New to this site. Question re Land Title and Child Support Payments

[singlemom2012]

Happy New Year to all. My husband moved back to his home country and left me with our children. He is not working and is not paying child support. It seems this will be the trend for months/years to come. We refinanced our mortgage and I'm in charge of paying it. Is there something as abandonment that he is not physically involved in the lives of our children, and if I ever sell the house in the future is he still entitled to 50%? Also, how is access determined in this case? via email/chat/video chat? he wants to see our children for holidays and I do not feel comfortable sending them overseas. Am I under any obligation to send them when he is not meeting his role of a parent financially and physically? Thank you.

[billm]

Just because he is not working, does not mean he does not have to pay child support - he is living off some means, and he has to share that with his children.

He entitled to half of everything, debts and all. For the matrimonial home, it is still his too - you need to settle that matter. If he does not cooperate, you may be able to force it through court action.

Your best bet is to settle financial matters and move toward divorce, with or without his consent.

It is easy to mix support and access, but they are not related. The children have a right to see their father. He would have to pay for the access.

If you have a valid reason to be opposed to the kids going overseas, he can always come here - but he is comfortable with it, he is their parent too, and frankly it sounds great to me - travel overseas, see dad, see extended family - I would think that is definitely in their best interest.

[singlemom2012]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I appreciate your response. The problem I have is he is living in the middle East. His family is not in talking terms with me, and I do not trust him. He is not talking to me either. He only wants to have communication with the children. Every time I have tried to talk in any marital issue, he has chosen to ignore me. I am afraid that if I were to send my children to visit him, I would not get them back. I have made it clear to him that he is welcome to visit/see the children here in Canada.

[billm]

Originally Posted by singlemom2012

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I appreciate your response. The problem I have is he is living in the middle East. His family is not in talking terms with me, and I do not trust him. He is not talking to me either. He only wants to have communication with the children. Every time I have tried to talk in any marital issue, he has chosen to ignore me. I am afraid that if I were to send my children to visit him, I would not get them back. I have made it clear to him that he is welcome to visit/see the children here in Canada.

I think most would agree with you.

Taking your word for it, his lack of communication with you, not accepting financial responsibility, and not dealing with the end of your marriage, he does not seem to be someone that can be trusted to return the kids.

Even if he were acting in an acceptable way, it would perhaps be hard for you to trust that the kids be returned, so at least you don't have worry about being unreasonable in denying that the kids visit him there.

If he wants to see them, he has to come to visit them where they live.

In my view, he does not look like a good parent if he moved out of the country - that is abandonment, or at the least, showing that you are in fact the primary parent. He has given you control by his actions.

[beebie]

If he is gone forever and not supporting, get sole custody.
Do not allow the kids passports out of your sight.
If you need to sell the house, do so and have the child support/ spousal support (?) secured on his half of the equity.

[inseperationhell]

I agree...do not allow your kids to travel to see him. If he wants to be a part of their lives, he can visit Canada.

[singlemom2012]

Thank you so much to all of you who replied. I feel less stressed and feel more comfortable with the overall feedback I received. I agree. If he wants to be a part of their lives, he can come here where they are safe.

[Teenwolf]

I agree that sending your kids to the middle east is not a good idea. If he refuses to send them back, then it will be a nightmare trying to juggle the law in Canada and the middle eastern country.

What you need to do now is go to court, get a judge to agree with you, take sole custody of the kids, and specify that any access the father has will be in Canada.