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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 04-18-2016, 01:51 PM
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Question Simple question: can you keep the matrimonial home? Yes or No

Hi there,

I have a question about the matrimonial home.

We separated in Fall 2014 and during Winter 2015, I did my calculation and came to the decision that I could not afford to keep the house. I told my STBX and she said she wanted to keep the house even if she was making 50% less than me. I knew she couldn't but I told her to do her homework and to give me an answer soon. We are now 2016 and she is still wandering how she will keep the house.

What is it with her. It's not hard to meet with the bank with the actual incomes and decide if you can keep the house or not.

I've asked so many time to my lawyer to do something with the house and it's always being pushed away. We are still waiting for our first motion and the judge already pointed that he will look at CS, SP and access but the house wasn't a priority.

Is there something that can be done to either force her to give my share of the equity or to put the house for sale and get the fare market value?
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Old 04-18-2016, 07:03 PM
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This is known as the "I know I can't afford to keep the house but delaying things means I get to live in it longer" method.

Yes, you can apply to the court to get an order that the house be sold. I think though, that the profits go into a trust that isn't released until the rest of the divorce is settled, then the lawyers get paid out of the trust and then you get the rest.
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Old 04-19-2016, 09:59 AM
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How to proceed? I have a lawyer but like I said, I've asked numerous time and nothing was done. I was waiting to get my share of the house after being transferred to my STBX following the appraisal but it never happen. Now, with all the lies and bs she caused to me, I am not interested to get my share. All I want is to list it on the market right now to get the fare value as it is the time to sell. Can I apply to the court myself and which form needs to be filed? What are the steps to process?
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Old 04-19-2016, 08:34 PM
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Just found the information I was looking for. Apparently, under the Ontario Partition Act, when you own a matrimonial home jointly and don't agree on buying or selling your interest, you can ask the court to force the sell of the house by order.

Can I get a Court Order to force the sale of the matrimonial home without the expense of hiring a lawyer? – Ontario Divorce Help | Ontario Divorce Help

Forcing the Sale of the Matrimonial Home - Ontario Family Law Blog

Now, I will fill the motion and affidavit and forward it to my lawyer so she can file at the court and serve the other party. I guest this will be form 14A.
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Old 04-19-2016, 10:00 PM
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As Rioe said though, even if you file the paperwork and a judge agrees that the house be sold, the money will most likely be put in trust pending the full and final resolution of your other outstanding financial issues. So you may not get the money much earlier. All that said, it could force some action from the other side which may be mostly what you want. Keep in mind if they fight it you may incur additional legal costs if it turns into a complicated motion.
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Old 06-08-2016, 12:17 AM
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Hummmmmm! Apparently, STBX cannot refinance the home unless she gets an order from the Court showing how much SS and CS she is receiving. The bank is requesting such document for acknowledgment.

This would explain why she wants to get legal custody of the children. Full custody means big support as per full table amount.

What if during the interim order, she get's full custody with full table amount so that she can keep the house. Later on, the final order states that the parenting time should be split 50/50 and the CS would be based on each parents' revenue. If she was able to keep the house with the only condition that she gets full table amount, what would happen if the 50/50 split would adjust the payment to be made to her only half of what she was getting? Is it like she was gambling and it will be up to her to get out of this financial issues? What happen if she is now unable to make the mortgage?

I'm asking because I think she would be very tight even with full custody and you never know what can occur in the future... my children could come and live with me permanently.

Any thoughts on this one?
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Old 06-08-2016, 08:18 AM
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Why don't you look at this in a different way. Obviously your stbx is unable to provide a decent home within her means and therefore will be seeking SS and trying to maximimize the CS by pushing for full custody.

If you agreed to sell the present home,and purchase a more modest but suitable home which she can live in until the children move out, which max is 12 years, then you can sell that home and it will be a nice little investment fund for you. In the meantime you buy your own place and move on. The children would then have 2 suitable homes close to each other and you would have a good position for a 50/50 split.

