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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 09-17-2010, 06:00 PM
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Nobody is ever an idiot...just not knowledgeable

You can argue that you supported her and the family from the outset...if you have anything to back it up...at which point it would be considered that she had 10 years to get her life and employment in order, knowing a separation/divorce was coming...and has had the last 2 years of supporting herself...the average duration of a spousal support order is anywhere from 6-12 years...AVERAGE ugh
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:10 PM
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I agree that there isn't a snowball's chance in, well, "you know where" of getting her SS cut off.

The situation I'm in now, though, is as a payor of SS and the recipient of CS... except that her CS is ZERO because she won't work.

What I'm hoping for is a wash, such that her CS equals my SS. I don't want her money and I don't want to ruin her. I just want her to leave me the heck alone. So, if I can get her income imputed, I'll be happy. Well, not "happy" but at least I'll be able to sleep.

I have read somewhere that the fact I supported home-based businesses and that she quit 'em all (and is sitting on ~ $10,000 worth of stuff I bought for these businesses) counts for something, but I'm not sure what, exactly, it counts for, or for whom it counts.

The fact that it's UNCONSCIONABLE for her to seek SS when it means taking money away from her kids should mean something, but not in this country What happened to "kids first"?

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:14 PM
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Have you looked at having SS suspended for undue hardship??
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:16 PM
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If the court has to choose between undue hardship for a deliberately under or unemployed parent, or for the parent with custody, they do actually follow the best interests principle.
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
the average duration of a spousal support order is anywhere from 6-12 years...AVERAGE ugh
I've heard that the new guidelines shoot for a two-for-one duration, where two years of marriage gets you 1 year of support.

This is heartening to those who would otherwise be slapped with indefinite, but won't make any difference in my case: Her age coupled with the years of marriage puts her well into the "indefinite" category. Even if the new guidelines did apply, I'd still be looking at 8 years.

I am loathe to open the can of worms on SS though: She agreed to $1000/year for 5 years, with no review, in the SA. So, if I open that up, I could end up paying more and for longer. I'm sure her lawyer will open that paragraph up anyway...

One thing I'm curious about: Her "entitlement" to MY pension is worth about $1000/month to her, and is going to cost me $1000/month off of my paycheque for the rest of my life. Any idea why this doesn't count as support? Am I supposed to pay her $1000/month forever on top of losing $1000/month in income to her for the rest of my life?

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
Have you looked at having SS suspended for undue hardship??
Not yet, but I CAN show (without cheating, even) that my expenses = my income before SS (and not including entertainment, etc.... just bills)

I'm gonna ask my lawyer about this one, thanks.

Gary
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
If the court has to choose between undue hardship for a deliberately under or unemployed parent, or for the parent with custody, they do actually follow the best interests principle.
THAT is heartening

Thanks,

Gary
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:24 PM
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As well, your original agreement no longer applies, as you are the primary parent...there is grounds for a change, which I would do ASAP...you can look at imputing retroactively as well....asking for CS for the entire period to be provided. That will offset some of the spousal support...but if you are paying a grand a month in SS, I have taken the leap to you make decent money, although not great...and the child support would nowhere near negate that.

What are the access arrangements? does she come to exercise?
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
What are the access arrangements? does she come to exercise?
She lives in SK and the kids go to visit her. I have paid 100% of all of the costs (airline tickets) all along:

- Summer 2009, bought them tickets but they refused to go to visit her

- Christmas 2009, talked them into going out for a week, paid for tickets

- Summer 2010 Christmas went OK so they agreed to visit her for 3 weeks, paid for tickets.

- Asked her when she's off around Christmas this year (she hasn't answered) in order to book tickets for them. Moot point, as they've both said they don't want to go. I want them to go but don't know if I can "force" them to any more.

- Offered to let her visit them here any time - I would pay for it and vacate house. She declined (through kids) and told kids that "she can't bear to see Dad dating other women" and other nonsense.

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:41 PM
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I've heard that the new guidelines shoot for a two-for-one duration, where two years of marriage gets you 1 year of support.

Depends on the marriage and the judge you are lucky or unlucky enough to draw...SS has been trending shorter because marriages are as well, and most people marrying are waiting until their careers are established before jumping up to the alter.

This is heartening to those who would otherwise be slapped with indefinite, but won't make any difference in my case: Her age coupled with the years of marriage puts her well into the "indefinite" category. Even if the new guidelines did apply, I'd still be looking at 8 years.

The biggest problem you have is her history of being supported by you...but that can be argued with you retaining custody...tough fight though without an undue hardship claim...moreso because you are reacting to an action, rather than initiating one too

I am loathe to open the can of worms on SS though: She agreed to $1000/year for 5 years, with no review, in the SA. So, if I open that up, I could end up paying more and for longer. I'm sure her lawyer will open that paragraph up anyway...

1000/month, I think you meant?

One thing I'm curious about: Her "entitlement" to MY pension is worth about $1000/month to her, and is going to cost me $1000/month off of my paycheque for the rest of my life. Any idea why this doesn't count as support? Am I supposed to pay her $1000/month forever on top of losing $1000/month in income to her for the rest of my life?

An ex spouse is entitled to a percentage of RRSP or pension for the duration of the marriage...it is a clear mathematical process...although you would also be entitled to hers (if she had one). This was brought into law to protect the rights of the stay-at-home parents who would otherwise have worked and likely contributed to their own pensions or RRSPs, and earned higher wages...I would love to see this law changed as well, as more and more couples elect to continue their own careers after a marriage...and would love to see it limited to the period of time when any child rearing was done...
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