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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 07-01-2011, 09:16 PM
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Default Mediator vs Lawyer Fees

Apparently if you and your spouse are not going at it tooth and nail and can sit down and work out things- like division of property etc one should use a mediator. BUT a mediator''s suggestions are not binding so you also have to make use of a lawyer. Where is the cost saving if you go to a mediator-and then have to go to a lawyer? Now you have two bills. Doesn't the lawyer have to do whatever he/she would do anyway in order to ascertain division of property etc??? Hence when you go to the lawyer after your mediation scenario the lawyer does what you would pay him/her to do if you just went to them in the first place. Seems to me
they would have to do all that to ascertain the validity of what the mediator has come up with. So my take on this is if I use a mediator and a lawyer my expenses for their services together would be greater than if I just used a lawyer in the first place. Please enlighten me. Bomar
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Old 07-01-2011, 09:29 PM
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There are different services offered by a mediator and therefore different degrees of their power. For a couple that basically can work things out themselves and want a neutral third party to help keep things above board they go to a mediator and work out an agreement basically themselves.

For the couple that want to be amicable but are stuck on some issues that just can't decide - the mediator has the capicity to put on his arbitration hat and decide for the couple. He creates a legally binding document and comes up with a middle ground approach.

Both these methods are more cost effective and less time consuming. There is also parent co-ordination.

Of course any of the above require 2 people that are reasonable, willing to negotiate, and wanting a swift fair resolve.

If you are dealing with the unreasonable. None of these methods will work as it requires a voluntary commitment on both sides for resolution.

We have offered ALL of these services and been rejected and told "only a judge will tell me what to do".

So then there is the legal route. Lots of letters. Lots of money. No real resolutions on anything and a long drawn out battle waiting for our day in court.

Investigate all the different avenues and if you can get a good mediator that can act as an arbitrator on the issues that you are stuck on - do it.
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Old 07-01-2011, 09:33 PM
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This guy gives you a 1 hour free meeting to see which path is best for you:

Ontario Family Mediation

I wish she would have just agreed to mediation this might have been over a year ago.
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Old 07-02-2011, 01:18 AM
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We used a mediator and it saved us a tidy bundle! I still ran a few things by my lawyer but in the long run it did save us a lot of hassle and money because the mediator was neutral so neither of us felt that one was trying to pull one over on the other.
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