ss Entitlement Exceptions

[stressedby-X]

Thank you both for your input. I will try to fill in a few holes in a nutshell. We were married for fourteen years. He was the good father - coach of all the teams, played all the time with the kids and never missed any of the kids events. His father died. He became depressed (or so I thought) and began drinking alot. In the mean time his doctor treated him for depression.....and with the meds and drinking made him crazy. He started laying in bed all day, missing work etc. Hardly a nice environment for children.

He was removed from the home.

I do have a letter from his employer stating that he is a very valuable employee and they wanted wanted to ensure him that the company will work through his medical issues as long as he was prepared to help himself - obviously he was not. This was in December of 2005. In the note they advise him to remain off of work and stay off until he has a Dr's note with medical approval to return to work. They also offered a revised ROE that could be submitted to Employment Insurance for consideration.

Obviously he did get a return to work letter and went back to work. After seven months he just walked off the job. In three years he has not vigourously sought employment (to my knowledge).

I don't want anything for myself. Agreed to pay him an equalization payment and he could have anything in the house he wanted. He pretty well listed everything on his Financial statement as $0.

The thing is how do I find out whether or not a judge will rule he is disabled? He has not filed (to my knowledge) for Social Assistance and he tells me he is off meds and has not seen a doctor in two years. May still have some alcohol issues.

I cannot find any court rulings to see if alcohol can be considered a disability.

I Hate Cheaters are you sure about that calculation?

I calculated 300 for spousal support after child support is paid.

I made 100K and he makes nothing. I am assuming the judge will impute an income. Maybe maybe not.

The lawyers scare tactics are working. I hate the unknown. The last time we were in court for our settlement conference his lawyer pulled out of his hat my retirement gratuity ( sick days that can be paid out at my retirement if they are not needed). Good thing I went to work all those days when I was under the weather!

I didn't get a feel where the judge was going at the settlement conference, He just told us to get my gratuity evaluated and reamed X about his poor behaviour. My lawyer said he would not be entitled to support but in my opinion did not support this with case law. Really it is in the lawyers interest to keep the clock ticking. So here I am searching for answers.

[today]

Originally Posted by billiechic

For fairness sake, he shouldn't get SS unless he has a disability (mental included) that was there during the marriage. IF he was capable of working pre-divorce, why should he get a free ride now, and WHY should the ex pay? JMHO, but we all know the court doesn't work that way....

Funny seems to be OK when the roles are reversed....interesting.

[HatesCheaters]

Found this on CANLII. Not exact but has some similar issues.
http://www.canlii.org/en/sk/skqb/doc/2004/2004skqb379/2004skqb379.html

[stressedby-X]

I Hate Cheaters.................you rock!!!!!! The medical evidence is similar.

I would be glad to pay spousal support if it meant that he would get some help. If I pay either equalization payment or spousal support it would be bye bye money and he will never get any help.

I would much rather he got to a happier place so that he could support our children (emotionally).

Just as an aside he took 25K out of open money when he left and it was gone rather quickly. On equalization I owe about 130K but my lawyer wanted to hold some in trust for Child Support because our kids would never see a dime of that money. This I know for sure.

On a seperate note I am going to see another lawyer for hopefully an unbiased second opinion. A friend of mine is her neighbour and explained the situation (and although when I called her office her secretary told me she wasn't taking anymore clients.)...she is going to call me tomorrow and has agreed to give me a few hours. Whoo Hoo!

[billm]

Originally Posted by stressedby-X

...Just as an aside he took 25K out of open money when he left and it was gone rather quickly. On equalization I owe about 130K but my lawyer wanted to hold some in trust for Child Support because our kids would never see a dime of that money. This I know for sure....

I don't see that you have a right to withhold his equilization money. That is independent of child support and not yours to withold. It is his money, not yours. No wonder he is living at his parents, you are holding all of the matrimonial assets, which are equally his. Who cares if he blows it, it is his to blow.

[stressedby-X]

Well Bill I see you have a bee in your bonnet this evening.

I agree the money is his to spend as he wishes......but don't come knocking when the money is gone because this bank is closed!

His lawyer would like to set spousal support at $1.00 that will off set his child support of $1.00. I would be happy for 0 and 0 and say see you later because you can't get money out of a stone.......while I on the other hand will be working and supporting our children (orthodontists, sports and college/university) for a very long time. At least I can hold my head up and know that I have done the my very best.

[standing on the sidelines]

Originally Posted by stressedby-X

I
Just as an aside he took 25K out of open money when he left and it was gone rather quickly. On equalization I owe about 130K but my lawyer wanted to hold some in trust for Child Support because our kids would never see a dime of that money. This I know for sure.

You said in an earlier post that he was a great dad etc. Everything seemed to change when his father died. He used alcohol as self medication for the depression. If he gets the help and deals with his issues he could be that same man again. From your comment it looks like you do not think he will get better even with help. You cannot say that you know for sure that he will not pay child support, even if he gets better. The man went through the death of his father and that can mess anyone up especially if it was a close relationship. My marriage almost ended when my dad died. I was angry and lashed out at my husband.

[billm]

Originally Posted by stressedby-X

...
I agree the money is his to spend as he wishes......but don't come knocking when the money is gone because this bank is closed!
....

Agreed .

[stressedby-X]

Standing on the Sidelines,
I agree that the death of a parent can be a traumatic experience. However, this happened over 4.5 years ago and he has yet to seek help or even admit that he has any sort of difficulty. So.....no I am not overly optimistic

As I said he was an excellent dad but has not seen his kids play hockey or baseball in four years and we live only ten kilometres apart.

The first year we were seperated my older son played rep hockey and OBA basketball - but gave up both. I think mainly in part because he realized the toll is was making on me to transport him all over the place. If this doesn't make a father straightened up. What will it take?

So no I am not optimistic he will be supportive emotionally or financially in the future.