Instead of putting your money into a lawyer put it into settling stbx into a new home and sharing your children.

She could pay a small amount of rent, so you can tax deduct all the repairs etc.

Otherwise she will go for the max of SS, stay I. The house at your expense and fight for the kids so you will pay max CS.
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Old 06-08-2016, 10:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
Why don't you look at this in a different way. Obviously your stbx is unable to provide a decent home within her means and therefore will be seeking SS and trying to maximimize the CS by pushing for full custody.

If you agreed to sell the present home,and purchase a more modest but suitable home which she can live in until the children move out, which max is 12 years, then you can sell that home and it will be a nice little investment fund for you. In the meantime you buy your own place and move on. The children would then have 2 suitable homes close to each other and you would have a good position for a 50/50 split.

Instead of putting your money into a lawyer put it into settling stbx into a new home and sharing your children.

She could pay a small amount of rent, so you can tax deduct all the repairs etc.

Otherwise she will go for the max of SS, stay I. The house at your expense and fight for the kids so you will pay max CS.
This is the worst advice ever... but I'll give you the benefit that you do not know my STBX. Trust me, I will have to deal with her for the next 15 years or so concerning the children and that's it. I don't wanna deal with anything else with her in the future. If I invest in a home and I am tide with her on living issues... landlord issues... etc... no way. Too stressful.

The point of a separation is to walk away from the other and be self sufficient. I already have my new home to accommodate my children. I first moved into an apartment and she was refusing access because she said it was too small to accommodate the children. I had to buy a house (downsize from the marital home) and moved away from the city (taxes were too high as well as the price of buying/renting house) to gain back my access. I'm only minutes away from the children's schools and the marital home. Still it was denied. It then proves that she is only acting nasty.

It is the same for her. She cannot afford the marital home and must be put on the market. She could get a more descent place where her mortgage would be more suitable to her income and have more for herself and the children. But her obsession to keep the house will definitely lead her to financial issues later on. Sounds like she doesn't want to understand.
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Old 06-08-2016, 10:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mafia007 View Post
Hummmmmm! Apparently, STBX cannot refinance the home unless she gets an order from the Court showing how much SS and CS she is receiving. The bank is requesting such document for acknowledgment.

This would explain why she wants to get legal custody of the children. Full custody means big support as per full table amount.

What if during the interim order, she get's full custody with full table amount so that she can keep the house. Later on, the final order states that the parenting time should be split 50/50 and the CS would be based on each parents' revenue. If she was able to keep the house with the only condition that she gets full table amount, what would happen if the 50/50 split would adjust the payment to be made to her only half of what she was getting? Is it like she was gambling and it will be up to her to get out of this financial issues? What happen if she is now unable to make the mortgage?

I'm asking because I think she would be very tight even with full custody and you never know what can occur in the future... my children could come and live with me permanently.

Any thoughts on this one?

That's the bank's problem, not yours. If they're willing to give her a mortgage based on her current financial information, and some years down the road she can't make the payments, the same thing will happen as happens to everyone who can't pay the mortgage - she will either have to refinance or sell the house. Your task here is to get your equity out of the house, either by asking to court to force a sale, or by your ex buying you out. Her financial issues are her business.

This should be kept separate from child custody questions. There's no point speculating about what might happen if the kids come to live with you, if you get shared parenting, etc. That's her problem (and the bank's), not yours.
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Old 06-08-2016, 11:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
If you agreed to sell the present home,and purchase a more modest but suitable home which she can live in until the children move out, which max is 12 years, then you can sell that home and it will be a nice little investment fund for you. In the meantime you buy your own place and move on. The children would then have 2 suitable homes close to each other and you would have a good position for a 50/50 split.
Anyone who can trust their ex that much probably isn't getting divorced in the first place. I would never let my ex live in any property I own, it would almost certainly be destroyed in the year before she had to move out.
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