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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 02-09-2011, 11:34 PM
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Default Stbx paying for speech path that could be free

Hi there, I have a question in regards to extra expenses....

My stbx has temp. sole custody right now, and our youngest (3) is seeing a speech path. When she was about 12 mos. it was identified by a the Healthy Babies program that she could use the services of a (no charge) speech path to help her along, and we were to be put on the waiting list. A little while later stbx moved out, taking both my girls with her. Nothing further was done about the speech path, thought we were still on list.

Last spring, stbx starts taking our youngest to a private speech path, very high end, owned by friend/colleague of hers, without consulting me or discussion. Next thing you know, she is paying $120 for a 45 min session every week. I am informed of this, and as much as I couldn't afford it on top of cs, I took my youngest and paid directly for the treatment a number of times. Then stbx gets nasty about other stuff, tells me I no longer need to take youngest to speech anymore. I ask a number of times what is going on with it, get no answer. The practice tools (that we use to do her mouth exercises with) that I used with her on our access weekends stopped being sent - I didn't know if speech was still going on or what. Ten months later, her lawyer is asking for my share of $3000 in speech costs, and I find out we are not on the original waiting list, but on a new waiting list with another 18 months to wait.... If I had extra money I would gripe and pay it, but the reality is that I don't (too busy fighting false Threatening charges from her last summer). My question is- is it reasonable for me to question the expenses, because of the waiting list issues, and the fact that just because she has expensive tastes and likes to overpay for things, that I should be stuck overpaying too?

BTW, when ex left, she cleaned out our corporation (over $50k, including secretly taking about $11k after the fact), paid off all her debts, car, etc, and I got stuck with huge debt, and spent 6 months working for free finishing a renovation for client whose money she took.... I am very financially damaged by all this, while she has temporarily (haven't got to equalization order yet) walked away smelling like roses.... I am not trying to be bitter or cheap - I am just trying to make sure the girls are getting what they need, but at a fair cost, that's all

Am I being unreasonable?
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Old 02-10-2011, 12:23 AM
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What does your agreement say about section 7 expenses? Typically, she can't just present you with receipts and demand payment. Expenses are shared by both parties, proportionate to income and consent from both parties needs to be sought before incurring expenses. It really depends on your agreement.

If you don't have an agreement then you can notify her that for all expenses that she expects you to contribute to you expect to be consulted beforehand. If you have an agreement and this isn't defined then apply to have it amended before she takes you to the cleaners....again.

As for her expensive tastes, have it set out in your agreement that you both must agree on the expense itself and the source of the expense ie: you must agree on what therapist to use etc.
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