payment pre-separation agreement

[gff834]

Very recently, my wife wrote in an email that she wanted to consider us officially separated, suggesting this was the only way she felt she could the space she needed to determine whether or not she wanted to continue with the marriage.

Our finances have never been integrated, and we each largely pay our own bills. That said, since my income is higher, I do from time to time deposit money into an account that she has access to. Her bills are greater than her income.

Although she suggested we are officially separated, there is no agreement in place & and she has indicated she is not going to do that right away. I don't want to see her fall behind in her obligations, but I am reluctant just fork over money now in case it would set some precedent for spousal support going forward. That said, she is at a point where, if not for her email, I would have put some money into her account.

Will paying her before a separation agreement (or without a separation), but after she writes that 'we are officially separated' set me up for future obligations?

I am fairly confident any support she would receive (married 2 years - live apart by choice for work) would be marginal, and I don't want to do anything that will damage my position.

[doingmybest]

Married 2 years...she most likely won't get spousal support, especially if she is working. And if she did, it would most likely be for 1 year max.

For those 2 years though, everything you made, she made, and you have accumulated together will be split, so you may have to pay her if you made more money in the 2 years...and have savings etc.

Keep records of all the times you put money in her account to help her out, just in case things do not go nicely. You may have to show you were always being fair and concerned and taking care of her.

Also, does she know you put money in her account, perhaps email her and say you will put money in this time (good will gesture) and let her know that you will not be continuing, so that she is prepared and can adjust her living expenses....just a suggestion. Again, you are being the considerate and caring by letting her know your intentions.

Hopefully things work out though for you. Perhaps counsellng?

Good luck

[midnightvampyr]

Keep proper records/photocopies....

[singledad99]

When we split my ex was not working. We had two lines of credit, one for each of us. I kept making monthly payments to her account and at one time transferred a huge chunk from her line of credit to mine. Before that I paid a credit card from her line of credit. At our settlement meeting, her lawyer refused to give me credit for the payments that I made plus added the credit card payment from her line of credit to my account. I still can't figure out how it happened and why my lawyer agreed to do that. I was a clear double hit for me.

Based on that I wouldn't recommend being nice to your ex. Move on with your life and don't worry about whatever happens to her credit ratings. If she needs money from you she'll ask you and then you make sure you get her to agree that such advances will be applied against final settlements.

[Max22258]

You are right mr nice guy must not exixt, i sparated on the 25 sep 2008 of last year, let her use the house for her bussiness. I request that she pay half the utilities on many occasion and never push very hard with that. She was to move out on the 1 june, on the 29 may of this year she drop charge of rape on me dating from the 22 july 2008. I lost my house and only have my clothes now. In the preliminary the crown attorney had trouble trying to come up with any charge, so he want to put her on the stand, so i am still out of my house till the 13 sep. I know i will beat the charges and doubt that she will get anything as the law is very soft on false allegation as to not get the feminist too angry. The men however ae treated harshly.

[Charlie]

My situation is similar in that my wife wants to separate but won't leave house and is not paying anything toward running of household bills.She is using a separate bank account and left our joint account with an overdraft.Now she wants to know what our assets are and i am refusing to tell her until we can sit down and discuss the direction we are heading in.Do i have to tell her where our assets are? If she knew, i'm scared she would blow all the money.

[billm]

Originally Posted by Charlie

...Now she wants to know what our assets are and i am refusing to tell her until we can sit down and discuss the direction we are heading in.Do i have to tell her where our assets are? If she knew, i'm scared she would blow all the money.

Yes you should tell her, they are after all both of yours. Don't play her game, but protect yourself too and assume that she will try to screw you.

There is no reason why you can't (or should not) be honest, yet at the same time protect yourself. It is tricky because unfortunatley how they act (if they are angry etc, use lawyers to try unfair things etc), and how you act, can change the outcome of your separation. In a perfect world this would not be the case!

But the short answer is that you should always do full financial disclosure.

[Max22258]

yes that seems similar they only exception is that I am not married with her. If you are married you have to divided everything, well i took care of my ex wife as we did negotiate no problem. I thought i could do the same with this one but to no avail. Good luck and get an attorney quick.