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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2017, 10:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Also: Your friend lost a good chance to be sneaky. I would have let him fill out his financial disclosure, sign it, and then provide evidence that he was lying. The credibility hit would have been priceless.
This ^^^ isn't at all being sneaky. It is good legal conduct in my opinion.
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Old 03-20-2017, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
If your friend's husband still has his job then she should look at getting an interim order for automatic deduction of his income for Interim Spousal support to pay mortgage. Also she can meet with bank and lay out the situation, namely his addition and what she is doing about it financially) and see if bank can offer some sort of short-term payment arrangement.

If she doesn't take some sort of measure to get his income from source then there would be no reason/no repercussion for him to not pay. Sometimes one has to treat irresponsible people like children. This sounds as though this is one of those situations.
She says she talked to the bank and was told that if she paid the arrears and committed to paying the mortgage through withdrawals from an account in her name only, the damage to her credit would be undone. It also looks like credit card debt incurred before separation will not be excluded from the equalization calculations (in other words, she's going to end up with her share of the equalization reduced by half the amount owing on his cards as of the date of separation, even though he's still responsible for actually paying off the creditors).
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Old 03-20-2017, 06:56 PM
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I was pretty sure that banks can help out ... your friend is not the only person in the world married to an addict.

However we have to remember that the is co-dependent issues that she should immediately seek counselling for. Yes, she will pay for her "denial" one way or another.


The Interim SS Order through a maintenance enforcement agency should give her some additional relief (kind of a fast-tracking way to ensure she isn't sitting with having to pay for everything right now). These things typically go through court quickly as it motivates parties to come to agreements. If he doesn't pay her he will pay the bankruptcy trustee an overage amount (which would hold up his bankruptcy to possibly 3 years instead of 9 months, assuming this is his first bankruptcy) so it is in his favor to agree on consent to a deduction order for SS through MEP.
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Old 03-30-2017, 12:13 AM
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The Interim SS Order through a maintenance enforcement agency should give her some additional relief (kind of a fast-tracking way to ensure she isn't sitting with having to pay for everything right now). .
SS on what grounds? He prevented her from working? He locked her up in the house and was never to leave? She was too lazy to find work while married? She was looking for a free ride? He said she could never get an education? He said she had to raise the kids? She said she wanted to raise the kids? etc.

Anytime a man (or women) were to prevent another human being from working and or getting an education, first of all it should be a criminal case, otherwise I would support SS on the basis its currently legal to prevent a spouse to do activities today.

Any time a women or man decides on his/her own (everyone is an independent person with rights) to not get an education or work while married (with or without children) should never be entitled to SS. Any other way is unethical...and contributes toward the deteriorating mental health of those FORCED to pay for life.
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Old 03-30-2017, 06:43 PM
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Amen, Brother, Amen
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Old 03-31-2017, 05:49 PM
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SS on what grounds?
I think in this case Arabian meant it as a workaround to get him paying his share of the joint debts. If he chooses not to pay (because he is likely looking at bankruptcy anyway with that credit card debt) the wife can easily get her assets trashed.

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Any time a women or man decides on his/her own to not get an education or work while married [they] should never be entitled to SS.
I said this to Arabian not too long ago, but words like "never" rarely have an appropriate place in an opinionated statement. I'm hardly a fan of SS, and I think that the quantum and duration of SS awards handed out in court are crazy, but there are many situations where SS is quite appropriate.

Essentially, compensatory SS can make sense. Needs based SS often makes substantially less sense.
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Old 03-31-2017, 06:07 PM
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Arabian's ex declared bankruptcy immediately at the time of separation leaving Arabian personally on the hook for corporate and personal debt (Director's liability for company debt). The only way Arabian was able to recoup SOME money was through maintenance enforcement.
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Old 04-10-2017, 07:12 PM
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I'm sure it happens frequently^especially if bills are sent by email. However, to pretend to not know about "10" cards if bills were coming to the home all along? Even the standard of living would/should alert someone. I can assure you that I would have noticed if my ex racked up 100k in restaurant/booze.
My ex forged my signature to get a credit card in my name, then racked up debt. I never had a clue. I never saw the mail, found out much later. It was easy to prove. But you know what? It was marital debt. Case closed.
A court doesnt care about details of debt as much as many people think.
Credit cards with huge debts before separation are marital debt - don't bother with this kind of stuff, just be bitter and move forward.....
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Old 04-11-2017, 12:28 PM
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My ex forged my signature to get a credit card in my name, then racked up debt. I never had a clue. I never saw the mail, found out much later. It was easy to prove. But you know what? It was marital debt. Case closed.
A court doesnt care about details of debt as much as many people think.
Credit cards with huge debts before separation are marital debt - don't bother with this kind of stuff, just be bitter and move forward.....
There are other ways to deal with that issue. First you should be working with the credit card company to resolve the issue. They issued a card to a fraudulent holder.

Identity Theft and Identity Fraud - Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Family Court is a civil court. You can't make claims of criminal conduct in them. If you have a case do what the RCMP recommends to resolve the issue.
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Old 04-11-2017, 11:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
There are other ways to deal with that issue. First you should be working with the credit card company to resolve the issue. They issued a card to a fraudulent holder.

Identity Theft and Identity Fraud - Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Family Court is a civil court. You can't make claims of criminal conduct in them. If you have a case do what the RCMP recommends to resolve the issue.
I never tried to make claims in court. My ex was brutal in stealing money from my family. Last six months she funneled tens of thousands straight out of family account. It was all on paper. She drained family money the whole marriage.
Lied in court. Said she never worked the whole marriage to try to STEAL spousal support from me. I laughed. I said LOOK AT HER T4s!!!! Judge refused. I now pay spousal support for the rest of my working life.

Those of you who think there is "justice" in family law better BUCKLE UP. It sure isn't what I would call "justice".
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