 479
Decent Dad is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Well, you can go to court, explain what you explained here, and see what happens.

If you need emotional support, there is a support forum here, also and others. Regarding the financial and legal stuff, you don't have much to worry about. You'll win.

Last edited by logicalvelocity; 01-25-2007 at 06:56 PM.
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2007, 02:24 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 24
wildrose is on a distinguished road
Default

To Decentdad

So your feeling is that even though he has lost his job and has purchased a part-time cash business and is wanting to cancel my SS that I will win in court? Why do I feel like I don't have a chance? Are you basing this on past experience or legal experience? I have a feeling it will all come down to the mood of the judge.

As of this morning my ex has dragged both of our grown children into the mix. My daughter has told me that I am picking on her father even though it was his application to the courts over and over, I am just responding. And my son is now telling everyone that another man is spending his dad's money. My significant other has his own job and pays his own bills. He can't afford to pay my bills too!
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2007, 04:21 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 27
seekinganswers is on a distinguished road
Default

I am not trying to pick on you, but really, if he is no longer making the same amount of money as he was when you split up, he probably really can't afford to keep paying you the same amount as he was.

Have you considered working the 20hrs a week, and going to school at the same time? I am sure that can be done - and then you can be contributing to your own support? And have his 'obligation' reduced? It's great that you are going back to school, and want to become self-sufficient, the greatest fault I find with SS is that women seem to believe they 'deserve' it, and think they should never have to take care of themselves.

I don't think it's fair at all that his new spouse's income is considered - why should she help support you, if you aren't helping to support yourself?

I also have to wonder - if even your own children aren't behind you, doesn't that make you think twice?
Are you being fed lines by society, your lawyer and the media that make you feel like he owes you something?
Wouldn't you feel better about yourself if you were indeed paying your own bills, and making your own way in life? Just some questions, cause I know I feel great about being independent post-divorce!!!
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2007, 06:57 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 88
DadofTwoGirls is on a distinguished road
Default

Wildrose,

I agree with DD. If you go to court, you will win - if winning means that you will continue to receive SS. The amount will be up to the judge and the flip of his/her coin.

Your marriage was long-term and you sacrificed your career to raise a family. I commend you on your efforts to become self-sufficient. I'm sure that you would rather be 100% self sufficient rather than still being dependent on your EX-husband.

If your ex has "lost" his job and he earned a substantial income, then you might argue that he is intentionally under-employed to avoid his support obligations. But, who knows what his counter-argument might be. The reality is that you are no longer a family and I wonder how you know his $500k net worth and the salary of his wife... are you sure about those numbers? Or, are they gossip numbers?

In any case, I would suggest that you pursue the SS but spend more time and effort in becoming self sufficient.

Best of luck to you.
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2007, 10:46 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 479
Decent Dad is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Before I answer your question Wildrose, some filler. There are many of us who have been through the system for, what seems like, decades. There are some of us who go even further and research laws, cases, read all the newspaper articles, follow forums, etc. There are some of us who want to go even further and push for Divorce reform.

Again, before I answer your question, knowing the above, lets play devil's advocate. And lets weed through all the kids stuff, the emotional stuff, his spouse, your partner stuff, blah blah. Just the financial facts.

When you split 3 years ago, you got half... and he got half. His financial income and your sweat equity are all split even-steven. But, you're at a disadvantage in this enterprise called marriage since your career does not exist, while his was allowed to continue. So, in compensation for that fact, and the fact you're both alone, you BOTH agree on $2K a month support. Done.

So, post divorce (i.e. no longer a couple or responsible for each other in the big sense)... his equity went up, to $500K... but he lost his job. Your equity went down to $30k, but you are employed. Well, such is life. Your equity could have gone up and his down... and so on.

Now, your ex has the liability (obligation) to pay a monthly fee of $2K. It is not like a car payment that could be reduced, halted, skipped or for that matter, he could even return the car. Nope. It's a support order. His only means to elminate this is to a) ask you to stop it... or b) take you to court and convince some judge to reduce or stop it. Failing a)... he must go b). That's the law in this country. Agree or court. There are no b/w rules in the Divorce Act (so to speak). So by saying "I'm just the repsondent" means you opted for "plan b". Well, you left him no choice.

Your role here is the banker. You are basically saying: I'm not allowing you to return the car, skip payments, reduce payments, re-amortize the loan or anything else that makes sense. I want my money.. go get it.

Now, do you see why we lose our minds when dealing with the Canadian Divorce system. No one. No where, is allowed to negotiate or act like this expect in Divorce. The bankers run the system (the support recipients) and the system allows for completely biased negotiations in favor of the banker. Heck, you can't even go to a competative bank for better rates.

So, now to answer your question: you'll probably end up getting an increase. Just call it a hunch.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 01-25-2007, 10:43 AM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 24
wildrose is on a distinguished road
Default

Just to answer a few of the questions that have been raised. I do know what his spouses income is and what his net worth is because the last application he filed with the court required him to disclose a full financial statement......assets and liabilities and so therefore I have seen in writing what his net worth is. These are not "gossip" numbers.

As far as my children and their feelings. They see their Dad on an almost daily basis and I only see them less than once a month because we live more than two hours away from each other. My children were very fortunate growing up and never wanted for much which was our fault. They now seem to follow the path that leads them to material things and that is why they are siding with their father. Their opinion is I'm picking on their Dad and purposely trying to make him miserable. That is not the case. I am trying to struggle to become self-sufficient by going to school to upgrade my education and I would love nothing more than to tell him I don't want or need his money. I would love nothing more than to have him totally out of my life but at this point I am not in a financial position to do so. My SO and I split all household expenses 50/50 and I have obligations that working 20 hours per week at $7.00 per hour just won't cover. Not by a long shot and we don't live lavishly. My car is paid for (by me) and we live in a manufactured home in a small town. I wouldn't call that living at the ritz.

As far as the case that is pending in court. I don't want an increase, I just want what was agreed upon in the beginning. As far as an even split in the beginning, yes we did split things financially 50/50 other than our matrimonial home which he lied his way through to gain a profit. Also, any material things I asked for from the house were not delivered as they were supposed to be. Most things were substituted with sub-standard replacements that he took upon himself to give to me and that really sucked. I ended up with approx. $5000.00 worth of material things from the house, he kept the rest. Because I had not taken photos of the things in the house I had no proof as to what those things were. We lived in a 3500 sq ft home and it was full of top quality items re furniture, etc. I got ripped off, plain and simple. Now all I ask is that he honor his obligation until I can get my diploma and then he can carry on with whatever it is he does. All I want is our court order upheld legally. So far it has cost me dearly and he has manipulated the children as well. It's like beating a dead horse and how do you complete with that?
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Spousal Support - Why It Matters Divorcemanagement Political Issues 83 11-28-2013 10:38 AM
press release: Ontario's Family Responsibility office Peggy Parenting Issues 8 10-22-2010 11:20 AM
Bird Nesting Custody Arrangement SJC Divorce & Family Law 7 06-29-2007 10:23 AM
Does this sound right to you? jlalex Divorce & Family Law 6 05-19-2006 12:42 AM
Property Division and support divot Financial Issues 1 11-18-2005 08:50 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:40 PM.