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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 03-11-2010, 10:41 AM
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Default Separation Agreement

I have been separated for nearly 2 years and we don't have a separation agreement. When we first separated my ex was paying me over 1/2 his pay to help cover the cost of our marital home where I still reside. He lost his job but continued to pay child support based on the old salary without much complaint. Now he has been working again for over 6 months and making good money $65000 but claims he has no money. I have not worked in nearly 11 years since the birth of our child. I am currently back at College taking a work preperatory course that is funded funded by the governement for people with mental health and addiction problems (I have been diagnosed with depression and am on medication after the break up of my 16 year marriage).

We share custody of our child 50/50 but now he has told me he wants to stop paying child support because of this, even though I have not income.

I am spending all my saves to pay for our marital home so I have somewhere for myself and my child to leave. It costs about $1500 month for mortgage, insurance, property taxes, utilites. I figure I would be paying pretty much that for a two bedroom apartment in Toronto.

Anyway, I am asking for up to 8 years of spousal support in the amount of $1200 and half of the child guideline support $308 per month for a total of $1508. I have also stated in the agreement that this amount will be reviewed annual based on our salaries, so that if I get a good paying job he no longer has to pay, but he keeps saying I am taking 1/2 his pay cheque and how is he suppose to live.

He does currently have an apartment that he uses only to take our child to, as our child is not suppose to have any contact with this girlfriend, whom my ex left me for. He also shares a nice condo in downtown Toronto with is girlfriend.

Am I being unresonable and is 8 years to long to get back on my feet (that is why I put up to). Not sure what I should do!! Any comments or views would be appreciated.
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Old 03-11-2010, 04:17 PM
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Quote:
When we first separated my ex was paying me over 1/2 his pay to help cover the cost of our marital home where I still reside. He lost his job but continued to pay child support based on the old salary without much complaint.
So he overpaid you, even though technically he didn't have to. Sounds like he left the marital home, and allowed you to keep it. Technically he's entitled to half the equity in it, as of the date of separation.

Quote:
Now he has been working again for over 6 months and making good money $65000 but claims he has no money.
He should be at least paying you offset CS based on the new income, though personally I'd say cut him a little slack, especially if he has continued to pay CS based on the prior salary. He probably has at least SOME debt from the duration of his unemployment, where he was paying you full amount of CS even though he wasn't obligated to. (No separation agreement or order for support, therefore he should be paying based on his income, and if he was without work,it was essentially 0)

Quote:
We share custody of our child 50/50 but now he has told me he wants to stop paying child support because of this, even though I have not income.
Nope, he can't do that. What he *should* be paying (actually if the custody arrangement all along was 50-50 it should have ALWAYS been this way) is offset table amount. (Which in your case equals pretty near full table anyway, especially if you are on some form of income assistance/governement assistance program)

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Anyway, I am asking for up to 8 years of spousal support
The requested timeline is pretty accurate. Usually 6months - 1 year per year of marriage, you're asking for the minimum, which seems reasonable to me.

Quote:
in the amount of $1200 and half of the child guideline support $308 per month for a total of $1508.
CS amount sounds pretty reasonable to me, especially given the fact he DID cut you a break when he wasn't working. Can't really answer the whole Spousal support question. You really need to see a lawyer on whether you qualify or not. They have software that can spit out what you qualify for, if any.

Spousal is meant to bring your Net Disposable Income to within 45% of his. If you are already at that level (including CCTB/UCCB, CS, and whatever other funding would fall into that) then you wouldn't be eligible for it.

There are others on here that may be able to help you get a rough idea, but you'd need to provide some financial data for both yourself and him.

Are you collecting the CCTB/UCCB solely, or splitting it with him 6months-6months?

Quote:
He does currently have an apartment that he uses only to take our child to, as our child is not suppose to have any contact with this girlfriend, whom my ex left me for. He also shares a nice condo in downtown Toronto with is girlfriend.
Is there a reason for that? Like an actual reason? I don't need details, but if it's just because you don't want her near the kid, and he's agreed to it...then THAT would be unreasonable, and he basically has higher than normal access costs to meet that requirement you've imposed.

Quote:
Am I being unresonable and is 8 years to long to get back on my feet.
From what I can tell, you are trying to be reasonable about it and are open to try to come to a compromise. The 8 year timeline is pretty standard (assuming 16 years of "actual" marriage, not just common law or whatnot) and you are allowing it to be readdressed if/when you find a job that allows you to not need it anymore.

Quote:
Not sure what I should do!!
Personally I would say try to get the financials together and speak with a lawyer. Even simply to find out whether you have a case for spousal or not.

You DO have other options if that isn't the case. ie. what kind of equity do you have in the home? If you can't afford the home currently, would your ex be open to allowing you to sell it, and forgoing whatever share he might be entitled to in lieu of no/reduced spousal support payment?

Maybe then you could use some of the funding from the sale of the home to float yourself through school, and use the rest for a downpayment on something more affordable?

Lots of things you CAN do. What you'd be entitled to legally, if push came to shove, you'd really benefit from an hour or so of time with a lawyer. (You should qualify for legal aid if you are on assistance I believe)
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Old 03-12-2010, 04:02 PM
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Thanks NBDAD for you input. I am just trying to get some views of others that are less bias to see if I am being fair.

I am not on assistance as I had to much money in RRSPs and other funds for my childs education, which I have now used more than half of.

I have no income other than the current CS ($617) and $374 in CCTB. My child is 10 so no universal.

He did not leave the home without a fight and he didn't make me sell because of our child and the fact that I was going to leave the city and live with my parents about 1 1/2 hours drive out of the city.

He currently sees our child every day as we have a very strange custody arrangement that our child likes. Our child spend Monday and Wednesday with dad, Tuesday and Thursday with me. Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays are alternated. Whomever has our child Friday and Saturday does not have him Sunday. This allows one day of the weekend. I also pick our child up from after-school care everyday as my ex can never make it there on time and I got tired of our child sitting in the commuintiy centre not really being supervised. This was not always the case. For the 6 - 9 months our child only spent limited time with his dad. This new arrangement is less than a year old.

As for the marriage it was about 2 months short of 16 years, but we were actually together since we were 17 (21 years).

I have spoken with a lawyer and I am entitled to spousal support, but I don't really want to have to file with the court. I want to try and work it out between us, but we have been working on this agreement for 18 months and in 4 wks we will have been separtated 2 years.

We are planning on selling the home which we have had for about 12 years. According to the market trends in our area we should be able to get nearly double what we paid for it. Problem is he is not willing to pay for any of the repairs that really need to be made or the decorating that needs to be done to sell it.

Again, thanks for any and all advise and comments. They really help.
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