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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 03-03-2012, 12:11 PM
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Default Matrimonial Home mortgage payment issues!

Good morning everyone,

My ex and I have been split for a year and a half now. It's been an incredibly difficult process to say the least. Currently there is an Emergency Protective Order against him because after we separated, I refused to allow him into the home (because he was very angry and I was very scared) so he broke in! For the last year, he has refused to sign any agreements, settlement offers or provide any information to my lawyer.

After the EPO was put in place, I rented out our Matrimonial home due to 1) not being able to afford it on my own and 2) fear that he would come back and harass me considering he knew where I was living (after all...an EPO is just a piece of paper that is very easy to "walk through").

My renters agreement is up May 1st and the EPO expires mid-April. We did do mediation at one point and he stated that he wished to move back into the home after the renters contract was up. I agreed, because I have no wish to live there.

That was in October and there has been no movement from his council.

I am caught between a rock and a hard place because:

- I don't want to live in the home, yet I worry that if he resides in the home, the mortgage payments won't get paid (I feel this way because of the lack of response and responsibility I have seen him put forth throughout this divorce process). I don't want to be stuck in a situation where he is living in the home, not making mortgage payments and I am on the hook for both my rent and the mortgage on my home. We also divorce because of some addiction issues as well as he is chronically between jobs and he is also asking me for Spousal Support. These are all factors indicating to me that allowing him to reside in the house might be a poor financial decision.

- I was planning on applying for an Exclusive Property Possession Order, however I am unable to live in the house due to being unable to break my current lease on the condo I'm renting. I also don't want to live there because my ex will then know where I am living and I don't feel comfortable with that. In a perfect situation, I would continue to rent out the house as the mortgage payments on the house are being met until a Settlement can be reached. However, with a Property Possession Order, am I able to rent out the home to a third party?

Can anyone help me out with some thoughts/ideas. I'm very stressed out about this!
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Old 03-03-2012, 12:20 PM
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why not just get the house appraised and have it listed for sale (money stays in trust with the lawyer till equalization) or he buys you out???

I am not sure what happens if you try to get exclusive possession and then rent it out.
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Old 03-03-2012, 12:28 PM
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The house was only purchased a year ago, so there is no equity in it.

My ex does not have the money to buy me out. I tried to offer an Exchange of Covenant, but he has yet to reply to any offers I send over.
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Old 03-03-2012, 12:46 PM
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...so, why not just get the house appraised and have it listed for sale?
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Old 03-03-2012, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SwanSong View Post
The house was only purchased a year ago, so there is no equity in it.

My ex does not have the money to buy me out. I tried to offer an Exchange of Covenant, but he has yet to reply to any offers I send over.
sell the house then, one less thing to worry about. I know he has to sign something to give his consent to sell so get it done.
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Old 03-03-2012, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
...so, why not just get the house appraised and have it listed for sale?
....because I don't want to be destroyed financially.
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Old 03-03-2012, 01:15 PM
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Short term vs long term.

It might be a bit of a financial hit right now to sell the home, however in the long term this entire situation is almost guaranteed to cost you a whole lot more. Do yourself a favour: sell the house, cut your ties and move on.
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Old 03-03-2012, 01:18 PM
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I don't understand how selling would destroy you. You both have $0 equity in the house now, you will both have $0 in cash after. Will the realtor fees destroy you?

Actually, if he buys you out, you would get ... $0! Or, you could buy him out for $0. It seems the only issue is whether the bank would approve you (or him) as a sole mortgage holder.

Actually, thinking some more, it seems doubtful that there is no equity int he house. There should be at least your downpayment. That would need to be split if one buys out the other.

Last edited by dinkyface; 03-03-2012 at 01:22 PM.
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Old 03-03-2012, 01:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
I don't understand how selling would destroy you. You both have $0 equity in the house now, you will both have $0 in cash after. Will the realtor fees destroy you?

Actually, if he buys you out, you would get ... $0! Or, you could buy him out for $0. It seems the only issue is whether the bank would approve you (or him) as a sole mortgage holder.
The mortgage penalty alone is $16K, plus realtor fees.

I am trying to get him to take over the house (via the Exchange of Covenant) but he hasn't responded to anything!
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Old 03-03-2012, 01:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SwanSong View Post
The mortgage penalty alone is $16K, plus realtor fees.

I am trying to get him to take over the house (via the Exchange of Covenant) but he hasn't responded to anything!
most banks will waive the penalty if you keep the mortgage with them.
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