previous inheritance?

[2old4this]

This forum is great,but after reading thru most of the financial section,I'm still unsure about this.Five years ago my husband passed away..all insurance monies was invested and set up as a monthly income for me,which is deposited directly in a joint account I now share with my present husband.

He himself gets three pensions,so would not need that money.If I leave,does he make claim to half of what was set up for me by my first husband?

What I receive is about 1/4 of the total monthly money.Any extras he had when coming into this marriage he has spent on cars..and more cars...the only thing that matters to him.

I do not work,and have not done so since '98...this is the only income I have.Do I have a right to depend on this money when I leave?

My home and car went into the home we now share together......

I'm so afraid I won't have enuf to live on,I haven't gone yet...I need advice!

[Lindsay]

Hi 2old4this,

Life insurance proceeds are not included in your net family property. The following info is found on Jeff's Ottawa Divorce web site:

"What items are not included in my ‘net family property'?"
Certain items, such as life insurance proceeds, gifts from third parties, inheritances and personal injury awards, may be excluded from your net family property calculation, if they were received during your marriage. To exclude them from the calculation, (1) you must have kept these items separate from all other property, or (2) you must be able to prove how you have invested these monies. For instance, if you get a $20,000 inheritance and then invest it in art, your art would not be included in your net family property.

The one exception to this rule is investments in your matrimonial home. The value of the matrimonial home must be included in your net family property calculation, even if you used money from life insurance proceeds, inheritances or personal injury awards to pay towards the home.

While you did not keep your insurance proceeds separate from other property by depositing the monthly payments into the joint account held with your current husband, it seems to me that you would be able to prove how you invested the insurance proceeds.

As far as getting back the part of the proceeds spent by your husband, I believe you could put together an adjustment to the equalization of net family properties, but backing up your calculation would prove to be difficult. Perhaps Jeff or another one of our experts will be able to give you more info.

Your monthly payments from the life insurance proceeds are yours and yours alone. You would also be entitled to spousal support from your husband should you two separate.

I am assuming that you had a different home, sold it, and purchased the matrimonial home. If this is correct, the assets you held at the date of marriage would be deducted from your net family property. However, if you owned a home before the date of marriage that is now the matrimonial home, your husband has 50% interest in this property.

Lindsay

[2old4this]

Thanks for the fast reply.This money is in my name only,and has been since my husbands death.This man wanted to spend it,but it's set up so that I get a paycheck each month.

He had a home,and moved into mine after selling his.Eventually,we sold that one and have moved into a smaller home..all due to his control and pushing me into what I did not want.

If I leave,can I redirect my money into a seperate account..not our joint account,but one for me?

He would stay in the house,as I am the one leaving.90% of the things here are mine,but I cannot wait to take them......I just want away! He gave his children all of the things from his home,and took very little into my home.

If I take my income,who is responsible for the costs in the home after I'm gone?Am I not responsible for light bills etc.??The home is paid for.....

I think I might have your ear worn out.....sorry,but I do need direction badly.This marriage should never have taken place............

[Lindsay]

Hi 2old4this,

You can do whatever you like with your inheritance money. You may open up your own account to deposit your cheques into.

Are you interested in retaining the home, or would you prefer it if your husband bought you out? If you are interested in retaining the home and you leave, while you do have the right to enter the home when you please, you may have a hard time arguing that you should be the party to retain the home after having vacated the property for however long.

In regards to the household contents, in most cases the contents are appraised and your husband would be responsible for reimbursing you for the items that he retains. You may also arrange to pick up certain items that you treasure and want to keep for yourself. In advance, you want to put together a detailed list of what you'll leaving behind.

As far as paying the bills, I think it's best to continue paying the bills that are in your name. Later on, you may ask to get reimbursed for these expenses as far back as the date on which you vacated the home.

You're obviously feeling overwhelmed, which is very understandable. Post however many questions you like. That's what we're here for!

Lindsay

[2old4this]

You're giving so much more info than I ever imagined I could get online..and thank you so much.

