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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-16-2016, 03:33 PM
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My partners ei ran out, we live in a high unemployment area and his ex demanded s7 expenses that were astronomical and eventually turned his kids against him. He didn't qualify for welfare or disability and had to depend on his income and his savings to pay his cs. He had limited credit and refused support from anyone. Two years of high cs with no employment and day to day expenses took its toll. He used all his savings and retirement funds and he's closer to retirement than you are. He applied for everything. Imagine having a masters degree and begging for a job at pet smart. Thats where he was at. Over 800 jobs applied to, all the cold calls and friends we could reach out to, interviews in other cities, uncertainty of where we would live, job fairs after surgery. The list goes on. He even hurt his shoulder, back and feet at one of the jobs and he was not eligible for any benefits. Its going to take him the next three years to fix those issues. Everyone has a sob story and struggles they face.

You need to take a good hard long look at your life and start digging your way out of your hole. No excuses or buts. Only you can fix this and it will be hard and ugly. If it means paying arrears to FRO for the next five years, thats what you have to do. Don't waste your money on another court fight. Start thinking about where you want to be and how you're going to get there.
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Old 11-16-2016, 03:43 PM
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Don't mind paying arrears, always accepted that I would and will. Question is can I work out a payment schedule with the FRO that will stave off eviction and pay less (it would be below current support figure) monthly until I can get more income, or do I have to go through the courts to work out that repayment? All sources unclear on that so far.
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Old 11-16-2016, 03:50 PM
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You would be much further ahead (in the eyes of FRO) if you were to register with them before your ex does. You can access loads of information on the internet about FRO and VAPs.

With that said, FRO (or any other maintenance enforcement agency) only enforces current orders. If you want to change support you have to get a court order. However, FRO will likely be a heck of a lot easier to deal with if you can prove to them that you are currently in the process of seeking an order to change.

Remember - FRO has probably heard every version in existence of "my dog ate my homework" when it comes to excuses for not paying court-ordered support. You will not 'pull the wool over their eyes'.... you will try to make an arrangement for the arrears and if you honor your agreement they will not advance more aggressive collection actions.

All the information you need on FRO is online.

Failing this your next option would be a motion for a stay of enforcement. Again, you can get information about that on the FRO website.
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Old 11-16-2016, 05:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 416Dad39;214371[B
]Have my son 2 days a week and every other weekend[/B]. Working ~30 hrs a week as it is. Not much room for a 2nd job.
I think this is what you need to focus on in your motion to change. You have shared access if you truly have your son 2 days EVERY week and every other weekend... there is no reason YOU should be paying support, despite what you signed off on. Seek a change in CS based on the status quo access arrangement of shared custody. Again, if what you are saying is true and you truly have your son 2 days a week (and not just for a couple hours two days a week), this is what you should focus on.
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Old 11-16-2016, 06:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 416Dad39 View Post
Have my son 2 days a week and every other weekend. Working ~30 hrs a week as it is. Not much room for a 2nd job.
How did you decide that you have the kids 39.5% of the time? Did her lawyer tell you that? When do you actually have them? We can do the math for you.
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Old 11-16-2016, 08:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
How did you decide that you have the kids 39.5% of the time? Did her lawyer tell you that? When do you actually have them? We can do the math for you.
They shaved hours off the weekend (ends Sunday at 6pm) and one of the days (school pickup til bedtime) and added a clause that regardless of math, I agree that time schedule as is does not consitute shared custody. Basically, she gets credit for bedtime.
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Old 11-16-2016, 11:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 416Dad39 View Post
They shaved hours off the weekend (ends Sunday at 6pm) and one of the days (school pickup til bedtime) and added a clause that regardless of math, I agree that time schedule as is does not consitute shared custody. Basically, she gets credit for bedtime.
So, it isn't 39.5%

Can you not get legal aid? This clause seems to be one that would have almost no chance of standing up in court.

(As a sidenote, the difference in CS if you had shared custody would have been $800 a month, which is $9,600 a year. The $10k you got was peanuts.)
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Old 11-17-2016, 06:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
So, it isn't 39.5%

Can you not get legal aid? This clause seems to be one that would have almost no chance of standing up in court.

(As a sidenote, the difference in CS if you had shared custody would have been $800 a month, which is $9,600 a year. The $10k you got was peanuts.)
Yep, if you discount hours spent in school, daycare and sleeping, comes out to something like 42%. Court arguments would be a back and forth over minutia like that. I doubt the 'not shared' clause will stand up in court either, which is why I've been told the de novo review in Dec 2017 should be a slam dunk. The only card she has to play against that is the 'deadbeat dad' one, which is (I suspect) one of the reasons she's pushing now with the FRO.

Thanks for reminding me of the CS difference. I was well aware of the numbers at the time as well. She was pushing for sole custody in court, and I had a hard timeline to move out of the matrimonial home. At that time, I was still broke, unemployed and sick with an autoimmune disease while self rep. That immediate 10k upon signing meant survival. It was on top of another sum for spousal and property. (that wasn't much larger). Welcome to poverty. It often means shitty short term choices.
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Old 11-17-2016, 10:39 AM
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But also means that you were taken advantage of. High priced lawyer versus someone who did not have proper legal advice.

Get some legal advice. If your income is low you might well qualify for legal aid. Focus on yourmotion to change access. Leave,the money,issue alone till you have gained in the access issue and then simply apply for the benefits to be shared and the CS change.

One step at a time keeping the issues separate is a good strategy.
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Old 11-17-2016, 12:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
But also means that you were taken advantage of. High priced lawyer versus someone who did not have proper legal advice.

Get some legal advice. If your income is low you might well qualify for legal aid. Focus on yourmotion to change access. Leave,the money,issue alone till you have gained in the access issue and then simply apply for the benefits to be shared and the CS change.

One step at a time keeping the issues separate is a good strategy.
Oh, I had proper legal advice. I may have been self rep, but I wasn't so foolish as to sign a final SA without consulting a lawyer. Managed to borrow a bit from friends and family for a few hours with a decent lawyer during the final signing. His conclusion was the same as mine; not fair, but not as bad as it might get at trial. Lawyers are risk averse too. Nuances in the SA are too complex here for a simple consultation with a new lawyer, and I (obviously) can't afford the old one right now. With the jobs, I think I'm just over the cut off for LA.
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