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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 06-21-2016, 10:26 AM
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Default Spousal support Help

Hi Everyone I am new to this board and wanted to start off by saying hi.

So I'll get to my situation and if I can get any advice it would be so much appreciated.

caught ex cheating October 2013 Separated Sept 2014. Unfortunately we did a separation agreement on our own and now she is seeking spousal support. Married 15 years and we have 2 children 11 and 13. She has worked off and on part time through out or marriage she is now working full time min wage. I make about $84.000 and I would assume she makes $21.000 I have met with my lawyer and he advised to offer a lump some , I did and I had it drawn up at $50.000 she then refused and came back at $600.00 a month indefinatly then viewable in 10 years. I currently pay $1070.00 a month in child support. She is now sending me emails indicating that if I don't come close to her number she will take me to court and the outcome will be way worse for me. My career by no means effected her career. I didn't even finish high school and worked at a factory till I worked my way into sales . I just don't know what to do anymore I'm so stressed over the whole thing. Do I just let her take me to court and see what the outcome is ? We have 50/50 split with the children which is also hard her and 80/20 on the kids extraordinary expenses Medical and sports
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Old 06-21-2016, 11:38 AM
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Simple math - you offered 50k and she came back with what amounts to 72k. Make another offer of 60?

The 22k difference (between your positions) will easily be eaten up by legal fees if you go the court route.


Did you mention SS in the SA the two of you came up with?
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Old 06-21-2016, 12:23 PM
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there was a section and we put a line through it and crossed it out , it did not say she would not seek it. We both had no money at the time so we did it ourselves and had a lawyer notorize it. She has indicated in many emails that she would not seek it then all of sudden she wants it.
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Old 06-21-2016, 12:38 PM
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Hey zanman,

If you can afford it, I would suggest a lawyer written SA. I have seen SAs written by the couple, compared it to lawyer drafted SAs... there is a lot that the lawyers put in there that a couple most likely would not have thought about.

That said... in your case, I'd take issue with the word "indefinite". I would also take issue with the 10yrs before you can review. I don't like the term "indefinite" because it places no urgency on the receiver to become self sufficient, which is their obligation. That term seems to contradict their obligation IMO. 10yrs before any review seems to long too. There are many possibilities for material changes in that time - kids ages and needs, her income, re-partnering..

That said, running your numbers using the free calculators out there.. her number for SS is roughly correct. You may be paying a bit too much on the CS. Keep in mind that SS is tax deductible too.. I am not sure if you could deduct $50K in one lump sum one year (but I am not an accountant... I have no idea).

So you are asking what to do in this case... rather than waiting for her to come after you, I would start a SA using a lawyer and present that to her instead. This will get both of your obligations on paper, and make sure the agreement is fair to both of you. In the long run, will likely save you $$.
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Old 06-21-2016, 01:09 PM
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She demanded I had one drawn up in which I did at my cost. offered the $50,000 in lump sum or devided monthly then she came back at 600.00 a month for indefinite and reviewable in 10 years is what her Lawyer sent back to mine. She then emailed and said if we go to court it will be closer to $900.00 a month and that the outcome will be worse for me so I should take her offer.
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Old 06-21-2016, 01:10 PM
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I've already bought her out of the house because the kids did not want to move or change schools so I gave her $70.000 and also 44.000 in RRSP
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Old 06-21-2016, 01:38 PM
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What did your lawyer's say about her suggested revisions?

At this point its all negotiation. She can say "sign or it will be worse" all she wants.. likely a scare tactic.

You were married 15 yrs. How old was she at the age of separation? I am guessing mid 30s... 40 tops. 65 Rule is to take the age at separation, plus yrs married. Is that 65 or more? If so then "indefinite" applies. If you were married 20+ yrs, then "indefinite" applies. If not.. you should be allowed to specify a duration. In my case, the max was the number of yrs married. The min was the # yrs until your youngest is 18. I don't know if that is in the guidelines anywhere, but that was used for me. In your case, the min is 8yrs, and max is 15 yrs for spousal support.

Just to get a rough guess, the free calculators online indicate that CS would be $900, and SS would be $640 (low), or $900 (mid), or $1200 (high) - that is assuming the rough numbers I inputted (guessing from your post) are reasonable starting points.


I am guessing her lawyer is suggesting the mid range for SS. The numbers don't sound far off - confirm with your lawyer. What I am saying is to fight the "indefinite" and 10yr window until review.

Her lawyer will of course press for the best terms. She is the paying client. But your lawyer should be gunning for you also to negotiate the best terms for you.
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Old 06-21-2016, 01:56 PM
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He said to just ignore her that he wouldn't agree to that either , let her take you to court he said. or try mediation I mentioned mediation and she never even replied to my email regarding that , She was 39 at the time of separation. I guess I'm just scared if we go to court it will be far worse for me and I do feel I'm getting bullied
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Old 06-21-2016, 01:58 PM
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The sad Part is I struggle to keep this house so the kids have a home no she is willing to take it all away and all the kids asked for was not to move so I agreed to buy her out and they come to my house everyday I have them more than 50% off the time. I'm just not sure if that stuff comes up in court. also I heard that she has even turned down some advancement at her work.
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Old 06-22-2016, 10:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Simple math - you offered 50k and she came back with what amounts to 72k. Make another offer of 60?

The 22k difference (between your positions) will easily be eaten up by legal fees if you go the court route.
The difference is even smaller... the 50k is tax free, the 72k is taxable for the recipient. (And vice versa for the payor of course)
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