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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 05-20-2013, 12:10 PM
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Default Long term life Insurance Plans

Hi, thank you all for your care and great advice but wondering?
Paid life insurance plans out of matrimonial accounts for over 35 years. Can this be ordered to remain being paid and be left in spouse or children as the beneficiary. Not trying to be an ass or anything. Just figure since I and our kids were disposable after we built everything together all those years. I would like our children to at least see that. Lawyers will suck everything else out. I will be in debt till I die, can never recover financially and am too old to ever build up what we had. It is being destroyed through the Xs ignorance and the legal process in less than 3 years and were still at square one no end in site.
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Old 05-21-2013, 03:16 PM
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First off, let me say, I can see you are hurting and emotional, and thats natural and to be expected. Its fine to vent to us, but for the sake of your kids, don't draw them into this and try and prove that you and they are "disposable". It is in the best interests of the children to have a relationship with their father. Let them determine what that relationship is. Don't muddy the waters with your own battles with him.

As to insurance, it is quite common to have something in the agreement about insurance. If you are going to receiving spousal support and the kids getting CS, then you can get a number for how much life insurance he should have with you and the kids as beneficiaries. My ex even included a demand for proof I was paying the premiums. I don't know if you have an accountant, but mine verified the numbers, but there are too many variables for a quick calc. It depends on how long you will get support for and how much.
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Old 05-21-2013, 08:34 PM
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Wow are you sad! Where I come from you take everyone with good intentions not anything like you of course, a begrudging type who thinks to use the children for your own financial gain. I bet you would look at every receipt and expect the children to never grow and wear the same thing for 18 years. LOL
The only destruction was his own doing as he put in his court document "I want a divorce because those kids are worthless and she is useless" It was read out in court along with many other stupid and the Judge thought nothing of it. There is no CS or Spousal to date.
The question was pretty simple as I have very little time left to earn in the same manner I had. I would at least hope our children who also worked very hard in our business when they were young teens, would benefit from something of what I spent 35 years building too. I was looking for a Judicial reference.
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Old 05-21-2013, 08:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by financial woos View Post
Wow are you sad! Where I come from you take everyone with good intentions not anything like you of course, a begrudging type who thinks to use the children for your own financial gain. I bet you would look at every receipt and expect the children to never grow and wear the same thing for 18 years. LOL
Reallly???

Perhaps you should go back and read his response in a non emotional way.

DowntroddenDad was trying to help you and you responded by attacking him. What he said was valid but maybe he hit a sensitive issue for you? What you said to him was not nice.
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Old 05-21-2013, 08:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by financial woos View Post
I was looking for a Judicial reference.
Then get your azz to Canlii and do your own research.

Since you are separated, have you applied for your own life insurance coverage with children as beneficiaries, and which policy would pay your required cs if you die first, while they are under the definition?

It was one of the first things I did, at separation. And I provide proof of such coverage, annually, to my ex.

And for others -- if you have done so, you need to add a clause to your will specifying that policy does cover your cs obligations, and is not over and above.
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Old 05-21-2013, 09:01 PM
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Really did you read the first paragraph................... to assume any parent uses their children right out of the gate, pathetic.
Ps, get it through your heads no children ever come out unscathed in Divorce no matter how you hide it, cover it, or serve it. It's the most selfish and irresponsible act any parent carries out..................
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Old 05-21-2013, 09:08 PM
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So far I have not found any case law where it does not involve support as a link. I have been reviewing 100s of cases through several Law libraries in addition to federal case rulings. Tried, but can't get insurance due to terminal illness.
Thanks
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Old 05-22-2013, 06:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by financial woos View Post
Really did you read the first paragraph................... to assume any parent uses their children right out of the gate, pathetic.
Ps, get it through your heads no children ever come out unscathed in Divorce no matter how you hide it, cover it, or serve it. It's the most selfish and irresponsible act any parent carries out..................
Hmm I would say that staying in a marriage where there is tension, unhappiness and fighting is the worse thing a parent can to do their children.

We get it, he left you and you are pissed off at it. Now you want to make him pay.
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Old 05-22-2013, 09:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by financial woos View Post
Wow are you sad! Where I come from you take everyone with good intentions not anything like you of course, a begrudging type who thinks to use the children for your own financial gain. I bet you would look at every receipt and expect the children to never grow and wear the same thing for 18 years. LOL
The only destruction was his own doing as he put in his court document "I want a divorce because those kids are worthless and she is useless" It was read out in court along with many other stupid and the Judge thought nothing of it. There is no CS or Spousal to date.
The question was pretty simple as I have very little time left to earn in the same manner I had. I would at least hope our children who also worked very hard in our business when they were young teens, would benefit from something of what I spent 35 years building too. I was looking for a Judicial reference.
I'm not sure where you get the idea that I am a begrudging type who thinks to use the children for my own financial gain. Really, that is totally off the wall, and very far from reality.

I am simply of the opinion, as are many here, that involving the kids in your battles is counter to THEIR best interests. I simply offered you a caution, meant to be helpful to you and your children.

You can and should seek CS. That is the right of the children. Spousal support, I don't know enough of your situation.

I don't have a judicial reference, but you can google as well as I can. I did offer that my lawyer said that it was common practise. My lawyer could be wrong, but I doubt it. As I suggested, you might want to consult a lawyer or accoutnant to figure out what the appropriate amount of coverage is. You may also want to consider a clause, as my ex did, which says that if life insurance through your ex's employer is no longer available to them, then they are responsible to get equivalent coverage elsewhere within 90 days.

I am trying to help you. Whether or not you accept that is up to you.
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Old 05-22-2013, 09:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by financial woos View Post
Really did you read the first paragraph................... to assume any parent uses their children right out of the gate, pathetic.
Ps, get it through your heads no children ever come out unscathed in Divorce no matter how you hide it, cover it, or serve it. It's the most selfish and irresponsible act any parent carries out..................
I don't think anyone here thinks that divorce is good for children, though there are cases, such as abuse where it is the best choice out of a bad lot. And never did I suggest you were using your kids, just that you were involving your kids in your battles unnecessarily.

The children do not need to know every sordid detail, every battle, every unkind word that passes between parents. What point does that serve? Let the kids figure out their own relationships.
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