Special needs child looking for advice

[carman]

Hi: I'm currently working back and forth on a separation agreement with STBX. Custody is not established yet. Our child is 11 and lives with me full time. Dad sees her 1 weekend out of 4. I have not been able to find much information on planning for a special needs child in a separation agreement. Does anybody have any advice or information? Thank you.

[hadenough]

Does he see her one wknd out of 4, for the entire weekend, at his residence, or does he come to yours, and see her? Have you spoken to a lawyer yet? Are there any health care professionals that you deal with re: your daughter's special needs that might be able to offer you some direction. I'm not sure how to search the CanLii (sp?) Law Site - but someone on here could give you info on that - perhaps there's a final order/decision posted on there, that would give you some insight.

[staysingle]

Can you expand on the nature of your daughters special needs?

[carman]

Thank you for the information on the Can LII site. I did not know that it existed. There was some helpful information there. Yes I have contacted a lawyer, but the couple that I have seen, seem to have little knowledge about such cases.

[carman]

She has "global developmental delays" vision, hearing, toileting and mobility issues. Requires Physio/ OT, orthopedic braces, glasses, hearing aid. She is a pleasure with a positive attitude. She attends school, and has an EA in the classroom. Requires approx 3 - 6 appointments per month, 1 - 3 of these would require travel of 1.5 - 4 hours one way. Father has moved away from town, and expects that I should be able to maintain the same level of employment that I had throughout our marriage, even though he is no longer around to share in parenting responsibilities. I'm was basically looking to see if anyone else has had similar circumstances. This seems to be pretty vague as to what can be done.

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by carman

Hi: I'm currently working back and forth on a separation agreement with STBX. Custody is not established yet. Our child is 11 and lives with me full time. Dad sees her 1 weekend out of 4. I have not been able to find much information on planning for a special needs child in a separation agreement. Does anybody have any advice or information? Thank you.

This is a complex task as the medical information, sharing, decision making, etc... difficult.

Some questions (Do not disclose the actual medical condition of your child please)

1. Is it a mental health (ie. Autism) or a physical health condition that surrounds the special needs (i.e. MS, SP, etc...)? (Please don't state the medical condition just if it is mental health related or physical health related.)

2. How involved has the other parent been in the medical treatment of your child? How involved does the other parent want to be? How involved should the other parent be?

3. Is the special need often result in acute care (i.e. hospital visits / emergency visits) often? (Again, don't state the problem of the child just if they do have a condition that requires acute care often.)

4. Are all health care expenses covered by supplemental insurance. If not what % is not covered?

5. Special child care services (nanny, etc...) for the special needs of the child? Do you have a nurse etc who comes to the house to help with the support of the special need?

From this information I can help point you in the right direction towards things that need to be in the SA.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by carman

Thank you for the information on the Can LII site. I did not know that it existed. There was some helpful information there. Yes I have contacted a lawyer, but the couple that I have seen, seem to have little knowledge about such cases.

They are far and few between. A good solicitor will leverage a malpractice lawyer to help sort out the requirements. (Not that malpractice is the issue here but, they are generally the only solicitors that understand the medical system and can help a Family Law Solicitor generally.)

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by carman

She has "global developmental delays" vision, hearing, toileting and mobility issues. Requires Physio/ OT, orthopedic braces, glasses, hearing aid. She is a pleasure with a positive attitude. She attends school, and has an EA in the classroom. Requires approx 3 - 6 appointments per month, 1 - 3 of these would require travel of 1.5 - 4 hours one way. Father has moved away from town, and expects that I should be able to maintain the same level of employment that I had throughout our marriage, even though he is no longer around to share in parenting responsibilities. I'm was basically looking to see if anyone else has had similar circumstances. This seems to be pretty vague as to what can be done.

This is complex but, solvable. You are going to need special support though through the health care system which you can get.

I am very sorry to hear that the other parent has abandoned his responsibilities. This happens TOO OFTEN in situations with children with special needs such as the ones you are describing. The system isn't setup to support a parent in your situation like this and 99% of Family Law Judges would not even know where to start really. Just like the lawyers you are bumping into. You need a lawyer with intimate knowledge of the health care system. Hard to find. If you are in the Greater Toronto Area there are only a few who do know.

I will try and put some materials together for you as soon as possible to help.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[staysingle]

Lawyers and judges do not know "Jack" about special needs children. Go get help in the community from people that know what they are talking about eg. other parents, child pyschologist, family doctor, EA's, school board etc. Stay away from lawyers , they will suck every dime out of your coffers!

Good luck

[carman]

Hi:

1. There is mental and physical issues, however there is no specific disorder.

2. The other parent has always been the secondary care giver. I have done the majority of appointments and all surgical appointments. We live a couple of hours apart now, so he isn't that involved in appointments. Doesn't ask how things are, rarely acknowledges emails when I send information. I was going to ask for sole custody, but don't want to get into an expensive court battle. So not sure if this is wise.

3. We don't seem to be needing acute care any longer, a few years back this was an issue, but currently and in the future I don't see that being an issue.

4. Health care is covered for the most part by a health plan, probably about 15% isn't covered. There will be special extraordinary expenses for some drugs, and equipment that isn't covered.

5. No nursing support is required. We do need specialized babysitters, as there are toileting issues, and safety issues.

Thank you for any help you can provide.