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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 12-12-2016, 01:42 PM
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Default Retro-Active CS

New partner has 7 yr old daughter, we have been living together for 2.5 yrs ish now. Birth father has been on and off seeing her EOW.

During this 2.5 years he has been to jail 2x for DUI and probation violations, for a total of about 5 months in jail. According to him, his employment has been sporadic due to layoffs and is mostly under the table. He has payed a total of about 400$ in cs up until recently when he sent her an email transfer of 2000$, money he says came from the sale of his new partners house. This guy probably thinks he's dad of the year for paying up this money when the reality is this covers like 2-3 months of groceries. Mom has never made any formal requests to the court for cs, however she was granted full custody in absentia (he never showed up).

I have been pushing her to get the forms submitted to apply for cs and her response has always been that it is pointless as he will never pay consistently anyways. I have learned through this forum that self rep in this situation is doable and I am now encouraging her to file asap.

My questions is.... what is the likely hood of her getting an order for his income being imputed to min wage at least and arrears to be paid? Even at min wage over a 3 year period arrears come up to more than 2000$.
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Old 12-12-2016, 02:33 PM
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why are you even trying to push her to do what you want? It's up to her to decide what she wants to do. Yes he should be paying but if she doesn't want to pursue it, that is her choice.
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Old 12-12-2016, 02:40 PM
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Well... we all need a little push sometimes. Because as a family we are struggling to keep our heads above water and any little bit will help. I believe that we all have a responsibility to care for our children. I love her like my daughter and I am glad to help raise her and pay for whatever she needs I just don't feel like he should not have to contribute to her financially or contribute when he feels like it.

I am not making a big deal out of it, she comes to me for advice and I have encouraged her to start the court process because I think this is the right thing to do in this case. Am I wrong?
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Old 12-12-2016, 05:30 PM
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I sympathize with the hard times you're going through, but I don't think you should count on retroactive CS. Retro CS is hard to get. In this situation, it sounds like Mom knew where Dad was for the last few years (if he was seeing Kid EOW) and could have sought child support but didn't. This is different from a situation where Mom was somehow prevented from seeking child support (because she didn't know where Dad was, he gave her false financial information, etc). If she's never pursued CS before, a judge would probably want to know why not (bear in mind that CS is the right of the child of the marriage, so if her reason for wanting retro CS is because her new husband and family are in financial need, that won't fly).

However, it is definitely worthwhile for Mom to get registered so she can get proper CS from Dad going forward. Other posters can tell you how to go about that.
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Old 12-12-2016, 06:32 PM
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Hey buddy - do you know what in loco parentis is? Are you prepared to have this woman leave, you take the kids and start making you pay child support (I imagine you're a beta, stable type) perfect for the plundering.
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Old 12-13-2016, 11:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by calicodacat View Post
This guy probably thinks he's dad of the year
What is your relationship with the children? Are you the new dad? Are you a better dad?


Quote:
the reality is this covers like 2-3 months of groceries.
Wait, you spend $1000 in groceries every single month on the kids? What are you feeding them?

Quote:
Because as a family we are struggling to keep our heads above water and any little bit will help.
Instead of wasting time in court, try feeding your partner's kids on less than $1000 a month. That would go a long way to help your struggling family.

Also...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Links
Hey buddy - do you know what in loco parentis is?
These types never do. They are all about screwing over the biodad and then are shocked when they in turn get screwed.
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Old 12-13-2016, 11:37 AM
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I also thought 2 grand for groceries was excessive for a 7 year old kid. I don't even spend that much and I am an adult plus I have a pet that I buy food for.
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Old 12-13-2016, 12:24 PM
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So the thread was about retro cs... and your responses although interesting for debate are none the less not super helpful. I am a good sport though so gladly will answer.

Links... last I checked we are not buddy's... Yes I understand the concept and if the time came that me and my new partner separated I do understand that I would have an obligation to help.

Janus... My comment was snarky, I am generally pretty kind to Dad, I have encouraged the relationship he has with his daughter in every way. However, there was a post on FB the other day that just kinda made me question his outlook on reality about him being a super Dad and that probably explains my cynicism. Yes I think of her as my daughter and I try and be the best dad I can, taking on all roles included with Love. Ok so maybe a slight exaggeration on the grocery bill for effect but honestly we are a blended family with 5 kids total (that makes 7 people in house at any one time) and yes our grocery bill easily gets 1000$ a month. I will try and be more specific next time.

As demonstrated by my new partners hesitation at going to court over cs for her daughter I know she is not a "golddigger", she is hard working, caring Mom and spouse.

I think I am a pretty good "type" person, I do like having a partner in life. I did think long and hard about my decision to re-partner and weighed the pros and cons and in the end this is the choice I made. Would like to think that that is good enough.

In the end I am still searching for why you guys think going to court to secure some sort of cs from Dad is a bad idea? We are not trying to bleed this guy dry, we are talking about imputing to min wage, because there really is no reason he can't make that much and he is obviously paying into a house as he received some of the proceeds of the sale. It almost seems from your comments that you have some issue with this. Please elaborate.
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Old 12-13-2016, 12:35 PM
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Are we to believe that 2000$ is all he got from the proceeds of selling his house? Or is this what he feels is reasonable for a arrears payment for cs. At this point, based on Stripe's statement and info I have gathered She does not have much legal choice but to accept it.
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Old 12-13-2016, 01:00 PM
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Very generous of the other woman to provide 2k for her boyfriend's daughter.

Your partner/spouse/girlfriend has to make her mind up whether she is all-in to pursue CS for her daughter or not. She should then register with FRO (assuming she hasn't done this). FRO will either go after father aggressively or make arrangements with him, based on his current situation, on payments of CS.

Nothing whatsoever for you to do besides support everyone.

Yes the father absolutely has a legal and moral obligation to support his child.
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