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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 08-17-2017, 09:14 AM
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A summary of factors considered by the judge is listed here
https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j...NbmHgeRMLQ9uvg

If you are both earning reasonable money and if you are paying FULL child support (instead of set-off) then I'd think that strengthens the argument that these expenses can easily be covered thru CS and her own means.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 08-17-2017, 09:19 AM
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This is not about the money. It is mostly about the interference with access as she moved 2 hours from our marital residence. There are 3 other children as well I only get to see every other weekend. I work out of province and only come home the wkds the kids are here and do not wish to have my wkds dictated for me.

I did not agree with this activity since he was 4 she unilaterally enrolled him 2 yrs ago at age 8 when she received a large settlement did by ask for contribution or obtain consent. Now wants contribution and says I unreasonably withheld consent.
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Old 08-17-2017, 10:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandem80 View Post
I work out of province and only come home the wkds the kids are here and do not wish to have my wkds dictated for me.
Um, that's part of what parenting is! Having your weekends and evenings, and days, dictated to you by your children's health, activities, interests, etc. All families, divorced or intact, face this on a daily basis.

You can't expect your kids' activities to not affect your weekends. Are their lives and interests supposed to just cease to exist during your parenting time?
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Old 08-17-2017, 11:05 AM
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When I did not agree to hockey...yup!

There are other activities the children can be in that do not have such a demanding schedule that partake in both of my access days.

Also maybe my ex should not have enrolled into hockey when she is on disability for the rest of her life earning only $800 a month.
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Old 08-17-2017, 11:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandem80 View Post
This is not about the money. It is mostly about the interference with access as she moved 2 hours from our marital residence. There are 3 other children as well I only get to see every other weekend. I work out of province and only come home the wkds the kids are here and do not wish to have my wkds dictated for me.

I did not agree with this activity since he was 4 she unilaterally enrolled him 2 yrs ago at age 8 when she received a large settlement did by ask for contribution or obtain consent. Now wants contribution and says I unreasonably withheld consent.


I can see Rioe's point though. Your ex moved with or without your permission? Im going to assume with. And you are an EOW dad. Which means that 4 days out of 30 a month or 48 days out of 365 your kids have to put their lives on hold for you. This is unreasonable. What are you going to do when they have jobs? Girlfriends/boyfriends? Social lives?

If its about the money then fine she didn't get your approval and is a jerk about asking you. Now you are making it about expecting your kids to give up something they enjoy 320 days a year they aren't with you.
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Old 08-17-2017, 11:24 AM
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Forget it! I argue enough with her about this I don't need to argue with the board members.

I don't agree with it! Hockey is not the be all end all and does not make me a bad dad for not agreeing to it.
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Old 08-17-2017, 12:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Tandem80 View Post
Forget it! I argue enough with her about this I don't need to argue with the board members.

I don't agree with it! Hockey is not the be all end all and does not make me a bad dad for not agreeing to it.


My step daughter plays broomball... it is every Thursday practice, Saturdays games and Sundays practices... this effects every single weekend we have the kids during the season (EOW)... my husband didn't pay for it because Mom wanted to enrol (her new bf is a coach and his daughter plays)... some weekends we go and some weekends we don't... just depends on what we have going on. We have her brother and now a new one due in October that are/will be effected... but oh well it's part of being a family.

That being said... it's your time, she can't force you to do things on your time, but a court can order the kids be at their activities... so essentially it comes down to who has the best argument.

FWIW - mom and kids also live 2 hours away and games are usually 2.5-3 hours away in the dead of winter


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Old 08-17-2017, 12:41 PM
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[QUOTEUm, that's part of what parenting is! Having your weekends and evenings, and days, dictated to you by your children's health, activities, interests, etc. All families, divorced or intact, face this on a daily basis.

You can't expect your kids' activities to not affect your weekends. Are their lives and interests supposed to just cease to exist during your parenting time?][/QUOTE]

I would agree, especially as the kids get older. It is easy to avoid a birthday party for a kids friend or a pick an activity on just one day/week with a young child. Older kids know they are missing and they will be resentful if they have to miss frequently.

Also, as kids get older the activities tend to be more time consuming. some activities are predictable, some are not. In my community, hockey and soccer schedules change a lot, lack of ice time and fields. In my case, you sign up for soccer before you know a schedule, then find out what day of the week it is a couple of weeks before it starts, and if you have more than one kid, pray you wont have a schedule conflict. Then when you inevitably do have 2 kids playing at the same time on opposite ends of the city every week, scramble to arrange rides, car pool, whatever you have to do. And every one is in the same boat, intact family or not.

This is why I do not like the clause that you have to inform the other parent of the schedule prior to agreement on activities. In some activities that is quite impossible when registration occurs before schedules are made.
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Old 08-17-2017, 01:30 PM
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Well I have been trying to get a job closer to home have handed out resumes like crazy the past 2 yrs. This is why I am currently away working in another province. If I can't find anything close to home the visitation schedule may have to change then to better suit my kids activities. I feel that I don't have many options.

I have been told if I take a drop in pay I will be imputed the income I earn now. Well the oilfield is dying and maintaining this income is not going to last much longer unless I relocate and I am further from my kids
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Old 08-17-2017, 02:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandem80 View Post
Well I have been trying to get a job closer to home have handed out resumes like crazy the past 2 yrs. This is why I am currently away working in another province. If I can't find anything close to home the visitation schedule may have to change then to better suit my kids activities. I feel that I don't have many options.

I have been told if I take a drop in pay I will be imputed the income I earn now. Well the oilfield is dying and maintaining this income is not going to last much longer unless I relocate and I am further from my kids


Maybe not feasible but if you are away every day except when you have your kids why can't you relocate your residence closer to your kids so when you are home they are close to their school, friends, activities, etc?


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