I love this home,but it's too far from everything for me to stay here alone.It's 20 min. from a town,and in winter,one often needs to run a generator during power outages.This means,it's more than I could handle.My husband loves puttering with things of that nature,and it's fine for him.

All of my treasures are in this home....I plan to take pics,and jewellery...really,that's all I can take..I plan to stay with my daughter till I get things under control.....I need a lawyer....#1

When I came into this marriage,I had security...an income,a home,and a car.
5 years into it,I have little security...no home once I leave..and a car payment.........we've had ten different vehicles in the last 5 years....and now,I owe for mine.........

Sometimes,I can't believe what is happening....it's a nightmare....

As far as papers,I have no idea what is important for me to take....guess my personal,and the car papers..that's how I'm going to leave....take the car...paid for or not......

maybe I should be putting these things in another thread??

[Lindsay]

No worries, you're in the right thread

I think it's a very good idea to make a detailed inventory of the items you plan to take and the items you plan on leaving behind. These items are near and dear to you, so it's worth the effort. Perhaps even take photos if you can. It really depends on whether you think your husband will put up a fuss when you seek to get these items from the matrimonial home at a later date.

Also, you may want to start gathering statements for all of your assets, debts and property from the date of marriage. If you have not kept these statements, order them from your financial institutions. This is something you will very likely need to do eventually, and gathering statements is the last thing you'll want to do if you end up in the middle of a separation/divorce. Please note that you will also very likely need to obtain statements for the date of separation as well, so if and when you do separate, keep the statements for that month handy.

As far as the most important items to take when you leave the home, that's really up to you. Bank statements can be ordered from a bank. Your income tax returns can be obtained from the CRA. I suggest taking as many of the irreplaceable items as you can. I think any documentation with regards to the life insurance proceeds is definitely something you should bring with you.

You're right in saying that you need a lawyer. Consulting with a lawyer is the first thing you should do pending or upon separation. While some charge an hourly rate, advice from a good lawyer could save you a lot of money and heartache.

Divorce really can be a nightmare, but you are doing the right thing in getting ready. While I believe knowing what may be coming could diminish the financial and emotional impact of separation and divorce, there are always things that you can't prepare for. The only thing you can do is prepare for being prepared.

Lindsay

[2old4this]

Lindsay,ever since my husbands death,I have worked with a financial advisor reguarding my money.....the same one we used before his death...isn't that enuf proof that this money is mine???

Also,if I take the unpaid car,am I responsible for the payments???He has a big truck..paid for..all to himself.....

[Lindsay]

The financial advisor should be able to provide you with some kind of letter or statement providing the details of the insurance proceeds going to you.

In regards to the vehicle, I'm really not sure. I think it depends on what the parties agree to. However, generally, a party is responsible for what he/she retains at the date of separation.

I want to reiterate that you will be entitled to spousal support. It doesn't matter who initiates the separation. The fact is that you haven't been working since 1998 and your income from the insurance proceeds is simply not enough to maintain the standard of living you have become accustomed to living with your husband. As LV says, spousal support is based on the recipient's need for support, and the payor's means to provide support. It seems to me you have the need, and your husband likely has the means.

Lindsay

[mom22galz]

...but I'm reading some abuse issues between the lines of your posts, 2old4this. If that is indeed the case, there are a lot of online "getting ready to leave your abuser" checklist type things you can look at. Heck, even if I'm wrong, the advise about what to bring when you go is valid in any situation.

Here's a link to making an action plan to leave an abusive partner from the site I've found the most useful:
http://www.owjn.org/issues/w-abuse/safe.htm

[2old4this]

Thanks mom for the site..that has a lot of helpful info......
Seems I'm very concerned about money,but,am I allowed to remove half of what's in our joint account?If I have to make a large car payment,the money has to come from somewhere.
Lindsay,my main concern is making it on my own...I haven't given spousal support one thought..I do realize that once I leave,my money will be going towards rent etc..........That's not what my late husband had in mind for me.
Both of my grown children hate this man...it took me 5 years to get there.