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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-17-2010, 03:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NBDad View Post
You are showing your hand...not a good idea.

Take ALL that out...you DON'T want to give her OR her attorney a heads up in what you'd be seeking, if you include that, she has more time to come up with arguments to refute you, and it increases your chances of a long drawn out battle.

Personally I'd cut it off RIGHT after the bolded text.
Awesome advice, thanks. I want her to know what she's up against (these items are what my lawyer is drafting as I type this) but don't want to give her too much to work with... Smart

She'll see it all when the paperwork is served anyway, no need for me to spell it out.

Thanks again,

Gary
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Old 09-17-2010, 03:36 PM
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Yeah, you've already threatened actions regarding the conditions, no need to tell her the specifics. The more you give her, the more she has to work with. .
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Old 09-17-2010, 03:42 PM
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re: imputed income....use the low end...if she has been working crap jobs, part-time, min. wage, etc. she can argue that the median is too high...figure that min. wage there is $9.25, full-time yearly income would be $19 240.00, ask the court to impute that, unless there are reasons she ought to be making more (education, experience, history, etc).

In order for me to cease legal action, I will require from you a written promise, copied to your lawyer and mine, to:

If you wish to settle this amicably without applying to the courts for direction and/or resolution, I shall require a letter or email from you stating as much that contains the following:

(less confrontational and threatening...she could argue that she agreed under duress.)

If she is represented by counsel, send the letter to her lawyer, not to her. Otherwise, at the end of your letter, advise her to seek her own legal counsel to review the requirements (she could again invalidate any agreement).

I would also print and file everything she needs for the withdrawal from FRO enforcement and send it as well, included for her ease.

Promise to not seek any form of Support while the children are living with me;

All of this raises a question for me why you are not simply sending out a consent order for her signature...if she refuses to sign it, then you go forth with motions.
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Old 09-17-2010, 03:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
re: imputed income....use the low end...if she has been working crap jobs, part-time, min. wage, etc. she can argue that the median is too high...figure that min. wage there is $9.25, full-time yearly income would be $19 240.00, ask the court to impute that, unless there are reasons she ought to be making more (education, experience, history, etc).

In order for me to cease legal action, I will require from you a written promise, copied to your lawyer and mine, to:

If you wish to settle this amicably without applying to the courts for direction and/or resolution, I shall require a letter or email from you stating as much that contains the following:

(less confrontational and threatening...she could argue that she agreed under duress.)

If she is represented by counsel, send the letter to her lawyer, not to her. Otherwise, at the end of your letter, advise her to seek her own legal counsel to review the requirements (she could again invalidate any agreement).

I would also print and file everything she needs for the withdrawal from FRO enforcement and send it as well, included for her ease.

Promise to not seek any form of Support while the children are living with me;

All of this raises a question for me why you are not simply sending out a consent order for her signature...if she refuses to sign it, then you go forth with motions.
Thanks - will definitely incorporate your advice.

I won't be asking for anything near average income for imputing purposes, but didn't want to tell her that. My suggestion will be more in line with what you suggested. I don't want to appear greedy, nor do I want to ask for anything that I'm not likely to get. My lawyer is counselling the "ask high, leave room to negotiate down" approach... I'm skeptical, but am weighing pros and cons.

A consent order will be part of the package we send out next week if she doesn't wisen up before then and work WITH me.

Thanks again,

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 09-17-2010, 04:03 PM
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How long has she lived there? That would also affect what I imputed...if she's been there for 2 or more years, the argument could be that had she retained employment, she would have been entitled to the increases as well over that period of time...
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Old 09-17-2010, 04:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
How long has she lived there? That would also affect what I imputed...if she's been there for 2 or more years, the argument could be that had she retained employment, she would have been entitled to the increases as well over that period of time...
She moved there on June 29th, I think, 2009. Let's say end-June.

There's a lot of history that may count against her:

- Was full-time @ Sears when we got married, was let go with a golden parachute when Sears fired all of their full-time staff

- Promised to work full time again as soon as the kids were in school full-time (there's no "I gave up my career to raise His kids" argument to be made)

- Refused to work throughout marriage. Got, and immediately quit several part-time jobs.

- Had several opportunities to work for Sears again throughout marriage (old friends were now store managers)

- Started, and quit, several home-based businesses - all of which I invested HEAVILY in (and she still has the embroidery machine, sewing machines, thousands of dollars worth of commercial cake decorating stuff, etc., etc.)

- refused to work after I left, said that she didn't have to work to support kids because I had to support them through CS (actually stated this, verbatim).

- After she made the statement above, I drove 3 hours to Trenton, drove her around to pick up job applications, made her fill them out, drove her around to drop them off. She got a callback from Toys R Us, and I drove her to initial interview. She got called back for a second interview and refused to go. I talked her into going and drove her to callback. She got the job, and then refused to show up to work on the first day. I found out, got her to call management back and beg for another chance, they gave her one more chance, and she started work. Got good reviews, was promised a promotion and full-time hours, and she immediately quit.

- When she stated her intent to move to SK and told me that my daughter had said that she would accompany her***, I said that I would allow it if Ex secured full-time employment and got a house (initial plan was to live with parents or in welfare housing, I refused). She told me that she had indeed already secured full-time employment at a new hotel/spa in SK (she was lying) and that Sears wanted her back.

- In separation agreement "pledged to seek permanent, full-time employment with a minimum annual income of $24K"

- Got one part time job ($10/hour, 20 hours) and quit it, got another part time job ($10/hour, 20 hours).

Soooooo, the history dating back to 1993 is consistent: broken promises to work, refusal to work, quitting work....

It's only been 15 months, though, not 2 years. Had she started working at Sears again, she'd be right back up there - I'm certain (was a departmental manager when she was let go in 1993).

Cheers!

Gary

*** my daughter (15 in Oct) has since stated that she was coerced into giving a "yes" and never had time to think about what she wanted to do.
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Old 09-17-2010, 05:07 PM
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Allow your lawyer to play hardball...she has the skills to be making anywhere from 35-45K in retail.
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Old 09-17-2010, 05:09 PM
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Spousal support, it should be noted, is there to assist a spouse maintain a level of lifestyle they were accustomed to...however, the spouse is required to take action to earn a wage that would decrease or end the need for support...Unless disabled, an adult should be able to support themself. How long divorced?
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Old 09-17-2010, 05:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
How long divorced?
Long story, and yes I'm an idiot:

- I declared intent to divorce 1998 (stayed for kids)
- Stopped being intimate 2004
- Separate bedrooms 2007
- Geographical separation (me to Ottawa) 2008
- 3rd iteration (and final, so I thought) of SA filed 2009 along with petition for divorce
- Divorced 2010

So, legally separated for almost 15 months, divorced for 3 months.

Gary
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Old 09-17-2010, 05:57 PM
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The courts will consider date of physical separation for spousal support...being 2008....2 years...not much chance in losing the spousal support yet
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