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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 12-13-2016, 01:13 PM
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You might be right on that one Arabian. His new GF loves D7 to death, I wouldn't put it past her to have just given him the money even though he hasn't paid anything into the house. Suspect that he is just riding her wake, so to speak.

I do realize this is her decision and she should probably be the one on here asking these things. However seeing I have been on here for a while, after consulting with her we thought it would be a good idea to seek advice on these forums. I feel like my first statement came off as some bitter money grab and that is not at all the case. Gotta watch those first impressions and re-read before hitting post I guess.

Is there a downside for her to going to FRO? She is thinking that he will just continue to be underemployed and hide his money but in the end this is already what he is doing.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 12-13-2016, 01:30 PM
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One good thing about dealing a maintenance enforcement agency is that the two people don't have anything to do with each other. Lame-assessed excuses for not paying are the responsibility of FRO to deal with. FRO can garnishee wages, bank accounts, go after drivers' licenses etc. FRO is used to dealing with people who hide income and those who take winter leave in jail. What you have to remember is that FRO only enforces what is in a court order. FRO is about money and nothing else.
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Old 12-13-2016, 02:16 PM
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The bottom line is you cant get blood from a stone. Is there a chance of getting anything from this guy? Thats the main question. You can go to court, get an order and file with FRO but that doesnt mean anything. If he wants to pay then he will. If he doesnt he will find ways around it. If youre going to pursue this then do the basic file and go from there. Imputing income isnt simply checking off a box on a form. You have to argue for it and if he can prove he is incapable of earning income, he could win. You need to decide if your time, energy and money is worth it.

As a child of a man who disappeared at 13 and reappeared when all the financial stuff was over I can assure you that the kids and the people who love the kids can see through his bullshit posts on social media. The kids will also know who did the heavy lifting. He is still their father and one day they will be mature enough to see the situation for what it is. If youre pissed simply because hes telling the world hes dad of the year then give your head a shake. If you can legitimately get something out of him then go for it.

We grew up on the philosophy of "any man can father a child, only a real man sticks around to BE a father."
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 12-13-2016, 02:47 PM
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Very well said Rocksan. She will need to make her decision and I will be there for her. I am willing to support her through the court process if that's what she chooses and of course we can always count on the forums here for guidance.
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Old 12-14-2016, 10:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by calicodacat View Post
Janus... My comment was snarky, I am generally pretty kind to Dad, I have encouraged the relationship he has with his daughter in every way. However, there was a post on FB the other day that just kinda made me question his outlook on reality about him being a super Dad and that probably explains my cynicism. Yes I think of her as my daughter and I try and be the best dad I can, taking on all roles included with Love.
I was just trying to make sure that you know that you are not the child's father, and that you have absolutely no right to denigrate the father in front of the child. Perhaps you don't say bad things, but your post had an incredible level of disdain for the real father, which makes me believe that you probably insult him quite liberally at home.

Your partner's kid will not tell you to stop, but I assure you that it hurts her to hear the bad things being said about her father.

Quote:
Ok so maybe a slight exaggeration on the grocery bill for effect but honestly we are a blended family with 5 kids total (that makes 7 people in house at any one time) and yes our grocery bill easily gets 1000$ a month. I will try and be more specific next time.
The child support is only to feed your partner's daughter. It is not to feed you. It is not to feed your partner. It is not to feed the other children. Your total grocery bill is irrelevant.

I would go so far as to say that the $2000 probably covers the entire marginal cost of food for your partner's child for the entire year.

Quote:
As demonstrated by my new partners hesitation at going to court over cs for her daughter I know she is not a "golddigger", she is hard working, caring Mom and spouse.
We never said she was a gold digger, especially since she is messing with a broke... um... person.


Quote:
We are not trying to bleed this guy dry
You think he is a terrible father.

His facebook posts saying that he is a good father are annoying you, because you think that deep down you do more for the kid than the real father.

You think that if he is going to post about being a good father but not follow through, that at the very least you are going to hit him for CS.

I agree, you're not trying to bleed him dry. You're just hoping to punish him for having the nerve to pretend to be a good father online.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2016, 10:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by calicodacat View Post
Is there a downside for her to going to FRO? She is thinking that he will just continue to be underemployed and hide his money but in the end this is already what he is doing.
If the parent is paying anyway, going to FRO can increase hostilities between the parents. There is slightly more paperwork on a yearly basis to adjust numbers.

Other than that, for the recipient, there is no downside to FRO, and it would be silly not to register.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2016, 10:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by calicodacat View Post
Very well said Rocksan. She will need to make her decision and I will be there for her. I am willing to support her through the court process if that's what she chooses and of course we can always count on the forums here for guidance.
Perhaps remind her that her child with Dad is entitled to financial support from both parents, and that both parents have a responsibility to make this happen. So registering with FRO isn't just something she might think about doing, but something that she SHOULD do. Yes, Dad should be paying CS without this hassle, but if he isn't, Mom should be on it.

Then step back and let her either act on her responsibilities or not act.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2016, 11:26 AM
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If registering with FRO, and similar to this guy's situation they just don't pay, how long and likely are you to see results of licenses taken away, garnishment of other sources (bank account, liens, etc)?
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2016, 12:03 PM
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The arrears have to reach $3000 and then FRO will start their process. How long that takes differs.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2016, 01:07 PM
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I can't wait till he gets smacked with the in loco parentis stick. Blended families are statistically almost guaranteed to fail.
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